All My Agony Fades Away
by astarte-lydianna
Summary: After the war Hermione is offered a chance to apprentice under Professor Snape to become his replacement. During the process they get know each other in a whole new way but he isn't the easiest person to get close to and Hermione's plans have never worked out exactly how she planned them to. Gradual HG/SS get-together fic.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Notes: This has been sat on my laptop for a while so I thought I'd post it and see what the response was. I have a handful of chapters for it that I'll be reading through and tidying up before posting as and when I get time so probably every couple of days. I am currently attempting to complete the entire draft of this story as quickly as possible because I already had several unfinished fanfics and don't want to add another one so I am determined to get the whole first draft done so that I already know exactly how the story is going to go. Also some people have said Lavender was killed off in the battle of Hogwarts, since this wasn't actually mentioned in the books as far as I can remember I'm keeping her alive and also I've obviously resurrected Snape as I just feel so bad for him to have been the good guy all along only to be brutally killed by a bloody giant snake right at the end.

Also if you're a Harry Potter fan – particularly of non-canon pairings then check out my beta JenJenSon's work

Disclaimer: I don't own anything recognisable and make no money from writing this. It is purely done for fun

Chapter 1

The "eighth" years gathered nervously by the black lake after watching the third year class leaving wrapped in their towels. It was a sunny day and fairly warm considering, but with the breeze offering a chill none of the students were exactly looking forward to this lesson.

As part of the new reformed Hogwarts the classes were being taught a new class, practical skills; this was sort of a mixture between survival skills and physical education with a few other bits thrown in. Hogwarts didn't offer P.E. like muggle schools did or most other wizarding schools for that matter and so a new class had been created. After all Hermione, Harry and Ron had all been thrown into their mission on the run with not really any idea about survival skills and Hermione although able to think and plan what they needed for almost every eventuality had other weaknesses such as, she hadn't really known how to swim prior to leaping from a dragons back mid flight into the water. She was lucky that she knew the mechanics enough not to drown and that she had Ron and Harry with her.

So the new class was being taught by several different Professors on a rota and was twice a week for all students in years three and above. Last week they had done a practical session in the forbidden forest where they had to spot any plants, berries and fungi that could be useful if they were stuck in a forest with no food or potions and during another session they had had to put up a tent both with and without magic, just in case they were to end up with a broken wand. It was rumoured that later on in the year the older years would be covering wandless magic for emergencies and even sex education...although Hermione thought perhaps the sex education was just a rumour.

Today they were swimming. Hermione wasn't really looking forward to it since she wasn't very good with water or swimming but Ron and Harry didn't seem fazed. Ron was a brilliant swimmer, it was certainly one of his strengths, where as Harry was average. Hermione eyed some of the other students, Neville looked as nervous as she did; then again one was allowed to look uncomfortable when stood outside on a temporary peer, over a huge dark lake at school in just swimwear in Scotland.

"Do you think Snape will be wearing his swim shorts?" Ron sniggered to Harry beside her.

"Do keep your mouth closed Mr Weasley, you are here to learn not to waffle on like an old woman." Snape's voice came from behind them, causing most of the students to jump. It was amazing that after nearly dying and then taking months to recover he still had the power to frighten not only the younger students but also the older ones. He stood in his usual black robes billowing in the wind. "This part of the lake has been warded for your protection during this lesson so do not stray beyond the marked area, lest you become a plaything for the squid. You will line up in an orderly fashion along the edge of the peer now."

They did as commanded and huddled their towels closer to them to protect them from the wind.

"Sir, how are you going to teach us to swim if you don't demonstrate?" Seamus spoke up.

"I will be of better use where I am able to see everything and therefore assist from afar if necessary, well done for volunteering to go first Mr Finnigan." Snape drawled snatching the towel from Seamus' shoulders before firmly shoving him off of the peer and into the water. Everyone watched as Seamus disappeared below the water with a splash and then resurfaced a moment later.

"It's bloody cold in here!" he called up to the others.

"He can swim already, how regrettable." Snape commented dryly. The students glanced between one another not sure whether he was joking or not. "What are you waiting for Finnigan, get swimming to the other peer and climb out?" The boy did as asked and Snape turned back to the other students waiting on the peer. "Weasley, you're next chop chop."

Seeing the students jumping into the water one by one, Hermione began to back away from the edge nervously; from what Harry had said about the weeds and creatures in the lake she wasn't really looking forward to jumping in there.

"Um Professor, what about those of us who can't swim?" she spoke up.

"You will learn, anyone else here unable to swim?" he raised his eyebrow at the remaining students. Neville nervous raised his hand. "Of course."

"No...I mean I can swim sort of, I'm just afraid of heights." He mumbled. The Professor reached out and pushed Neville off of the peer.

"Problem solved." He sneered, the other two students leapt off voluntarily leaving just Hermione backing further and further from the edge. "Miss Granger, it is really quite simple, once you are in the water kick your legs and move your arms. I'm not going to let you drown; I'd no doubt lose my job if I did."

Getting frustrated with her for wasting time he swiftly walked over to her and in one swoop had her lifted into his arms. She felt the witch freeze in shock or fear or both before he walked back to the edge of the peer and threw her in. She screamed until she hit the water and he watched carefully for her to resurface. Fortunately she did, she rose coughing and spluttering to the surface and started to flail her arms and legs around in an attempt to propel herself forward to the other peer.

Hermione felt someone grab her arm and panicked for a moment until she spotted Neville next to her.

"Come on, let me help you." He said. "I'll tug your arms along; you just kick your legs." So the pair made it towards the other peer with Hermione kicking and Neville swimming slowly backwards. He released her as they made it to the peer and she did the last bit on her own. "See you can do it Hermione, just try not to panic."

"Thanks Neville." She smiled gratefully climbing from the water.

"Well, now that we're all over this side it's time to head back the other way." Snape's voice came from behind them causing them all to turn and wonder how he had gotten from one peer to the other so quickly when you couldn't apparate inside Hogwarts grounds. "Get to the other side and back again. The first one back gets ten house points. The last one back loses ten house points. Granger you stay put."

"Sir?" Hermione enquired as all of the other students made their way across the water.

"You can't swim." He stated.

"No Sir, at least not well without someone helping me." She told him.

"You will wait here, when your classmates return this way I will get one of them to assist you." He told her. She frowned, he was the teacher surely he was suppose to assist her...not that she had any desire to see him in swimwear of course...that'd be weird.

Severus Snape had agreed to return to Hogwarts to teach for two reasons; firstly he had no desire to return to Spinners End and his teaching position afforded him living quarters within the castle walls, secondly Minerva had convinced him that he was the only possible candidate for the Potions Professor post.

He didn't feel guilty about manhandling Granger earlier; whilst it was somewhat inappropriate the "eighth" years were all adults and were all afforded different rules than the other students. Hermione Granger certainly no longer looked like a child so he felt very little remorse in touching her to throw her into the water...well until he realised she wasn't being a drama queen and that she honestly couldn't swim without help. Then he felt a bit bad about it and decided to allow Longbottom to assist her without reprimanding him for it.

"Weasley ten points." He announced reluctantly as the red head reached them. "You can make yourself useful and assist Miss Granger since she is evidently the only one that doesn't know how to swim already."

Ron helped her to swim around the platform going part of the way out towards the peer and then back again rather than making the full length. The rest of the class did a few more lengths before Professor Snape just dismissed them since the rest of the lesson seemed pointless.

It almost made him sick watching the two remaining students; Weasley was clearly trying to flirt with the completely oblivious know-it-all.

"Alright Weasley you're dismissed." He shouted. "Miss Granger if you would like to demonstrate that you can now swim back to the peer then you may also be dismissed."

Hermione watched Ron look at her sympathetically and swim off before following him at a somewhat slower pace.

"Don't rush and tire yourself out, you just need to be able to swim from one end to the other unaided and without drowning to pass the class." He called to her but she didn't look back at him. She didn't dare and instead she focused on breathing and moving forward. As she finally reached the ladder the other side she saw a black swirl of cloud fly above her to the peer.

She gripped the ladder and hauled her way out of the water being careful not to slip as she climbed. A hand reached down to her as she reached the top and practically dragged her up off of the ladder.

"Thank you." She murmured quietly, quickly fumbling for the towel on the peer that she had left there earlier. "Is that how you sneak up on people? With dark magic?"

"Miss Granger, you are dismissed." He told her bluntly.

"Sorry." She mumbled, turning to leave. She tugged her wand out of her costume as she did so and applied a drying charm on herself before transfiguring her costume into underwear and her towel into a loose sweater dress as she went. She didn't want to have to walk back to the castle in her swimming costume for all to stare at after all.

"You had your wand on you the entire lesson?" A voice asked from behind her causing her to stiffen. "You must have been the only one of your class to do so...although I certainly have no desire to know where you kept it, five points to Gryfindor Miss Granger."

Hermione stood in shook as the dark Professor passed her and headed towards the castle, Severus Snape just willingly awarded Gryfindor points _outside_ of class! Alright it was only five points but still...that _never_ happened!


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Notes: Just to let you all know that I'm changing something else from cannon, although it isn't a huge change and doesn't affect much...in my story instead of leaving Hogwarts and working at the ministry for two years before returning to Hogwarts to teach I'm having Minerva McGonagall remain at Hogwarts to complete an apprenticeship in transfiguration before taking over at the Professor. Just because it fits better with my story You know what...aside from big things that I will notify you of if I change; if small things are out of cannon then please assume I did it on purpose

Disclaimer: Obviously nothing recognisable belongs to me and I don't make any money from writing this – it's purely for your entertainment and my own entertainment of course. However if you feel the need to pay me in nice reviews of course I wouldn't object.

If you're a big HP fan then check out my beta JenJenSon's work; she's brilliant! Especially her Dramione 'Can We Make It'!

Chapter Two

Somehow that one day had changed Hermione and it bothered her. That night she dreamt about none other than their potions Professor in a most inappropriate way and that opened the door to a whole new way of looking at him. It wasn't like she had instantly become obsessed with him of course, back in their fifth year she had had a school girl crush on him which she had then grown out of. After all back then they had just learnt of his role in the order, how brave he was for doing what he did and not to mention how intelligent he was which was always a winning trait for Hermione. Still she had gotten over that a long time ago so she didn't really understand where these new feelings were coming from.

Perhaps it was because he had seen her in only her swimming costume, awarded Gryfindor points and of course he had actually touched her person twice in the space of one lesson? He had only touched her once to throw her into the lake and a second time to help her out, neither instant struck her as inappropriate...although he had actually lifted her into his arms before throwing her in – and he and lifted her as if she weighed nothing. She shook her head to stop the distracting thought of being held in his arms from staying in her head any longer. It was Professor Snape! This whole thing was insane!

The following week she found herself sat facing the Headmistress in her office nervously. She didn't know why she had been called here, only that she had been owled a request to come after her lessons had finished for the day.

"Relax dear, heavens you look like you're about to pass out!" the older witch murmured, offering her a cup of tea. Hermione took it gratefully and relaxed at bit more into her seat to take a sip.

"Sorry, I'm never sure whether it's a good or bad thing to be summoned to this office when I don't know the reason for it." She said with a slight smile.

"On this occasion Miss Granger it is certainly a good thing." Her mentor smiled. "I heard that you were planning on taking some of your NEWTS early, is that correct?"

"How did you hear that? I was actually going to come and ask you about it next week once I'd made a revision plan." Hermione nodded.

"Well, I think it's a wonderful idea, not to mention that the offer I am about to make you depends on you taking your NEWTS at your earliest convenience." She explained, passing the young witch a piece of parchment. Hermione's brows furrowed as she read the paper in front of her.

"I'm confused...are you even allowed to show me this?" she asked.

"I think I can trust you to use the greatest of digression with the information." The Headmistress replied, taking the parchment back.

"Where is he going?" Hermione asked.

"One would think that your first question would have been in regards to his replacement not to the man in question." The older witch said, her lips turning up at the corners. "I got no further information from him than that he was sick of trying to teach complete dunder-head's how to not blow themselves up using a cauldron and little else."

"I take it those were his exact words?"

"Those were the polite ones, she's being nice again." A voice came from behind them. Hermione jumped and turned around to see that the man in question had joined them. "Really Minerva this isn't what I agreed to and I certainly didn't give you permission to discuss my plans for after my resignation."

"Did you have another student in mind then? Perhaps there is another student that you believe will be able to pass all of the required NEWTs before Christmas and then manage to complete a Masters degree to your higher than high standards?" the Headmistress asked him, tipping her glass down her nose. Noticing that the glaring man didn't response she continued. "I didn't think so. So since the surprise is now ruined I will get to the point – we're offering you an apprenticeship Miss Granger, a chance to complete a Master's Degree in Potions under Severus' tutelage in order to then replace him as the Potion's Professor here at Hogwarts once you have completed your apprenticeship."

"But Hogwarts hasn't had an apprentice position available in-"

"Thirty-four years." The older witch finished.

"Of course," Hermione blushed. "I forgot that it was you Professor."

"Was this all you needed me for Minerva, because I fail to see how my input is going to make any difference since you have basically chosen an apprentice for me and-"

"Sit down Severus."

With a huff the man obeyed and took a seat next to Hermione who tried very hard not to laugh out loud at the scary Potion's Professor being ordered around by anyone. Then she remembered he face when she had drawn her wand on him in the great hall before the battle...he had looked hurt. He had hesitated in drawing his own and not cast a single attacking spell, only shielding himself from hers...that should have been a clue to them that he wasn't really on the wrong side at all. He hadn't wanted to fight her; he hadn't wanted to hurt her.

"What may I ask is it that you find so fascinating about my person Miss Granger?" he drawled, making her realise that she had been staring at him in amazement.

"Clearly it was seeing you do as you're told." Minerva sniped. "I asked you here Severus to offer you a different position, Defense Against the Dark Arts...that is if you still wanted it?"

"I had hoped to get away from teaching idiotic, hormonal miscreants altogether Minerva but I must confess that the position is at least somewhat more appealing...I will consider it." He told her carefully. "And you Miss Granger; is potions an acceptable field for you or were you planning to dash off and become an Auror along with Mister's Potter and Weasley...and much to my surprise and horror Mister Longbottom?"

"No sir...in fact I hadn't made a decision at all but I do think that this opportunity is far too good to turn down. Even if in the long run I find that I don't like being a Professor it would certainly be a great achievement and start to any career." Hermione beamed at the Headmistress. "Although...Christmas is a little early to be taking my NEWTs...I was thinking more along the lines of February."

"Of course, because clearly the resident Hogwarts know-it-all needs to fit more into her brain before she takes her exams so that she can get a perfect score."

"Severus _that_ isn't necessary." Minerva McGonagall told him firmly. "Hermione, believe me you are more than capable of passing your NEWTs right now, you could have passed them years ago. If you take them on the last week of this term you can start your apprenticeship in the New Year. Your apprenticeship should take two years and I have only managed to convince Severus here to stay for the remainder of this year and one additional year, as it is it will be a lot of work and probably take some time out of your summer."

"Alright," Hermione nodded. "so I have less than two months to prepare...I've got to go change my revision schedule!" Hermione rose from her seat and darted in the direction of the exit before pausing mid-way. "Thank you for the opportunity Professor...and to you Professor Snape for agreeing to teach me."

"I was hardly in agreement I was left very little choice in the matter." He muttered, more to the older witch at the desk than the younger one thanking him.

When Hermione burst into the Gryfindor common room and headed straight for her dormitory it left her friends a little confused. They had been waiting to question her on what the Headmistress had wanted only for her to head straight past them in a hurry to her room.

"I'll go see what happened." Ginny said, following her where the boys couldn't. She found Hermione sat cross legged on the floor with books surrounding her and scribbling in what appeared to be a muggle journal. "What on earth is the matter Hermione?"

"NEWTs." Hermione replied, without glancing up at her.

"What's that?" the red head asked pointing at the highlighter in her hand.

"A highlighter...it's well, here look." Hermione turned the journal around for Ginny to see. "This is my revision schedule; I find a muggle diary easier to work with as the ones in the wizarding world are not quite as common and therefore more expensive. Also I prefer to organise all my classes in different colours so it's again easier and cheaper for me to use muggle pens, pencils and highlighters."

"Right...so what happened with McGonagall?"

"Oh! Of course, how stupid of me! I'm taking my NEWTs." Hermione replied. "Not at the end of the school year, not early as in next term but before Christmas!"

"Wow Hermione that's great!" Ginny grinned. She observed her friend frantically pawing over her books for a moment before making a decision. "Books down." Hermione looked up at her in confusion. "You heard me – put the books down! You have until Christmas to drive yourself crazy but tonight you are going to march your behind back downstairs and celebrate with my and the boys."

Both girls laughed at the youngest Weasley's antics before Hermione relented and closed all her books to follow the red head back downstairs. A few moments later the four Gryfindors sat by the fire discussing Hermione's early NEWTs.

"Do you want to know the best part?" Hermione grinned. "I've been offered a job!"

"A job?" Ron asked.

"Here?" Harry asked.

"Well first an apprenticeship, which is bare minimum pay because I'll be training and earning my master's degree but after that I'll be teaching! I'll be a Professor here can you believe it?" Hermione gushed.

"Actually I can." Ron nodded.

"What subject?" Harry asked. Hermione bit her lip and glanced between her friends for a moment before answering, she wasn't sure if she was allowed to say anything since it would reveal the fact that Professor Snape would be leaving.

"Potions," Hermione said quietly. "but you can't tell anyone that until it becomes public knowledge because I don't think I'm supposed to tell anyone."

"You mean Snape's leaving?" Ron asked suddenly looking very interested.

"No, well I don't know I guess so eventually if they're offering me the position but not until I finish my apprenticeship." She replied evasively.

"Your worst subject is potions." Ginny commented thoughtfully.

"Yes and no...I love potions, I'm just not so fond of Professor Snape's teaching methods of marking every Gryfindor down just for being in Gryfindor." She replied. "At least it'll be a challenge, you know how much I love learning new things; I'd just hate some boring old ministry job where I wasn't pushing myself."

"Of course you would." Ginny laughed rolling her eyes.

"Hermione are you mental?! Studying with Snape for two years?! He's an evil git!" Ron burst out.

"Professor Snape." Hermione corrected automatically.

"Ron, he's not actually evil remember." Harry pointed out, nudging him in the side.

"How do we actually know that? He was a spy for both sides; no one will ever know what side he was _really_ on! Just whichever one suited him best I bet!" Ron continued.

"I think you're wrong." Hermione said quietly. "I remembered something earlier; do you remember when Professor McGonagall duelled against him?"

"Yeah, that was awesome!" Ron nodded enthusiastically. "Best never get on the wrong side of that old bird!"

"That was pretty cool..." Harry admitted.

"Well I was thinking...Professor Snape never once fought back, he just blocked and _let_ her just keep firing spells at him. He didn't _want_ to duel her, he actually hesitated drawing his wand – when have you ever know Professor Snape to hesitate?"

No one said anything; they knew the answer to that. Professor Snape was an excellent dueller; he had to be thanks to his work for the order. Severus Snape didn't hesitate. Ever.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Notes: Well I'm about to do it again, I'm resurrecting someone. I just can't help it! I'm convinced that hardly anyone actually reads author's notes I know I don't always read them although I do try to but sometimes I'm just too excited about reading the story I skip them. So anyway I haven't gotten much done the past few days due to two poorly children and a poorly husband but I'm hoping everyone is on the mend!

Disclaimer: The usual drill people – I own nothing recognisable and make no money from writing this little story

Chapter Three

Hermione flopped down on the sofa and dropped her head into her hands – that was it, exams over and there was nothing else she could do. She wasn't the only one that had taken exams early, she was however the only one that had taken _all_ of her NEWTs early. Several of her classmates had taken one or two exams early and planned to take more early the following term but were spreading them out by doing each subject as they felt confident that they could pass it. This of course meant that they had more free periods to either begin studies towards their higher education qualifications or to fit in extra study time for the subjects they had yet to complete...or of course just spend that free time doing nothing or playing Quidditch much like Harry and Ron who had both taken two exams early.

"Why do you look so down, I thought you said the exams had been going well?" Harry asked her, as he entered the common room.

"They did I suppose...it's just frustrating that I can't do anything now but wait." She sighed. "Professor McGonagall told me I should just enjoy the Christmas Holidays since I won't get my results until the first of January, but how can I enjoy myself not knowing whether I'll be starting my apprenticeship next year or whether I'll still be a student?"

"Hermione there is no way that you could actually fail any of your subjects." Harry reassured her taking her hand in his. "Come on, let's go find the others."

Hermione gave in and followed Harry downstairs to the Great Hall where Ron and Neville were sat enjoying their free period. The one subject that nearly every eighth year student had applied to take early was DADA and so nearly the entire year had a free lesson.

"Hey 'Mione I heard you took all of your NEWTs already, have you decided where you're going next year yet?" Neville asked her as she took a seat next to him.

"I'll be here still." She smiled. "If I passed all the subjects I needed to qualify then I'll be starting my Master's degree in potions under Professor Snape in January, if not then I'll still be a student. Also Professor McGonagall and the Ministry would ideally still like me to complete the Lifa Skills course along with everyone else. Although obviously if I had chosen to go study elsewhere then I would have just had to fill out a drop out form for that class but honestly if I'm going to be here anyway I may as well finish the course – especially if we're going to get to learn more about wandless magic."

"Wow Hermione, that's really great that you've been offered an apprenticeship here – they're really rare!" Neville beamed. "It'll be nice to still see you around too. With your help I might actually pass potions, if I don't get at least an acceptable in NEWT level potions then I can't start auror training."

"Don't worry Ron's nearly as bad as you are." Harry piped up.

"Hey!" Ron protested causing the others to laugh. "At least I don't blow anything up."

"That's usually because either I'm your lab partner or you're right next to me so you can copy me anyway, not to mention Hermione telling you _and _Neville _and _me what to do." Harry laughed.

"You know Neville if you didn't get so panicky all the time you wouldn't actually be that bad at potions and you've improved a lot this year." Hermione added.

"I wouldn't be so nervous if it weren't for Snape. He still terrifies me, even after everything..." Neville mumbled. The group laughed again.

"Typical, he's quite happy to help run a student rebellion in our absence, stand up and mouth off to death eaters and Voldemort himself, not to mention beheading a giant snake but ask him to go to double potions with Professor Snape and he gets scared!" Ron laughed loudly.

Hermione and Ginny made their way downstairs where they had heard the noise coming from at six in the morning when it had woken them up. On trying to ignore the noise and go back to sleep it had seemingly gotten louder and louder until they had gotten out of bed and pulled on some clothes to head downstairs.

"Happy Christmas Ginny, Hermione." Harry called to them from the kitchen table.

"Happy Christmas." Ron said with his mouthful.

"Merry Christmas everyone." Hermione smiled, spotting the source of most of the noise. Fred and George were playing with Teddy near the Christmas tree and singing Christmas songs at the top of their lungs.

When Mr and Mrs Weasley came downstairs to join them Charlie had already arrived, followed by Percy and not long after that presents were being opened. Hermione loved Christmas at the burrow, not that she had never loved Christmas at home with her parents...but she had always wished for at least one brother or sister. She still missed her parents terribly, especially on days like Christmas or her birthday. She shook her head and tried not to think about them living their own life somewhere else without her, not even knowing she existed.

"Hey Hermione, there's mail for you." Fred called out, trying to take the letter from the raven on the windowsill only to get clawed. "Ouch!" Hermione laughed and went to take the letter and nearly dropped it on seeing her name scrawled on the front 'Miss Hermione Granger'...she recognised that handwriting.

"Who's it from?" Ginny asked noticing Hermione's surprised expression.

"It looks like Professor Snape's handwriting." She replied uncertainly, opening the letter. The first piece of parchment was a large formally letter with the Hogwarts letter heading at the top.

'_Miss Granger_

_I am writing to you to formerly offer you an apprenticeship in Potions at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to begin on January 3__rd__. On the acceptance of this position you will no longer be a student at the school and will cease to be affiliated with any house and unable to acquire or diminish house points, you will no longer be required to wear uniform although you will be expected to dress appropriately at all times. Enclosed is a list of the items that you should endeavour to acquire before your return and I will expect to see you at my office at 8am on January 3__rd__. _

_Severus Snape_

_Potion Master – Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry'_

Hermione gaped at the parchment a little longer and glanced at the list of items before noticing another piece of parchment.

'_Miss Granger_

_As I'm sure you may have concluded from this letter you have passed your NEWTs to a required standard. I also know that you will most likely be unsatisfied with this until you know your exactly scores so whilst I cannot provide you with the official certificate I can tell you that you did in fact score O's across the board and had the highest total point score for a Hogwarts student in the past twenty years. Hopefully this will satisfy your incessant need to prove yourself to know more than all of your classmates combined._

_I would also like to add that whilst I can no longer deduct points or assign you detention I can still punish you be means of terminating your apprenticeship so do try to keep your troublemaking Gryfindor tendencies to a minimum._

_S.S.'_

"I got all O's!" she exclaimed. Everyone said their congratulations and she bounced around hugging everyone in excitement, unknowingly Professor Snape had just given her the best Christmas present she could get this year.

"How come you got your results already and Ron and I haven't had ours?" Harry asked.

"Because the teachers get them early or at least they got mine because they need them to officially offer me my apprenticeship." She replied.

"You got it?" Ginny asked. "Let me see!" She snatched the letters from Hermione's hand and read them. "Snape willingly told you your results? When he didn't have to?"

"Yeah I thought that was odd too..." she mused. "I'm going to assume that either Professor McGonagall ordered him too or that he managed to find some kind of Christmas spirit...or that he thought I'd bug him with owls asking him for them until he told me."

"That last one, definitely!" Ginny laughed.

"I don't know McGonagall sure can boss people around." George commented.

"And mean it!" Fred added.

"Scary old bird she is." Ron put in.

"Show some respect for your elders!" Molly Weasley chided using a dish cloth to whack each boy around the head in turn. "Or I'll owl her everything you rude you say about her before the next gathering!"

The remaining members of the Order or the Phoenix and Dumbledore's Army tended to try and meet up once a month to catch up although sometimes people couldn't make every gathering and one in particular only made them when ordered but Professor McGonagall.

Hermione sighed in defeat. Sometimes it was just better to give up. There was no point in hoping that Ron would change all his bad points over night; that was why she hadn't taken things any further than their heated kiss at the battle. They wouldn't work and she knew it but she hadn't written him off completely yet because he had started to grow up and maybe one day they might both reach a point where they would be able to make a proper go of it.

Bill and Fleur had joined them at lunchtime for Christmas dinner where they announced that they were expecting a baby due in the summer. Obviously everyone was thrilled at the news, except curiously Ginny seemed a bit off about it which Hermione made a note to ask her about later.

The evening was full of games and entertainment including the twin's enchanted mistletoe which resulted in Mr and Mrs Weasley sharing more than just a simple kiss in the kitchen much to the horror of their children and Fleur giving Ron a simple peck on the lips to release the spell on him which turned him into a red faced spluttering fool for a good few minutes.

Hermione found herself stuck under the mistletoe that Ginny had deliberately placed to catch her and Harry and George gladly volunteered to give her a very loud exaggerated kiss to release her much to everyone's amusement.

The holidays flew by and it wasn't long before the four youngest members of the group were all stood at the station platform to return to Hogwarts. Hermione smiled to herself, it was nice of Mrs Weasley to have pretty much adopted her and Harry. She had taken Harry in from day one with no questions asked which to start with Hermione had thought was because she was a motherly woman and Harry was firstly Harry Potter and secondly had no parents. It was only during the last couple of years the she realised that it may in fact be more than that and that they were probably in fact actually related making Harry family. James Potter's mother was a Black, Sirius was a Black and as Hermione understood it from Ginny who had explained once that her and Draco were distantly related Molly's family the Prewett's were related to the Black's also; which meant however distant that Harry was actually related to the Wealsey's.

When Hermione thought about the Weasleys, Blacks, Potter and Malfoys all being related it did make her realise how small a community the Wizarding world actually was. If all of these families were in some way related and were only to marry within the Wizarding community then eventually the numbers would dwindle so much that inbreeding would become an issue which she supposed accounted for the rising number of squibs. She smiled to herself, the wizarding world _needed_ muggles and muggleborns to survive; new blood that would prevent them from dying out altogether.

"What are you smiling about?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing Gin." She replied shaking her head. She was fairly certain that Ginny didn't need to know whether or not Harry was actually her relative, after all they were only very distantly related.

"You excited about your apprenticeship?" she asked as they boarded the familiar train.

"Nervous would be more accurate." Hermione murmured in response.

Author's Notes: If you would like to keep up to date with when the updates are going to be up or how everything is going etc. Then please join my facebook group Astarte Lydianna's Fanfiction Page. After the normal facebook page add the following /groups/523665654314569/


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Notes: Just a quick note to say thank you to everyone who has taken the time to leave me a review; I am really grateful. I wasn't holding out much hope for much interest after my last story (written on a different account as it was smutty as anything) flopped but to my amazement this story is miles more popular. I just wanted to let you all know I hope that you continue to enjoy the story and I'm very grateful to everyone for letting me know that they've enjoyed it so far.

Disclaimer: You may have got the message by now but I don't own it and I make no profit

Chapter Four

It was ten to eight in the morning, first day of term and Hermione found herself hovering outside Professor Snape's classroom not wanting to go in too early. The less than friendly potions Professor placed a great deal of importance on time keeping; if she was even a minute late she would be in trouble but if she were over one or two minutes early she would get a verbal lecture for that also. She waited until it was under five minutes until the hour before letting herself into the classroom and nervously and slowly crossing the classroom to his office door. She hesitated there for a further minute and a half until it was less than two minutes to the hour to knock the door.

"Enter Miss Granger." His voice called from the other side of the door. She opened the door and stepped inside shutting the door behind her before standing in front of the potion Master's desk where he sat going through some pieces of parchment.

"Good Morning Professor." She said quietly.

"Good you're on time." He nodded. "We have a lot to cover today as you will need to learn what your new role entails and what is expected of you as well as the fact that you are already short one term which means more effort on not just your part but mine also. Take care Miss Granger therefore to not waste any of my time with foolish questions or mistakes."

"Um...alright." she nodded.

"You would also do well to remember the most basic rules of potions Miss Granger and keep that unruly mass on your head tied back lest you wish to set fire to it." He frowned, handing her a parchment. She took it and before reading tapped her wand to her hair to secure it in a tight bun. If her hair was the only thing about her outfit that he needed to comment on then the rest of it was fine so that was a relief. "That is a list of the core syllabus that we need to cover for your Master's degree, you will do this by having sessions with me after evening meal Monday through Thursday and then a longer session on Saturday's from nine am until when I see fit to dismiss you."

"Yes sir." She nodded. He handed her another parchment which appeared to be a timetable.

"This is a timetable of all of my classes, you will be expected to be present for all lessons for all years fourth and below to assist in whichever way I find most use for you. Your other times are free for you to use as you please although I will expect you to find some time for you to work on your written work." He informed her. "If you are ready the first second year class of the year starts in under half an hour I would like you to supervise all the students in their brewing but you are not to say a word or interfere with a single student unless they are about to cause either harm to themselves or others or damage to school property. Am I clear?"

"Yes Sir." She replied. She opened her mouth to ask him a question but thought better of it.

"You can save your no doubt endless stream of questions for this evening's lesson." He said rolling his eyes and standing from his desk. "Follow me."

All in all her first lesson as an assistant wasn't bad, Professor Snape didn't shout at her once...granted she didn't exactly do anything for that whole hour either, save walk around the students desks watching but still not to be shouted at or insulted was a change.

She made her way over to his desk at the front of the classroom since the next lesson was sixth years so he would more than likely tell her to get lost.

"Which of these potions is the best?" he asked her gesturing to the vials on his desk. She lifted each vial out in turn before settling on one and handing it to him. "Correct, which attempts are close enough to be passable?" Hermione picked up three other vials and then frowned at the remaining ones. She found it hard to believe that out of eighteen students only four managed to brew an acceptable burn salve, two of the ones that were acceptable weren't even that great. "And now you see why I have so little patience for ones that clearly have neither talent nor the discipline for potion making. You may leave."

The dark Professor watched her leave and frowned at himself for doing so, he hadn't expect to notice the change in her so much. Of course growing up in a war tended to change one from a hand raising over eager eleven year old pretty quickly and since she had sacrificed her final year of school to go on the run with Mr Potter he knew that mentally she had changed; what he didn't expect was the physical change. Obviously he knew that she looked a great deal different from her first year, that was to be expected from all the students in their time at Hogwarts but the change from seeing her in school uniform and muggle clothes to seeing her in adult clothes was a big one. It almost seemed like she had aged by a few years since he last saw her which of course was ridiculous but that was the difference clothes could make. He shook his head he would just have to try and appreciate the fact that she could now act mature enough to not drive him completely barmy and try to ignore all physical changes, she was still twenty years his junior after all.

Lunchtime found Hermione sat in the Great Hall at the staff table feeling very awkward, she could see her friends all sat at the Gryfindor table talking and laughing as usual and she felt very left out. Obviously the staff had made her feel more than welcome and Professor Gideon Gilwing the new defence against the dark arts teacher was really quite charming but it just wasn't the same.

"Is Professor Snape as unpleasant in his classroom as everyone says?" Gideon asked her quietly.

"Professor Snape is less than pleasant to everyone I think but I wouldn't take it personally I think he just likes to keep everyone at a distance and keep to himself." Hermione replied.

"Which is why Miss Granger I do not care to be involved in idle gossip." A voice drawled from behind her as the very wizard passed them to take his own seat.

"No offence intended Severus; I was just asking Hermione here what you're like as a teacher." Gideon smiled good-naturedly. The dark wizard just grunted in response and proceeded to eat his lunch in silence. "So you're hoping to teach here Hermione?"

"Well, that's the plan...if I can finish my degree in time that is." She replied.

"The way I heard it, you're known for being quite brilliant around here? Top NEWTs scores in twenty years, that's quite an achievement." He grinned; Hermione flushed slightly and ducked her head. "The Headmistress seems very proud of you; did you know you were only two points off of the Highest NEWT score ever?"

"No...I haven't received a full breakdown yet, they're due any day now." She murmured thoughtfully, and then she frowned as she remembered exactly who the highest NEWT record belonged to. "I lost to you by two points?" She asked in disbelief, turning to face the silent potions master the other side of her.

"I fail to see how it was a competition but your potions score was five points below mine and transfiguration three points higher than mine so if what you are actually asking is whether my NEWTs score was two points high than yours then yes that is correct." He replied, not even glancing up from his food.

"Bugger." She breathed turning back to her friendlier dinner companion. "I hadn't actually considered beating him before now...but two points?! Unbelievable!" The young DADA Professor laughed at her serious pout and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"There, there Miss Granger." He consoled, although it looked like he was barely containing a laugh. "If it makes you feel any better you were a little busy during your seventh year saving the world and all."

"Yes I know." She sighed. "I really don't mean to sound so petty but two points?" She couldn't believe it; she'd have loved some way of wiping that smirk off of Severus Snape's face after he was always so cruel to her in his classroom. She sighed in defeat and then smiled again. "Ah well...I'll just have to try harder on my masters degree won't I?"

"That's the spirit." Gideon laughed. "Although considering that the person you're trying to beat is the one teaching you that may be a little optimistic."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve." She replied, tapping her nose. She glanced at the Gryfindor table again a bit longingly...the boys would know exactly what she was talking about. It was a secret but Professor McGonagall had given her back her time turner from third year, since she was trying to complete her master's degree in a shorter space of time than most and the Headmistress really needed a Potions replacement as soon as possible but she was under strict orders to only use it if she really needed to unlike her third year where she over used it to the extent that she pretty much did the whole year twice.

"Your friends?" Gideon asked, gesturing to the table Hermione was still staring at.

"Yes." Hermione replied simply with a smile. "I suppose I'd better go and get myself ready for next lesson. Excuse me Professor."

"Call me Gideon please." He assured her. "Good luck."

As Hermione made her way out of the hall and towards her rooms she heard someone running down the corridor behind her. She turned to see who was causing the loud and hurried footsteps to find Ginny stood behind her trying to catch her breath.

"What was that?" Ginny demanded.

"What?" Hermione asked looking confused.

"You and the hot new DADA Professor, that's what!" Ginny grinned. "He _likes_ you Hermione!"

"I think he was just being friendly Ginny. After all I was sat there looking a little lost and lonely." Hermione replied, brushing the whole thing off since the red headed witch did have a tendency to over romanticise things.

"You just wait Hermione; he likes you I'm telling you. I bet you that he asks you out before Valentines!" she winked.

"Yeah, like I have time to date." She snorted in response. "Shit speaking of time, I've got to go – you know how Professor Snape is about time keeping!"

She knocked on the classroom door hesitantly; it was about fifteen minutes until the lesson started but Professor Snape had told her she would be expected before the students...unfortunately he hadn't told her how early to be so she had just had to guess.

"Enter." His voice called. She did so and glanced around not knowing where he was. He stepped out of the ingredients store room and gestured to her to follow. "Once the students have gathered their ingredients to work with the storeroom will need tidying, after that go to my desk and start marking the tests that I gave the sixth years this morning. I am assuming that you should know the answers to a sixth year test but should you need reassuring there will be an answer sheet on the desk also."

The students filed in and Hermione happily handed them ingredients as they came to the cupboard and then proceeded to tidy the shelves and re-organise everything into their proper places. It didn't take long as she resisted the urge to completely re-organise the shelves since Professor Snape would more than likely have a fit if she did. Then she made her way over to the front of the classroom where he stood and glanced nervously at the desk – did he mean he wanted her to sit at _his_ desk to do the marking?

Hermione couldn't quite rationalise her hesitation to sit at his desk but considering how intimidating and private the man was it just seemed wrong.

"What are you waiting for Miss Granger; those tests are not going to mark themselves." He drawled catching her attention. She nodded and quickly moved behind the desk and sat at the chair. She found herself sat ridiculously low compared to the desk but didn't dare make any alterations and instead just sat up as high as she could and began looking through the students tests.

When the bell rang and the class was dismissed she didn't move from her position bent over an exam that she was halfway through marking.

"Would you like me to finish these last few since I'm nearly finished sir?" she asked as she placed the marked test on the finished pile. She looked up at him and he nodded abruptly, he looked like he was about to say something but instead turned and headed into his office and shut the door behind him.

In his office he couldn't help but smirk in amusement at the young woman who had looked so small and lost sat at his desk.

Author's Notes: So as you all may have gathered this is going to be a slow building story, it's going to be a fairly long one – perhaps even my longest yet. Hopefully you will all enjoy it none the less. There will be sparks between them later but these things don't happen over night


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter; neither the films nor books, I also don't own any recognisable places or characters and make not profit from writing this story

Chapter Five

For Hermione the first five weeks of term flew by, she was busy every single day and had already used her time-turner once. The only time she had used it was Sunday evening she was finishing an essay for her degree and noticed that it was already past midnight so she went back a couple of hours and went to bed to allow herself a couple of extra hours sleep. That was one of the downsides of having her own rooms. She had a small lounge area a bedroom and a small en suite bathroom; she loved having her own rooms for the most part since it meant her own space and peace and quiet to get on with her work as well as somewhere that her friends could all visit her in private also. The downsides were that firstly it was in the dungeons as she was the potions apprentice and secondly without anyone else around she tended to lose track of time and spend hour upon hour studying or working.

She had made some good progress on the written work for her degree already as she had her free periods and evenings to work on it, that being said she dreaded the end of the spring term when Professor Snape would take all her written work so far to go through it. Their private sessions weren't quite what she had hoped they would be – she had been hoping that she would learn so much but so far she had just been brewing potions that she already knew how to brew. He literally placed an open book in front of her at the start of a session with a potion to brew, unless of course she was still working on one from the previous evening and she would brew that potion in silence. He offered no instruction and no criticism. At the end of the session he would simply ask her to leave a vial of the completed potion on his desk and clean her station before leaving. He hadn't given her any indication of how she was doing good or bad; which was even more unusual since normally he loved finding a reason to tell her how wrong she was or insult her in one way or another.

"Incoming." A voice murmured next to her, moments before an owl dropped a letter in front of her that landed on ungracefully on her plate.

"As much as I appreciate being able to just send an owl any time of day any day of the week until muggle post there's something to be said for mail arriving through a letterbox." She sighed, wiping the scrambled egg off of the envelope. It was from Ginny, asking her to meet her at Hogsmeade tomorrow for lunch with the whole gang. She smiled; it wasn't often that the whole group managed to get together anymore.

"Boyfriend?" Gideon asked.

"No, Ginny Weasley." She replied.

"Oh..." he nodded looking thoughtful.

"Oh, No!" Hermione laughed realising he was wondering if that meant that meant she was harbouring same sex tendencies. "No boyfriend, no girlfriend; she just wants to know if I'm free to join a group of us that are meeting up tomorrow is all."

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry, you just had that sort of wistful smile on your face was all...that one women get when they're thinking about their fellas you know?" he explained sheepishly.

"Well I doubt you'll see me receiving any love notes any time soon, I frankly don't have time." She snorted. "That's why I'm looking forward to tomorrow so much; I don't have very much time for my friends at the moment."

"But you're apprenticeship is still going well?" he asked.

"I guess so...at least I hope so." She shrugged, thinking again about the Potion master's lack of input to her training so far.

"Chin up Hermione, don't tell me grumpy old Severus is turning you into another dungeon bat?" he chuckled. "What's up?"

"Nothing really." She admitted. "Honestly he's been civil the whole time."

"And this is a problem?" he enquired.

"He hasn't said anything bad, but he hasn't said anything good either." She cringed. "I know it probably sounds silly but it's just frustrating to not really have any idea how I'm doing."

"It's still early days, maybe he's still testing you, figuring out where you're at and what you need help with. The coursework you've done; has it been hard?" he asked thoughtfully.

"No, not at all," She shook her head. "Nothing I don't really know already so far."

"So maybe he's just letting you get through all of that nice and quickly first. It's all coursework so it has to be covered whether you already know it or not. I guess he doesn't see the point in teaching you something you already know." He suggested.

"Oh...I guess that might be it..." she replied, she put her knife and fork down and smiled up at her colleague. "Thanks."

Over the past month or so Hermione had come to enjoy the young defence professor's company, he had become a good friend considering the short amount of time that she had known him always managed to make her smile. She watched him leave with a smile on her face, she could definitely get used to working at Hogwarts.

On arriving at the potions classroom she didn't see Professor Snape anywhere so went to knock on his office door. When she received no answer she pushed the unlatched door open to check go through his office and knock on the door which she knew led to his quarters. She didn't even step over the threshold instead frozen in place at the sight of her Professor.

"If I wanted you to come in I would have responded to your knock, out!" he barked, slamming the door in her face with a flick of his wrist. If she wasn't completely stunned by the sight of her Professor she may have stopped to admire his powerful use of wandless magic. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't completely cover from head to toe for once that shocked her, and although the image of him buttoning up a white shirt across his stomach would definitely stay with her; it was the bandage on the right side of his chest that had gained most of her attention.

What had happened to him? The war was over...Voldemort had been defeated how had he managed to get hurt? She knew that the Professor was a good healer so if he was injured; why had he not healed himself? How badly was he hurt?

"Set up your work station as usual." He said coldly, entering the classroom now fully dressed as usual and startling her from her thoughts. She hurried to so as he asked and had to bite her lip from asking all sorts of questions that kept popping up in her mind. He placed an open book in front of her as he always did with a potion for her to brew, this time he hovered though looking as if he were deciding something. "I can see the questions bubbling so close to the surface you shall probably burst at any given moment, therefore on the condition that you will never enter my office unless instructed you may ask me _one_ question. Choose wisely."

"Will you be alright Sir?" she asked quietly, her eyes straying to the spot where the wound was.

"That is your question, not how or when, who or why?" he frowned, narrowing his eyes at her.

"They are all very good questions Sir but I think your wellbeing is somewhat more important, you said one question and that was my choice – you will be alright won't you, it's just it must be a rather severe injury if you weren't able to heal it yourself." She explained.

"Dark magic is harder to heal, much like you need to remove the poison from a bite before it can heal, and your magic needs time to kill of the dark magic of a dark curse before the wound will heal." He explained. "The same principle can apply to many dark potions Miss Granger so it is a useful fact for you to know. As you can imagine my body is more accustomed to dark magic than most, my own magic is tainted so it takes a lot longer for a wound inflicted by dark magic to heal without using dark magic myself to heal it. I will be perfectly fine in time Miss Granger so you need not concern yourself over it."

She nodded and turned to focus on her work even though there were more questions that she wanted to ask. Upon reaching the end of her potion she glanced up to her Professor again.

"Was there a second potion?" she asked, it was Saturday and she usually worked until mid to late afternoon on a Saturday allowing her to complete on potions that took longer than an hour or two but the simple one she had just completed took less than two hours. He crossed the room and turned the page of her book to another potion.

"This, for today you will be completing the first page of instructions only." he instructed.

"Sir, why didn't you go to Madam Pomfrey about your wounds?" she asked quietly, knowing he would most likely ignore her.

"I did for the original injuries, she is unaware that it has not finished healing and I wish it to remain that way." He grunted, his eyes locked with hers almost threateningly. "I trust that you can restrain yourself from interfering?" That was from the final battle?! Hermione's eyes widened impossibly as she tried to comprehend that the wound had still not healed nearly a year later. He turned to head back to his office and was nearly there before she worked up the courage to speak again.

"I could help." She offered. "I already know about it."

"You know nothing about it Miss Granger, allow me the penance I deserve to serve and keep your Gryfindor theatrics out of my business." He growled slamming his office door behind him. Hermione stared after him with one word echoing in her head...penance.

That answered the question of his loyalty once and for all; he felt guilty for his crimes and was punishing himself for them...how sad. She tried not to think of him as some tragic war hero knowing that he would hate to be thought of in that way but she was having difficulty not feeling sorry for him – he had given up everything for the cause and nearly his very life, not that he thanked her for saving it of course.

_~Flashback~_

_The three looked in horror at the sight of before them. The older wizard's breath came in ragged, struggled gasps as Harry knelt in front of him._

"_Go Harry quickly." Hermione said quietly, kneeling next to Harry and the gravely wounded man against the wall._

"_It's too late for him Hermione." Ron protested, as Harry got to his feet._

"_Snape wanted me to see this memory for a reason. I need to know what that reason is." Harry murmured._

"_Good luck." Hermione nodded, quickly standing to hug him tightly just in case something happened...to either of them. "We'll meet you back at the castle after wards." Harry nodded and left his friends behind. Another laboured breath came from in front of them and Hermione hurried to the side of her Professor._

"_And it's never too late to try." Hermione told Ron. "Anapneo!" Professor Snape let out a sudden loud gasp. "Ferula!" Bandages slowly wrapped themselves around the gaping wound. "Ron dig around in my bag, I need anti-venom. It's the purple vial."_

_Ron stood frozen to the spot for a moment before hastily rooting around in the bag Hermione had dropped on the floor by his feet. A moment later he tossed a small vial to Hermione. She carefully prised open the Professor's mouth and pouring in the anti-venom, her hand stayed over his mouth to stop him coughing it straight back out. _

"_I don't know if this is enough." She frowned. "Please work. Velnera sanentur, please work." Hermoine's words were now soft and pleading in an attempt to get the spell to work. "Velnera sanentur..."_

"_Bloody hell Hermione! Look!" Ron exclaimed, pointing to the dying man crumpled on the floor. Hermione's eyes snapped open and focused on her Professor. His chest was rising and falling evenly._

"_It worked..." she gasped._

"_Is he going to wake up?" Ron asked. "Because I vote we disappear before he does and goes stark raving mad!" _

"_I don't think the anti-venom I had is strong enough for this venom. He's alive but...it's like he's in a coma or maybe just passed out... We need to get him to the castle and get some stronger anti-venom." She replied. _

_A moment later a voice filled Hermione's head, when her frightened eyes met Ron's she realised that it wasn't just her. The Dark Lord's words washed over her, bringing with them a cold shiver along her spine._

_It was lies; even if Harry went alone to face him that rest of them wouldn't live. The 'Mudbloods' would be tortured and killed and with them anyone considered a traitor or anyone who wouldn't bow down to Lord Voldmort. _

"_We should get back to the castle while we can then." Ron spoke up._

"_Of course." Hermione nodded. "Mobilicorpus." Hermione and Ron made their way to the castle, levitating their Professor's body with them. _

_Once inside the castle the sheer scale of horror and destruction hit them. People wounded, people crying over friends and loved ones...people dead. Hermione's feet started to slow of their own violation as she spotted the Weasley family ahead of them. Ron ran ahead and was immediately pulled into an iron tight embrace with Molly and Arthur Weasley. Hermione saw him drop to his knees next to someone... Suddenly Hermione felt sick, tears stung her eyes...they were so naive to think that they wouldn't lose anyone that they loved. Well, they hadn't thought that they would come out unharmed but they just hadn't really thought about losing anyone at all. She didn't even know who it was yet and it didn't matter, they were all family to her after all these years and losing any of them would hurt. So far she could see Percey, Remus and Tonks that she recognised...she didn't really want to look around for anyone else yet, the battle wasn't even over yet she needed to stay strong._

_Suddenly she realised people staring at her and then she realised why. Everyone believed Professor Snape a traitor and a death eater and here she was bringing him into the castle. She didn't even know why she couldn't let him die...she just couldn't. Something inside of her felt like it would break if she stood and watched him die. Besides...why would he have been so concerned with Harry being alright and taking his memory if he were a complete traitor. She noticed Professor McGonagall pause in front of her._

"_Professor, we have to help him." She pleaded. "It's not right to let him die."_

"_This way." The Headmistress nodded. "Although knowing the sentence that will await him should he live, it may be kinder to let him die."_

"_He's not what you think." A voice called from behind them. _

"_Mr Potter." Professor McGonagall sighed in relief. "Thank goodness you're in one piece."_

"_He's on our side." Harry continued. "He's been helping us, the whole time...I was wrong about him, we all were."_

"_Mr Potter I don't think-"_

"_His memories and Dumbledore's own memories will prove it." Harry insisted._

"_Very well Mr Potter, I trust your word on it." Professor McGonagall nodded._

_A short while later Hermione stood with Ron and his family, still shaken from the loss of Percy, who as it turned out had died saving Fred's life. Next to them the bodies of Remus and Tonks side by side. It was a sorry picture. _

"_We all knew the risks but we're fighting for a cause dear." Arthur said, comforting his wife. "He very brave, it won't be in vain."_

"_Where's Harry?" Ron asked suddenly. Everyone looked around them._

"_Professor? Neville? Have you seen Harry?" Hermione called. Neville looked sheepish for a moment and then nodded._

"_He passed this way about ten minutes ago. I think...he said he wasn't but...you know Harry." The boy explained._

"_That irresponsible, arrogant boy! I'm going to kill him! How dare he?!" Hermione burst out. This drew the attention of everyone around them. "He didn't even...oh Harry!" Hermione and Ginny held each other as the truth sunk in. Harry had gone to the Dark Lord alone._

"_He said...something about a snake; that as long as we take care of the snake he'll take care of the last Horcrux."Neville explained._

"_He's going to die." Hermione whispered. "It's Harry. Harry is the last Horcrux...I was just hoping we'd find another way before this day came."_

_~End Flashback~_

Without Professor Snape's memories they wouldn't have known how to take down Voldemort for good. He had given up his freedom for a lifetime, he had committed acts that would forever damage his soul and nearly died himself...all for the greater good...and now after all that he was still miserable, still suffering.

Author's Notes: Sorry for the downer guys. Realistically though most of these people have seen a lot of death and they're still going to be suffering the effects of that. This story is going to show the characters gradually moving on from their past and their grief. I am so grateful for all of your support and really hope you can all bear with me through this fic, the rating will go up later by the way so please do be warned but that is quite some way in the future as there are so many exciting moments yet to come...well they're exciting in my head so I'm hoping they'll be exciting for you guys to read. Keep the feedback coming


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Notes: I actually don't really have anything worthwhile to say so on with the story!

Disclaimer: You know the drill people! I don't own anything recognisable! If I did I'd be able to afford a better laptop!

Chapter Six

Hermione smiled as she made her way up to the great hall that morning only to see couples exchanging gifts everywhere and the cherubs singing at the entrance. Fortunately the castle was decorated slightly less..."enthusiastically" than in previous years. Dumbledore has taken great delight in brilliant pink, red and white ribbons, banners, flowers and hearts everywhere. Minerva had opted to add some garlands of flowers and greenery throughout the castle but that was about all save the great hall. The cherubs flew at the entrance and some inside, inside she found more garlands and bunches of flowers as well as table decorations of white candles and red,, white and pink rose petals. Over all the decorations were a lot more tasteful in Hermione's opinion.

Ginny grinned up at her as she passed their table, in her arms a large bouquet of flowers.

"They're lovely Gin." Hermione smiled.

"From Harry, I got him sweets." She grinned back, gesturing to Harry and Ron tucking into Harry's chocolates. "Men are so easy to please." Hermione laughed as she made her way to her seat at the head table.

"Morning Hermione, happy Valentine's day." Gideon smiled, handing her a rose as he sat next to her. Hermione smiled and flushed as she placed the rose next to her plate.

"Thank you." She said quietly. She felt a little guilty having not got anyone a valentine's gift, she had just assumed that she wouldn't get one...after all she wasn't seeing anyone and didn't think anyone was interested in her. "You didn't have to give me anything."

"You said you didn't have anyone and no beautiful young woman should be left out on Valentine's day." He told her fondly.

"Tell that to every other year of my past." She laughed then stopped mid laugh suddenly feeling rather embarrassed. "You think I'm beautiful?"

"Of course." He chuckled.

"Thank you." She whispered, then on impulse she leant over and pressed a kiss to his stubbled cheek as a thank you.

She could tell it was Friday because all the students were already winding down ready for the weekend as they always did, not that she could blame them if she didn't have her session on Saturday's she'd probably be happy for Friday too...then again maybe it was Valentine's day cheering everyone up?

"If you aren't going to stop daydreaming and make yourself useful you may as well get out of my classroom." Professor Snape barked at her as the students filed out.

"Excuse me? I wasn't aware I was daydreaming at all..." she protested.

"You're just like every other wretched female in this castle on Valentine's day, head in the clouds thinking about whatever poor victim that was unfortunate enough to fall for their feminine wiles." He muttered. "It is not helpful to me to have you daydreaming in this classroom."

"I wasn't day dreaming! I don't have a man in my life to fall victim to my feminine wiles of which are in short supply I'm afraid!" she snapped. "Still if you think I'm not being of any use to you I'll go and leave you in peace."

"Professor Gilwing seems to be falling for them just fine like any other idiot male led around by his genitalia Miss Granger so don't play coy with me and don't lie. If you intend on spending the rest of your day fantasizing then please do keep your word and leave me in peace." He said firmly.

"For your information Gideon gave me a flower because he knew I had no one else to give me one and said no one should feel left out on Valentine's day! There was nothing more to it than him being a considerate friend and colleague! Maybe you are in dire need of receiving a Valentine's gift yourself to stop you being such an arse!" she screamed before storming from the room. As soon as she reached her private rooms and shut the door firmly behind her she felt her heart hammering and herself fill with dread. She had shouted at a teacher...a colleague and her Potions Master! She sank slowing down onto her sofa in horror, he could terminate her apprenticeship for that...and knowing Professor Snape her probably would.

Hermione didn't bother leaving her rooms for lunch or dinner, she didn't want to risk incensing Professor Snape any further any time soon. Maybe if she let him cool down he'd let the incident slide...it wasn't likely but it was the best that she could hope for.

Meanwhile her Professor was continuing his day as normal, although in a worse mood than normal meaning many points were lost by nightfall. He hadn't meant to get into a bickering match with the young witch but Valentine's day was just one of those days he hated more than most. It put all the students in a stupid mood and also served to remind him how never once had he actually had someone to celebrate the ridiculous holiday with. He wasn't overly bothered by that of course but sometimes he thought it would have been nice to have settled down with some witch...of course it was too late for him to do that now; he was too dark and bitter now for starters and would only make a woman as miserable and bitter as he was in the long run.

So of course seeing Miss Granger so young and with her life ahead of her being charmed by the Dark Arts Professor had ruffled his feathers in a "if I'm not happy, no one else is allowed to be either" kind of way. Also he thought that Professor Gilwing was an idiot, but he thought lots of people were idiots so that wasn't really relevant. Hermione Granger however wasn't an idiot and despite her other faults she could do far better than a slightly more intelligent version of Ronald Weasley...because that is what the DADA Professor appeared to be to him. Or perhaps a slightly less useless Lockhart?

Hermione received an owl from Ginny first thing the next morning, which was surprising because it was a Saturday morning and the day after Valentine's day so she had assumed that she would be having a lie in after staying up late with Harry last night.

'_Mione,_

_That's three missed meals, I'm officially worried! Professor Gilwing didn't know where you were and was worried too, so I just thought I'd warn you in advance that if you don't show for breakfast this morning McGonagall will be paying you a visit to check on you. If you don't come speak to me later, I'll be tracking you down myself. _

_Hope you're alright_.'

Hermione sighed, it was breakfast time and she wasn't dressed. She quickly pulled on yesterday's clothes as they were closest and headed up to the great hall to face her fate. If the Headmistress got involved it would only make things worse with Professor Snape when the time came and make everything into more of a big deal.

Harry caught her sleeve as she passed the table on the way to her seat and she realised not just Harry but also Ron, Ginny and Neville all focusing their attention on her.

"You alright?" he asked.

"I'll be fine." She nodded.

"Snape being an ass?" Ron asked with his mouthful, before choking on it causing Ginny to clap him harshly on the back.

"Ron, swallow then talk." Hermione chided. "I'll explain everything later guys...Gryfindor common room after dinner tonight?"

She made her way to her seat and avoided looking at the dark figure at the end of the table and took her usual seat. Gideon made conversation with her like always, it proved to be at least a partial distraction from the dark presence the other side of her.

"I'll see you later." He told her. "No more missing meals I hope."

"We'll see..." she murmured to herself, noticing that the miserable potions master was also leaving.

"You decided to join us today Miss Granger." Professor McGonagall commented.

"Sorry, I was...busy yesterday I lost track of time." She replied. "I didn't realise anyone would worry so much."

"I trust we can blame our dear Severus for your absence." The older witch said sagely. "Obviously he hasn't said a word and won't admit to a thing but he forgets how well I know him. What did he do?"

"Nothing worse than usual..." she sighed. "It was me really; I lost my temper with him and might have shouted a few choice words..." She was surprised when the Headmistress laughed out loud at her and stood from her seat.

"You're not the first and you won't be the last dear." She said reassuringly leaving Hermione to finish her breakfast. She picked around at her plate a little more before reluctantly glancing at the clock; she had to be in the dungeons ready for her private potions session in three minutes. She swiftly made her way there filling with dread a little more with every step...where was that Gryfindor courage when she needed it?

She made it into the classroom about thirty seconds after nine o'clock and went and stood behind her desk to wait for Professor Snape, if she was lucky he wouldn't even realise that she had been a tiny bit late. Sure enough he swept out of his office less than a minute later and said nothing of her time keeping instead placing the base potion she had created last weekend in front of her in a cauldron and then placing an open book next to it.

"Finish this." He told her abruptly before heading into her office again. Hermione wanted to speak up but didn't, if he was going to ignore yesterday than she would also. She glanced over the second and third page of the potion that she had started dubiously, she had never made this potion before and some of the steps towards the end looked fairly complicated. She shrugged to herself knowing that she could do little other than follow the instructions that she was given so she gathered her ingredients and began brewing.

Two hours later found her practically sweating as she tried to drop in the last ingredients in time with the stir patterns. She added the lavender oil a drop at a time as instructed and continued to stir in rhythm. The once the last drop had been added all that was left was to leave it on a low heat with continuous stirring. Her arms ached immensely by now and judging by her Professor's smirk as he occasionally crossed the room to his desk and back to his office he knew full well she was exhausted by now.

She noticed that he started to check on her more and more often towards the end of the potion and finally came to hover at his desk in the last fifteen minutes of it. Determinedly she continued and kept glancing at the potion to check that it looked how it was described in the book. It wasn't until she got a waft of the potions scent that she faltered in her stirring, it was at that point that she vaguely noticed her Professor creeping up on her but she didn't really pay him much attention as it was taking all of her concentration to keep stirring as her eyes fought to close themselves. She continued to stir with one hand and reached blindly behind her for her stool to sit on for the final minutes, as she reached for the stool a hand took over from hers in stirring the potion. Seeing Professor Snape take up the final four minutes of stirring she let herself flop onto the stool and sagged.

It would appear that the anti-insomnia potion was powerful enough to make her tired just from smelling it. She noticed her Professor turning the heat off and placing a lid over the cauldron to allow it to cool without the fumes affecting anyone before stepping away.

"Feel better?" he asked her arching an eyebrow.

"You knew that it'd affect me." She commented, realising that actually she did feel better. She felt more relaxed than she had in weeks, her arms ached a little and she was tired but she was so relaxed...physical work was obviously good for the soul.

"Of course, if you had been in a normal state of mind recently I would have forewarned you to breathe through your mouth only." He commented dryly.

"Normal state of mind?" she asked, she felt indignant and had meant for it to come out sounding more annoyed but she was too relaxed to fight.

"Clearly Miss Granger you are in need of a decent amount of sleep and some time to relax. Your attitude recently has been far from becoming of a young lady, even for a Gryfindor." He replied.

"But...you were mean to me, on Valentine's day...people are supposed to be nice of valentine's day." She pouted.

"In all your years Miss Granger have you ever known me to be nice to anyone for any reason?" he asked.

"I saw you being nice to a first year Slytherin once, he was crying...and it was sort of nice for you to tell me about my NEWTs when you didn't have to...so yes Professor you have been known on the rare occasion to be nice." She pointed out.

"I shall endeavour to try harder...the occasions you speak of must have been an oversight..." he told her causing her to laugh out loud.

"A joke Sir?" she laughed.

"That too has been known to happen on occasion." He murmured.

"Before you go back to your normal self which I'm sure you will..." she said quietly, staring at her hands. "Why haven't you taught me anything so far, you haven't marked anything or given me feedback...how am I supposed to know-" She stopped talking as he held up at hand to interrupt her.

"Did you need some form of instruction to help you brew the potions that you have covered so far?" he asked her, she shook her head. "And to your knowledge were they successful?"

" Well yes but-"

"Then why do you need teaching or feedback? If you are only looking for praise Miss Granger I would think you would know by now that I am not going to be giving you praise for completing a satisfactory potion that we both know you are already capable of brewing." He replied. "I am not here to satisfy your need for constant approval, I am here to teach you and teach you I will, we have nearly covered all of the more basic potions for your degree now and things will start to get more challenging but even so I believe that my role for the moment although I may now have to supervise a bit more due to the more complex and volatile nature of the potions you will be brew you should still be capable of brewing most of them from instructions with little assistance."

"So what will you teach me?" she asked.

"If we can cover nearly all of the brewing from instructions in this first year, then we can work on theories, experiments and researching next year and that is when I shall be teaching you. You may be capable of following instructions in books but you will find it harder when you have to think for yourself for once, improvise and create your own adjustments to existing potions perhaps create a whole new potion of your own. I have never thought you incapable at potions and that is why you always received acceptable marks, however your work was never inspired either, it lacked the intention and passion that makes a potion more effective and that is why you never received any praise in my class. After the summer Miss Granger I expect you to put down your precious books." He told her.

Hermione couldn't quite work out whether to be complimented or insulted, it was probably the most that he had ever spoken to her in one go. So Gideon was pretty much spot on with his assumption on Professor Snape's lack of feedback...interesting.

Author's Notes: So I'm hoping by now that this story has gained some interest, even if only a little. I know it's pretty slow going but bare with me this is going to be a long haul kind of story


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Since JKR only mentions a handful of students in Harry's year group and I imagine there would be at least a few more than this you will see OC's cropping up here and there in the lessons, none of these will be massive parts in the story so don't mind them that much Also I'm putting the rating up just to be safe as sex is mentioned from here on out, plus it'll get rather steamy later ;)

Disclaimer: The usual standard disclaimer...don't own it and don't profit from it

Chapter Seven

Hermione joined the other members of her Hogwarts year group as she did once a week every week in going to her Survival Skills lesson. Today's lesson was held in the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom which meant excitement for everyone as Professor Gilwing seemed to be a hit with all the students, young enough to be cool to male and female students alike and good looking enough to have most of the female ones paying rapt attention to every word. With the flick of his wand parchment flew in the direction of them and a sheet sat neatly in front of each student.

"Alright everyone, today's lesson is very important; it is the first of three sessions you will be receiving on sexual education. This area has always been left up to parents before but with Hogwarts being a boarding school we have decided that it should be included in the school syllabus." He announced. Giggling and chatting followed the announcement as was expected. "This first lesson will briefly cover everything; the next lesson will involve potions relevant to the topic and the last lesson will be a split lesson for which Madam Pomfrey will take all you lovely young ladies and answer any questions you may have and a male Healer from St Mungo's will take all you gentlemen to likewise answer any questions."

"Professor Gilwing can give me all the sex-ed he likes." Whispered Lavender.

"Hey!" Ron protested.

"Oh I'm joking!" she hissed. "He's just really fit is all."

"And only a few years older than us." Rhiannon Winters murmured.

"I heard he had a thing for you Hermione." Dean whispered nudging her with his elbow.

"No, that's just Ginny being overly romantic." Hermione replied. The group still managed to pay some attention to the lesson so far.

"A long time ago Hogwarts actually had chastity charms placed on it to prevent any underage witch or wizard from actually having intercourse but the only way the charm activated was by a wizard started to enter a witch before it took affect cause said wizard to lose his...ability to complete the act shall we say, they realised that the students could just be creative about their means of pleasuring each other. Also it tended to result in the students that turned of age in their last year feeling like now that they could they should and student pregnancies started to crop up and so the enchantments were removed." He explained.

Seamus waved his hand in the air and spoke up. "Does that mean that sex is allowed now?"

"Not exactly Mr Finnigan." The Professor chuckled. "Any inappropriate behaviour in the corridors or likewise public areas is forbidden regardless of whether you are of age or not, also in the case of shared dormitories we do not allow the boys into the girls dormitories and vice versa because even when both parties are of age it is not appropriate for the other members of the dormitories. However...if students are of age and happen to be lucky enough to have a private room then there is very little that we can do about it other than to advise students to stay safe. Once a student is of age we cannot technically punish them for the act itself, we can only punish them if them do it somewhere that they can be found because if a teacher can find them so can a wandering first year so it isn't appropriate."

"You are so lucky that you have your own room Hermione." Lavender pouted.

"Excuse me?" Hermione spluttered. "You guys seriously don't think that this means I'm going at it like a rabbit in my room?"

"You mean you have your own room and aren't even making use of it? How unfair is that?" Lavender snorted.

"Miss Brown, Miss Granger is there something you wish to share with everyone else?" Professor Gilwing asked his eyes glinting with humour; they knew that they weren't actually in trouble.

"Just that I want my own room." Lavender mumbled, causing most of the class and the Professor to chuckle.

"I'm sure you all do, after all you're all of age now." He said consolingly. "Unfortunately Hogwarts is a school not a hotel so I don't see every student having their own room any time soon. A word of caution to all of you though, especially those of you with muggle roots – in the wizarding world sex is not treated as casually as it is in the muggle world, whilst they have moved on from the times where sexual relations were strictly for married couples it is expected that you be in an actual meaningful relationship before engaging in intercourse. Casual bedroom habits are frowned on, more so for witches than wizards I'm afraid ladies but I think that tends to be more to do with the fact that a pregnant witch with no husband is rather obvious where as the responsible wizard shows no outward sign of his actions. Whilst times are changing I must stress upon you that waiting is always a good idea and being careful is an essential one, not just for society's sake but also for the sake of your futures and health, Yes, Miss Granger?"

"That's actually interesting, I've never heard of sexually transmitted diseases in the wizarding world, but in the muggle world there are literally posters in bus stops for them and adverts on television. Is the wizarding world not affected by them or is it something just not spoken about?" she asked.

"They do exist, but the lack of casual sex is the main reason that it isn't that common here. It does happen and there are a few forms, more than likely ones that have managed to be introduced via mixed blood couples but because going through several sexual partners is frowned upon here they don't really get the chance to spread." He explained.

"So you're blaming muggles?" she asked raising an eyebrow.

"Not at all, I could just as easily blame the wizard or witch that wasn't careful when having intercourse with them. There are of course the more questionable acts of Lord Voldemort's supporters against muggles to consider, many muggles were sexually assaulted and I can't see a victim being worried about informing her attackers of any possible risk to his health can you?" he countered.

"I suppose that does make sense...I hope that the assaulted women kept quiet on purpose actually." She replied coldly.

"Alright, enough of the gloomy talk, we've got a couple of fun activities planned." He grinned. "This is the one class you'll have with me when I will allow you to use as much dirty language as you like and have fun; we're going to play word association."

By the end of the class a good, fun and informative time had been had by all including playing with dragonskin's. Hermione had been surprised to learn of a wizard's equivalent to a condom and had been quick to ask all sorts of technical questions that had the other students staring at her in disbelief for being such a kill-joy. She had however done as instructed and practised putting one on her banana like everyone else before the boys started to inflate them and charm them into floating balloons.

Gideon caught her attention as the class started to pack up and gestured for her to come talk to him so as her classmates filed out she headed over to him.

"You know the girls will be fantasizing about you for weeks now?" she smirked.

"Even you?" he asked cheekily.

"No, not me." She replied flushing, "But I wouldn't take that personally I don't generally fantasize about anyone." She thought back to the beginning of the year when she had had a couple of dirty dreams about none other than Professor Snape, at least it had only been for a couple of nights and had then gone away.

"Come to dinner with me?" he asked seriously. Hermione's heart started to race, she wasn't prepared for that...they were friends weren't they? She thought back to three months ago when he had given her a rose for Valentine's Day...had he hoped for more since then?

"You're just asking me because I have my own room." She replied, brushing the whole thing off with humour.

"Hermione..." he started.

"I know, I know. I'm sorry; you just took me by surprise is all." She sighed. "Can I think about it? It's just...you're my closest friend on the staff and I really don't want to ruin that. It's not you honestly; I'm just not sure it's a good idea."

"Alright, think about it." He replied, reaching to take her hand. "But please do _actually_ think about it because I think it'd be worth a try."

"I promise to think about it." She agreed, making her exit. She spotted Ginny with Harry, Ron and Lavender just down the hallway waiting for her, she knew the Ginny had a free period now and that the boys had probably already told her that she stayed in the classroom after everyone else and really didn't want to face her until she'd had a chance to think for herself. Casting a quick disillusionment charm she made a dash towards the dungeons.

"I know you're there." She heard Professor Snape's voice just as she reached the entrance for her rooms. "Show yourselves, immediately."

"Morning Professor." She said, released the charm.

"Hiding from someone Miss Granger?" he asked looking mildly surprised.

"Yes." She replied simply, before disappearing into her rooms with no further explanation.

When Hermione sat down on her sofa in her rooms she couldn't help the girlish giggle that erupted from her lips, a boy...no a man wanted to take her out to dinner; a good looking and intelligent one at that! She sighed, if he wasn't already her friend and colleague he'd be perfect but the fact that not only was he her colleague but that he'd also become a very good friend made her reluctant to be anything other than friends. After all look how she and Ron had ended, they had tried to move to a romantic relationship and it had resulted in a huge row and them not talking to each other for two months. They had agreed to be friends again not long after starting back at Hogwarts to re-do their seventh year and they still weren't friends like they used to be, as much as they cared about one another and wanted to be friends it just wasn't the same – it was awkward and she feared it may never be the same again.

Did she really want that to happen with Gideon? He obviously wasn't the only member of staff she got along with but he was the closest to her age and the only one that she could say had truly become a close friend. The others were her old Professor's and although she was able to be friends with them she would never be able to let go like she could with Gideon, she felt comfortable putting Gideon in his place if need be for one thing. She frowned, she'd done that to Professor Snape of course but then she'd never been on friendly terms with him and doubted she ever would be.

There was a knock at her door and resigning herself to the fact that it was most likely Ginny coming to gossip she went to answer it. The red-haired witch came straight in and placed the room.

"Tell me everything!" she enthused.

"He asked me out." Hermione replied.

"I knew it! I told you he liked you!" she exclaimed excitedly. "When are you going out with him?"

"I'm not." She answered quietly. "Not at the moment, I said I had to think about it."

"I'm sorry..._what?!_" Ginny demanded. "_What_ is there to think about?! He's gorgeous and funny and a Professor and he _likes_ you!"

"I know." She sighed. "I didn't say no, I just said I had to think about it. I don't want to ruin another friendship by dating him. I have to work with him Ginny say we started dating and it went wrong a few months later; what happens next year when we have to work together, live in the same castle and our friendship is ruined? Do you not remember how bad it was with Ron?"

"I know...I still haven't forgiven him for some of the things he said to you." Ginny agreed. "Not that I blame him for the breakup of course or you for deciding that he wasn't making you happy but just some of the things he said...you don't say those kind of things to someone who is one of your best friends."

"Well, the past is the past now." Hermione shrugged. "But that's my point; I don't want to go around repeating my mistakes."

"I guess." Ginny agreed. "It's just...he's so gorgeous!" Both girls laughed at that and Hermione couldn't help but wish that she had met Gideon somewhere else, that they hadn't become as close friends...he really was the type of guy she was looking for.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's notes: I'm so excited that this fic is really gaining interest now! It's always disheartening when you see stories with way more reviews than you after only a few chapters and I try not to be jealous since they're only reviews but hey I'm only human! I know that I quite often to forget to leave a review myself when I'm caught up reading...especially on my phone. Bad me! Anyway we're heading towards 50 reviews which is really happy so thank you to everyone who has left a review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or the characters or anything else recognisable nor do I profit from writing this. If I owned it'd probably never have gotten finished lol!

Chapter Eight

Hermione flopped down onto her stool in frustration, this was her third attempt and her potion still hadn't worked...she followed the instructions exactly. She waited for her temper to fade slightly before crossing the room to Professor Snape's desk where he sat marking.

"Sir?" she asked. He raised his head and waited for her to continue speaking. "I need your help. This is the third time I've tried to brew this potion and I really can't spot what I'm doing wrong."

"Very well." He nodded standing and following her back to her desk to inspect her potion. "It appears to be stuck around...here." He pointed to a section in the book and she frowned.

"But I did all the steps after that, each time. I really can't spot what I'm doing wrong." She frowned.

"And you definitely added the peppermint leaves?" he asked, she felt her anger spike at his condescending tone but didn't let it show.

"Yes, definitely." She replied.

"Start over." He announced. She looked at him in disbelief and was about to complain before he cut her off. "I will watch you and stop you when I spot the mistake." Hermione agreed and cleared up the attempted potion ready to start again. It was a bit nerve-wracking brewing with the dark wizard watching her every move for a solid hour but as she neared the final steps he stopped her.

"Did I do something wrong?" she asked, looking up at him. Instead of him looking annoyed like he usually did he actually looked confused.

"The potion should have changed colour to a lighter lilac colour by now." He frowned. "And this has been the same with every attempt?" She nodded. "Something is wrong but it's not something you're doing in the brewing process..." Hermione was surprised by this and somewhat relieved. She watched as her Professor started inspecting the ingredients closely.

"You think one of the ingredients could be off?" she asked.

"I considered that but they all definitely seem fine." He replied. "Move." She looked a little startled as he practically shoved her away from her work station and began to set up the ingredients again. He said nothing else leaving her just stood watching him brew the potion. Her feet began to ache as she stood in silence just watching him and so she took a seat at the desk next to hers and continued to watch, she had to admit it wasn't as boring watching him as she had first thought that it would be...it was actually incredible to watch Snape looking so calm and relaxed as he worked. An hour passed and he said nothing at the point where he had stopped her before and continued to brew for the last twenty minutes before stepping back.

"It's not the ingredients." He said.

"Yours worked..." she stated, standing and seeing for herself that his potion appeared as it should.

"It's not something you're doing...I think it may be you." He told her. "Do you definitely have your wand on your person?" Hermione tugged her wand out from her sleeve and showed it to him "Very perplexing, my guess would be that it is something to do with your magic and often if the one brewing is young and doesn't have their wand on their person their magic isn't strong enough to create the potion, however you brewed the Felix Felicis last week without a problem which leads me to believe that it isn't necessarily a power level issue."

"So why can't I brew the Mater Optans?" she sighed, dropping back down onto the stool in defeat. Out of the corner of her eye she noticed the wizard freeze and turn to face her consideringly. She looked up at him and noticed that he looked a little uncomfortable.

"Miss Granger, I don't suppose that there is a chance that you may not have engaged in inter-"

"Oh my God, please do not finish that sentence!" Hermione exclaimed in horror, she felt her face heating up and immediately looked at her feet. "No I haven't. Does that make a difference?"

"I believe so, after all why would an innocent witch require a fertility potion? Traditionally Mater Optans used to be brewed by a young bride and her mother or mother-in-law if conception had not occurred by the first year anniversary of the marriage, although granted now most women just purchase a readily brewed form nowadays. I hadn't actually considered it until now to be a potential problem as none of the potions on the Hogwarts syllabus have that requirement and there are only very few Potion's Mistresses. I will need to write to another Master to check that my theory is correct and find out if there is a way around it." He told her. "You may clean your station and be dismissed for the day; if that is the problem then trying over and over will do neither you nor my potions stores any good."

"Sorry, sir." She said quietly.

"For not lowering yourself to the fumbling in darkened alcoves with the rest of your dunderhead classmates, I hardly think that I can fault you on that." He smirked. "However perhaps next time you could put your Gryfindor pride aside and ask for assistance a little sooner, rather than making the same mistake three times first?"

"Sorry, I just wanted to be sure. I didn't exactly want to give you an excuse to call me an idiot did I?" she replied.

"Quite." He murmured. "Off with you Miss Granger, enjoy a little extra weekend time."

Hermione said her thanks and quickly left for her rooms to change. She decided to track down Ginny and tell her about her embarrassing discovery. She pulled out a clean change of clothes, opting for her muggle jeans. As she tugged them on and fastened the button she watched herself in the mirror, it wasn't as if she hadn't had any offers – after all Gideon obviously seemed to fancy something about her...although she was a bit more cautious about meeting people nowadays since they could just fancy the spotlight that followed her just as it did the other members of the trio. She shook her head, Gideon wasn't like that. She pulled a long sleeved top over her head and smoothed it down, she prodded at her stomach; the past couple of years had taken their toll on her body and she now had a nice flat stomach...the downside was that her breasts had all shrunk leaving her feeling a little boyish. She had never been one to worry overly about her appearance but she was still a witch and every witch wanted to feel attractive every now and then.

Her only actual relationship had been with Ron, which had barely gotten off of the ground before it became clear that they wanted different things and it wouldn't work. So Hermione hadn't gotten around to anything more than a good snogging session that involved the beginnings of a good grope. She had shared a few more innocent kisses with Victor back in fourth year but they had merely become friends after that. Maybe she should give Gideon a chance...get this virginity thing out of the way so that she could get on with her apprenticeship, and after all Gideon was definitely the type of wizard that she was looking for.

She frowned at the thought of sleeping with him...he was good looking so why did sleeping with him seem so wrong to her?

She made her way up to the Gryfindor tower to search out Ginny; the Fat Lady was nice enough to grant her entrance even though she was technically no longer affiliated with any house. She entered the common room to the sight of Ginny Weasley flinging a chess set from the table and shouting at Ron.

"Why? Why do you insist on making people play you when you always win anyway?" She demanded. "It's a waste of my time!"

"Well it's not exactly my fault that I'm the best at it is it?" Ron protested.

"Good afternoon." Hermione smiled, joining them in the corner. "I'll play you in a bit Ron; you know that I can sometimes beat you...even if I'm not overly fond of Wizard's Chess. I just need to speak to Ginny about something first, privately."

Ginny led Hermione up to the girl's dormitory and they sat on her bed and Ginny looked at her expectantly.

"Well?"

"I just had the most embarrassing potions session ever." She replied. "Long story short, I can't brew a certain potion because I'm a virgin."

"What? That's definitely the reason?" the red head asked. "And in front of Snape?"

"Now you know why it was embarrassing, we couldn't figure out why it wouldn't work when I brewed it but did when he did it...he actually had to ask me? Can you imagine it Gin?! I had to actually admit to being a virgin in front of a Hogwart's Professor!" Hermione dropped her head into her hands in embarrassment. "I literally wanted the ground to swallow me whole!"

"You could just use this as a bit more motivation with Professor Gilwing." The younger witch grinned. Then her face turned to one of horror. "Oh Merlin no! That means you have actual proof that Professor Snape has actually had sex at least once in his life!"

"Oh God...I hadn't thought about that." She nodded. "Definitely an embarrassing moment for both of us to have to even think about the word sex in the same room."

"I wonder who it was..." Ginny mused.

"Why?" Hermione asked in complete shock. "Why would you want to know that? What difference does it make?"

"Just curious, I've never seen him with a woman nor heard anything about him with a woman besides..." Ginny trailed off.

"Harry told you?" Hermione asked.

"He told me everything, after the war when he had a bit of a breakdown...he told me not to tell anyone because Snape wouldn't want anyone knowing. The only other people that even had a hint of the information were members of the ministry in charge of his case, Harry and Kingsley pulled some strings to keep everyone quiet." Ginny explained. "I didn't know he'd told you."

"He didn't...but when he was dying he mentioned Harry's eyes." Hermione said softly. "Something about the way he said it just sounded like he cared a lot about her, we knew from Harry's occulmency lessons that he went to school with them all. I kind of pieced it all together myself; especially when Harry simply said he had joined the order as a spy for someone else's sake, that everything he did he did it because he loved someone. It would have been tragic if he had died, he spent our entire lifetime being miserable...playing a part. He never would have had a chance to be happy for himself." Hermione's voice wavered as she spoke.

"Hey, 'Mione what's wrong?" the younger witch asked, reaching an arm around her friend as a slight sob escaped.

"He was dying Gin...I know that there were other people lost in the war but I didn't have to watch them actually being attacked while hiding unable to help, watch them dying...when he was trying to talk to Harry it was like the last thing he wanted to see before he died was Lilly Potter's eyes." She cried.

"But you saved him Hermione." Ginny insisted, pulling back and staring straight into her face. "He didn't die; _you_ gave him a second chance."

"Ginny I didn't do much, I didn't save him – I just delayed his death long enough to get him to a properly trained medi-witch." She replied wiping her eyes. "Sorry about that, sometimes the memories just get a bit much."

"No need to explain, I have off days too." Ginny smiled. "Wanna go beat Ron's sorry arse at wizard's chess?" The girls both laughed and made their way back down to the common room. Hermione felt a like a small weight had been lifted off of her shoulders, she had days like this every now and then; days when she all of a sudden a memory would force its way to the front of her mind and she would be overwhelmed by emotions. Once she let them out a little bit she would feel a sort of relief for a little while.

At the end of the day the fallen weren't the only victims of the war that took place nearly a year ago...although of course Hermione was grateful to still be here - everyone who had taken part and even people who hadn't had been affected in some way, but they still had to get up every morning and get on with their lives...living with the burden of knowing that it was little more than chance that allowed them to continue living rather than their fallen friends, family...

They were the walking wounded with scars both physical and mental...and not even the shiniest medal would cover the marks that would remain for the rest of their lives.

Author's Notes: I know what a downer to end on! Sorry! Also I forgot to mention if anyone has any suggestions on HP fics especially HG/SS pairings for me to read then please mention them in either review or pm. I'd love to read them! And don't forget to look up my facebook group if you want to keep up to date with what it happening with my stories and when and any extras like banners, videos etc. I'm pretty sure I'm the only Astarte Lydianna on facebook so you should find me no problem!


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Notes: OK, so just because I'm thrilled that this has hit 60 reviews this weekend most of those for the last chapter I've driven myself to tidy up this chapter ready to be posted and post it. Wow guys! I'm so glad you're enjoying it! I love hearing that people are enjoying my writing and it really encourages me to keep banging out these chapters! Unfortunately I doubt I will have any time to update before next weekend now but I will try my best.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, I don't own the characters, places or anything else recognisable and make no money from writing this.

Chapter Nine

The class lined up outside the potions classroom chattering speculatively, it was their second class on sex education and it was with Professor Snape, needless to say everyone appeared to be torn between humour and horror. Hermione wasn't quite so badly affected by the surprise, not after the events of Saturday where they had come across her problem.

"You know he probably hasn't even _had_ sex." Ron murmured to Dean. "I mean who would do it with him?"

"Ron! You should know by now that he'll be along any moment to hear whatever you're talking about and punish you for it! How about you finally realise that and keep your thoughts to yourself!" Hermione hissed at him. She couldn't help but think back to her problem potion knowing for a fact that Professor Snape had indeed had sex at least once.

"She has a point; he does always seem to hear us. We're already losing to Ravenclaw this year we could do without losing any extra points." Harry agreed. "We should save it for when we're not being listened to."

"How correct you all are." A voice came from behind them. "Into the classroom, take a seat and sit in _silence_!"

"See." Hermione shrugged as they headed into the classroom.

"No one likes a know-it-all Miss Granger, you may be a member of staff but silence does apply to you also while in this classroom." He told her as he swept past them all to the front of the room. It was times like this that she was grateful she couldn't lose any house points. "Now, I'm sure by now you have all realised that this will be your second lesson related to sexual intercourse however before you all start your incessant babbling I would like to inform you that this lesson is directly related to potions. We will be covering the potions and charms used to prevent the unwanted conception of more dunderhead spawn."

All of the interest and excitement seemed to deflate from the room as the class sat at listened to him speak. All except for Hermione who was curious to find that his voice discussing the topic of sex, even in the most technical terms was somewhat erotic...that was surprising...

"You all will have been told and will continue to be told that the only way to prevent the spread of potential disease as well as procreation is in the form of a Dragonskin, however the most common method of contraception used by wizards and witches is the Obice potion. This is the witches' variation of the potion which is most commonly used, there are other variants on this potion although most witches use the standard weekly potion to regulate the reproductive cycle and prevent conception. There is also a charm that can be placed on the witch prior to intercourse which you will be shown in your next lesson; however this method is the least reliable. There is also another potion; the Duratus potion is for wizard's to use prior to intercourse but must be taken at least thirty minutes prior and only lasts for between twenty-four and thirty-six hours so this is less commonly used." He continued. Hermione found herself wondering about which method of contraception she would prefer; she knew that the Obice potion contained nightshade which she was allergic to so taking it would more than likely make her ill. So she raised her hand. "What a surprise; yes Miss Granger?"

"Do all the variants on the Obice potion use nightshade?" she asked.

"Most, but not all. As a potions apprentice Miss Granger, if you feel that you need to have a breakdown of every ingredient in every potion then perhaps wait until your own potions lesson. I'm sure the class would like to at least get one potion brewed today." He replied. After he spoke some more he handed out two piles of parchment, one for the wizard version and the other for the witch version. "Begin."

Hermione gathered her equipment and returned to her desk to check the ingredients list when she realised that Professor Snape who had already begun stalking the room was stood at her station. He placed a piece of parchment on her desk. Hermione looked at it, taking in the handwriting she could tell that he had written it by hand but it was dry so it wasn't something that he had written today.

"Try this." He told her before smirking. "For when you do decide that you need it of course."

Hermione felt the heat rising to her face at his comment but dared herself to look him in the eye, he actually looked more amused than anything...was he _teasing_ her?! She shook her head in disbelief and focused on her potion.

"Place your labelled vials in the rack on my desk now please and clear your stations." Professor Snape called out forty minutes later. Everyone did as instructed and returned to their seats, itching to be dismissed. They weren't quite that lucky yet. "There are other potions relevant to the subject at hand, none of which will be brewed today or hopefully by any of you on Hogwarts grounds. I'm sure you are all familiar with the well known lust and love potions used to make a person attracted to another so I'm sure you'll agree that discussing them is a waste of time. Besides those for a wizard there are two main draughts that you may come across; the inflation and deflation draughts...I am certain the many of you could do with a good deflating draught to cool your ardour so that I do not have to catch you hiding in corridors and classrooms after dark." There were a few sniggers at that but no one dared to actually laugh aloud or comment. "For witches there are potions and salves to aid arousal, to lubricate and to heal. Yes Mr Finnegan?"

"Doesn't a lust potion pretty much to the same thing?" he asked.

"I suppose it has many of the same results, however the intent is different. Potions to aid arousal usually means nothing more than heightening ones senses so that they will be more receptive to the stimuli around them. Most lust and love potions are either illegal or frowned upon because they actually affect the will of the person consuming them, giving a witch a lust potion can be seen as a worse crime than rape Mr Finnegan, does that answer your question?" he replied coldly, the boy visibly swallowed and nodded.

Everyone seemed very eager to leave the classroom upon their dismissal; Hermione however loitered and headed over to Snape's desk knowing that after the fifteen minute morning break it would be second year double potions.

"Did you create that potion?" she asked, watching him preparing the classroom for the next class.

"I did." He confirmed. "I trust your question was more curiosity than as an indication that you plan on sacrificing your virtue in the name of your potions degree?"

"I did contemplate that but no Sir I wasn't planning on losing my virginity just so that I could pass my degree, not at the moment anyway." She replied, surprised at how easily she was able to speak of it. Then again she supposed that after a class based on sex it didn't sound so out of place. "When you mentioned the variables I just had a thought was all, I'm allergic to the usual Obice potion."

"You know this for certain?" he asked curiously, again she was surprised at the ease of the conversation but she realised that he wasn't even thinking of it in terms of sex...she could see his brain working so his interest was purely academic.

"I was um...offered it for other reasons but it didn't agree with me." She replied awkwardly. Madam Pomfrey had suggested that she take it to help with her heavy periods, but she didn't feel the need to elaborate.

"You're allergic to nightshade." He murmured. "That's very unusual...I've only ever seen it once before which is why I tried to create a variant that didn't use nightshade in the first place."

"Yes Madam Pomfrey did say it was unusual and that she'd only seen it once or twice before. She said that my magic reacts badly with it and tries to fight it off like an infection and therefore if I ever wanted to use the potion as a form on contraception that it wouldn't work." Hermione explained. "I did assure her that I had no need for it at the time, she was so concerned she nearly had me taking a pregnancy test until I explained how serious I was."

"The variant potion won't do anything for your other problem, it's just a contraceptive." He told her. "It would be some interesting to know why your magic reacts that way to it...I tried to convince Molly to be an experiment for me before but she didn't seem impressed by the idea."

"Mrs Weasley?" she asked in surprise.

"How do you think she ended up with so many children?" he smirked. "The potion didn't work and because it's not a common problem no one even realised it could have been due to an allergic reaction to one of the ingredients. When I overheard the problem in conversation once I decided to investigate and created the variant which was fortunately successful."

"So allergies aren't common for witches and wizards?" she asked thoughtfully.

"No, not common at all." He replied. "Strictly speaking it's still not an allergy, it isn't your body's immune system or anything that is causing a problem it's your magic. Perhaps an experiment for after the summer?"

"You want to experiment on me?" she frowned.

"Don't you think that it would look rather spectacular on your potions coursework if you were to work on something completely original?" he asked raising a brow.

"I'll concede your point I suppose." She smiled. "What are they doing today?" She gestured to the class now lining up outside at the doorway.

"Burn Salve." He replied. "You are going to lead the class today; I am going to put together the third year test."

"I what?!" she asked, turning to stare at him with wide eyes.

"You heard me." He repeated, marching over to the doorway. "I expect you all in your seats facing forward and in total silence ready to pay attention in the next fifteen seconds." With that he spun on heel and strode into his office his robes billowing after him and the door slamming loudly.

Hermione gaped at the office door...he had left her? Was he even _allowed_ to just leave the students under her supervision? The students looked as confused as she did, their gazes flicking between her and Professor Snape's office door nervously.

Hermione stared down at the open potions class book on the desk at then looked back up at the class. Alright...she could do this...she hoped.

"Turn to page eighty-six of your books please." She spoke up. The class did so but she noticed them beginning to chatter quietly among themselves, she made a point of ignoring that for the moment because they were bound to be as confused as she was. "Today you will be working on a basic burn salve; does anyone here know anything about it?" No one raised a hand instead the students began to chatter among themselves even more. Losing her temper a little at their lack of respect she raised her voice. "I take that to mean that none of you know about it; which means it would be more productive of you to actually listen!" Stunned silence followed and one hand rose.

"Excuse me but you are Hermione Granger aren't you?" one girl asked.

"For the purposes of the classroom you should address me as Miss Granger but that is correct." She replied.

"Where's Professor Snape?" a boy asked.

"Busy, in his office." She replied bluntly. "Is that a good enough answer for you or would you like to go and ask him yourself?"

"No Miss." The boy replied quickly shaking his head.

"Right so now that your momentary lapse in behaviour has passed let us continue with the lesson." She smiled. She began to explain the burn salve uses and properties as well as the ingredients and brewing process. "Now, if the left half of the room could go and collect their equipment first the right side of the room may go and retrieve their ingredients." The class did so and once they had returned to their desks she told them to swap. Once every table had both equipment and ingredients she told them to begin.

The lesson seemed to go quite quickly after that with admittedly some poor attempts at the potion but no catastrophes. When they began to chatter she told them to be quiet and concentrate or she would immediately deem their work a failure and send them to Professor Snape's office to explain why they had failed today's lesson.

When it was approaching time to pack up she had the class split in half again, half to return the equipment and half to label their jars of valve and bring them to the front.

She glanced at the clock and when she realised that it was two minutes after dismissal time she assumed that Professor Snape would not be returning to dismiss the class so she dismissed them. She breathed a sigh of relief once the last student had left the class and turned to look over the students work only to let out a yelp of surprise as she spun to face the dark Professor.

"God I really don't know how you do that." She gasped.

"Teach a class?" he enquired.

"No not that, I imagine that just takes practise I mean creeping up on people so silently – I didn't even hear you open your office door. Did you do that smoke thing again?" She clarified.

"No." He replied bluntly. "I am surprised Miss Granger, you actually did an acceptable job for your first attempt...although you will not always be able to threaten your students with sending them into my office." He told her honestly glancing at the jars of burn slave on the desk.

"I don't see why I can't just threaten them with you anyway...Professor or not you are pretty terrifying to students...and most adults also." She grinned. "You didn't have to throw me right in at the deep end though."

"Really?" he asked. "Why ever not? I must admit I was expecting you to be banging on the office door within fifteen minutes."

"I thought you might have expected that so I decided that whether it all went to hell or not I wouldn't knock on your door...unless there was an explosion or something I suppose..." she replied.

"I would have interrupted if you had so little control over the class that the students were in danger. I charmed the door one way; I could see and hear the entire thing." He smirked.

"Slytherin." She mumbled.


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Notes: Wow! To everyone who took the time to review THANK YOU! A huge thank you because it's really encouraging to read! In fact you can all have virtual brownies and sweets! I'm hoping you'll continue to enjoy this story as it progresses, there is soooo much still to happen! A couple of people have mentioned errors in this story, it isn't beta'd. Both my beta and I are very busy at the moment so it will be done at some point but for now I just hope it's legible enough for you to read it. I've have a crazy week with my youngest learning to crawl -_- now I have to watch her like a hawk as well as my son!

Disclaimer: It being I am sure you're all well aware that I don't own Harry Potter or anything else that belongs to the franchise etc. And that I make no money from this...unfortunately! How awesome would that be though?

Chapter Ten

Hermione found herself reflecting a couple of days later that the day of her second sex education lesson had been the most that Professor Snape had ever spoken to her in one go. When he had spoken to her about her attempt at teaching it had been the nicest he had ever been to her and the most like an adult he had ever treated her. It was actually a shame that he had barely said two words to her since but she didn't bring it up for fear of irritating him into never talking to her again. Not that he had been horrible to her since she had become his potions apprentice; actually he'd been pretty civil...or as civil as Severus Snape got anyway but he didn't exactly talk to her nicely either.

Basically he had been saying very little to her and doing the bare minimum of communication to get her through her master's degree. However for whatever reason on that day he had spoken to her much more freely and nicely than he ever had done before and liked it. It had been nice to be able to talk to him on a more intellectual level, closer to equals. Now it was back to normal...he was avoiding all conversation with her and keeping his distance.

"Hermione, you should eat something you missed dinner last night." The young DADA Professor next to her said nudging her gently.

"Sorry, Gideon...I've been so busy lost in thought these past few days." She apologised.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked. Hermione considered it, would it really be so bad to give Gideon the chance that he asked for...to confide in him...

"Not really." She sighed. "It's not that I don't want to talk to you about it, it's just that I think if I start talking about it I might not be able to stop and I can't afford that kind of breakdown until at least Friday evening." He chuckled at that. "...maybe on Friday evening we could wander down to Hogsmeade and I can talk your ear off then?"

"Really?" he asked seeming surprised. "I just assumed..."

"I'm sorry about before, it was rude of me." She said quietly. "You're a great guy I don't know what I was being so worried about."

Hermione cleared the workstation and glanced up at Professor Snape who stood stocking the shelves of his ingredient's store room. She caught him rubbing at his chest with a slight wince and wondered if that was still due to his injury.

Her potion had gone near perfectly from what she could tell but she certainly didn't feel like testing it. Who was stupid enough to test veritiserum just before going on a date?

"Is that all Professor?" she asked him.

"I suppose, since you are so eager to leave." He replied, without turning to look at her.

"Are you alright Professor?" she asked, noticing he sounded just as miserable as usual but with fat less bite. He turned to look at her.

"I'm fine Miss Granger, enjoy your evening." He replied evenly.

"Do you want me to help you finish that up?" she asked, walking over to him and noticing how much there still was to do.

"Go." He told her firmly.

"If you're sure, I'll see you tomorrow Professor." She said softly.

Once in her rooms she quickly showered and changed before heading to meeting Gideon at the castle entrance. He greeted her warmly and they started the trek down the grounds towards the small village.

"So what's been on your mind; apprenticeship getting on top of you or just Severus being an old bat as usual?" he asked, dropping his arm over her shoulders.

"Just the amount of work I suppose...and he's not an old bat really you know?" she replied. "I miss my friends, I've always been into my studies so I didn't think this would be any different but...after a year out of school travelling together in a tent; not seeing them every day, not talking to them it's really weird."

"That's understandable." He agreed. "Are you going to see them this weekend?"

"On Sunday I hope to spend some time with them." She sighed. "They're blaming everything on Professor Snape being a git too...but he actually isn't that bad Gideon. I mean obviously he isn't a barrel of laughs but he certainly isn't as bad as everyone thinks."

"Got a soft spot of for the old guy eh?" he asked.

"I prefer to think of it as opening my eyes a little to look at the big picture and stop judging books by their covers...I read a lot of books and believe me the contents are usually far more interesting than the covers." She laughed. "After all almost everyone thought he was a true death eater for a long time and look how that turned out."

"You feel guilty for judging him?" he asked.

"A little I suppose...but I was always a little confused by the events that happened. Harry recounted the events of that night over and over but that one thing that bothered me was that he made Harry keep quiet and hide. If he was truly evil he would have captured Harry and killed Dumbledore in one swoop – after all there were plenty of other death eaters there to assist." She explained. "I always thought that perhaps even if he was a death eater that maybe he hadn't meant for things to go as far as they did...Sirius and Remus explained some things about the first war to me once. Apparently Tom Riddle was a very good speaker, very good at rallying people together and promising the earth...with that kind of influence why wouldn't a teenage boy with no friends be lured in by the promise of power and a place to belong?"

"I agree with that I suppose...but he still made the choice. I'm a firm believer in making your own choices and from the sounds of Harry Potter's history he could have made a lot of poor choices himself but didn't." Gideon pointed out.

"Yes...I suppose." She agreed. They walked the rest of the way in silence and he held the door of the pub open for her before they ordered drinks and took a seat. They talked for a good few hours before Hermione realised that it was nearing midnight. They parted ways at the entrance after he caught her by surprise with a kiss goodnight. She was nearly at her rooms when she heard a voice behind her.

"Miss Granger, I do hope that this late night will not affect your work tomorrow."

"Of course not Professor, have you ever known my work to suffer after a late night studying?" she asked. He looked thoughtful then frowned as he seemed to come to a conclusion.

"In fact you are correct; I haven't ever known your work to suffer; even when you took all twelve owls...a pretty impossible feat." He said slowly, Hermione swallowed thickly under his gaze; Severus Snape was not a stupid man...he had guessed her secret.

"Well, you know me." She said weakly.

"I do not know where you got it Miss Granger and I do not want to know." He told her. She didn't reply and made to keep moving. She felt his hand grasp her wrist and stop her. She turned back to him dreading what would follow but he didn't look angry and his grip on her wrist loosened so she didn't feel threatened at all. "I trust I do not need to remind you of what you already know, but be careful Miss Granger. You do not want to continue down this path until you are unwittingly a decade older than your classmates...someone will notice." She didn't know what to say, should she continue to deny it or just agree with him? He was an intelligent wizard, one of the most intelligent people she'd ever met...and a Slytherin so the chances of convincing him that she didn't know what he was talking about were very slim.

She slid her arm so that his hand was in hers rather than around her wrist and squeezed it firmly.

"I'm always careful." She said quietly. "Thank you." She turned and quickly headed to her rooms before anything else could be said. She closed the door behind her and pressed her back against the door, her heart was racing, her hand was warm and her cheeks flushed...all from touching Professor Snape's hand? What was she twelve?! She shook her head and thoroughly chastised herself before getting herself into bed. She didn't use her time turner tonight; she figured that she would have just enough hours sleep without it.

She stared up at the ceiling from her bed and thought about her evening with Gideon, he was perfect for her. He was a great friend, they got along well together and she was able to have intelligent conversation with him...he was gorgeous of course and a capable wizard. So why did it feel like she was trying to date Harry? There wasn't a starting attraction or spark, she didn't instantly fancy him which meant that chemistry was lacking but she mentally chided herself for that thought also; chemistry wasn't the most important thing in the world. Besides what was to say that the chemistry wouldn't come later? They had only spent one evening together so it was far too early to be picking holes.

Morning brought Hermione more confusion as for the first time since the beginning of the school year she dreamt about her potions Professor; when it had been Gideon that she had kissed the night before. It felt so wrong to dream of someone else.

She dug around in her clothes and reluctantly pulled on the clothes that she had brought for her potions apprenticeship. The clothes in the wizarding world; whilst a lot of them were pretty, were usually a lot less comfortable than muggle ones. On her Saturday mornings she longed to just pull on a pair of jeans or leggings and a baggy jumper but instead she found herself pulling on stockings, her below the knee length skirt and blouse, as well as her jacket that buttoned all the way up to her neck. The skirt and jacket were made of an itchy wool material that had driven her crazy to start with but after the Hogwarts elves had washed them a couple of times the itchiness had faded.

She made her way down the hall to the potion's lab fixing her hair into a bun as she entered and placed her notes on worktop.

"That was cutting it rather close Miss Granger." A voice called from the storeroom. "You are in fact a minute late."

"Forty seconds actually." She replied. "If you actually want to know it's because I pulled a ladder in my stocking while putting it on and had to find another pair since they are too delicate to be fixed well with magic." It was a total lie but it was one she had used before since talking about something in detail that would bore men usually worked.

"Spare me the details Miss Granger, perhaps a favour in place of your lateness?" He enquired, placing an empty flask on the worktop. "A blood sample perhaps?"

"For experimenting on me?" she asked, lifting the flask.

"No, that will be for after the summer. This is just for ingredients." He smirked. Hermione's mouth twitched as she held back a laugh.

"Of course; virgin's blood." She nodded. "I should've known that you would find some way to exploit me."

"Now, now Miss Granger I'm simply taking advantage of a free source of a rather hard to obtain and expensive ingredient." He replied. "Exactly how many pure witches of age do you think wander around offering themselves up for ingredients? It certainly puts the price of such an ingredient up considerably."

"I didn't offer, but since you asked so nicely." She snorted, eying the flask nervously. "Knife?" He handed her a clean silver blade and she took it hovering it over her palm before changing her mind and moving it to her wrist. If she was going to fill the flask it would be easier from her wrist. With a quick cut she dropped the knife onto the worktop and held the open wound over the flask so that the blood dribbled into it.

As the blood slowed down he took the flask and corked it before taking her hand in his and hovered his free hand over the wound. Hermione glanced up at his face in surprise as the skin quickly knitted itself back together without him uttering a word or using his wand. He said nothing and simply dropped her hand before going to place the flask of her blood in the stockroom.

"Thanks." she mumbled shyly as he headed over with a piece of parchment.

"With the exception of the Mater Optans this is your final compulsory potion. You will need to come back tomorrow morning to complete the final steps but since it is your day off you may leave tomorrow as soon as you have finished it." He told her.

"The Mater Optans potion...what am I going to do about that one?" she asked.

"We can leave it for the time being, perhaps by the time we get to our last few months it will no longer be a problem, I've written to several of the master's and to the potion master's guild themselves to ask what to do in such a situation." He explained. "We can forget about it for the time being and focus on other things."

"So if this is my last potion does that mean that we're starting the experimental stage sooner than planned?" she asked hopefully.

"You still have more written work to do and an exam so not quite." He replied leaving her to do her work. She smiled to herself; she was catching up.


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Notes: THIS is one of the moments you guys have been waiting for! The exit of Proessor Gideon Gilwing! I hope you all enjoy!

Disclaimer: The usual disclaimers apply!

Chapter Eleven

It was the last day of term and Hermione had seen off her friends over the past few weeks, as they finished their exams. The rest of the students had left this morning and only staff remained, as well as a few students; which was what seemed unusual to her, students never stayed at Hogwarts during the summer. It was only after she realised that all of the students had been Slytherin, that she began to realise why there were still students at Hogwarts. So many deatheater's had been killed in the battle and almost all of the ones caught were kissed or sat in Azkaban Prison...these students had no home to return to.

"Hermione, you still on for tonight?" a voice called from behind her. She turned and saw Gideon heading towards her. They had been trying to go on a date once a week but still keeping it fairly casual. She didn't want to rush anything and ruin their friendship but had been trying to give him a chance.

"I have a meeting with Minerva this afternoon, so shall we meet at the pub at about six?" she asked.

"Don't you want me to wait for you?" Gideon frowned.

"No, that's alright; it'll still be light at that time." She smiled.

"I guess I'll be there to walk you home when we head back in the dark." He nodded. "Alright, I'll meet you there."

"Tea Hermione?" the Head Mistress offered.

"Please." She nodded, taking her seat and offering her greetings to the Dumbledore's portrait as she passed.

"How is the apprenticeship going?" the older witch asked.

"Good I think." She smiled. "I'm staying most of the summer to finish up as much as I can, so that come September I can dig straight into the practical experimentation."

"And I trust Severus is being nice?" she enquired.

"Yes, I suppose he is being relatively nice..." She replied thoughtfully.

"Don't sound so surprised my dear. Severus, although he doesn't show it; can actually be quite charming when he wants to be...although I'm sure that I am just one among many that can attest to the fact that it is rare for him to do so." Minerva smiled. "After speaking with him last week, we decided that we would like to offer you a position next year; not just as an apprentice in terms of your degree, but as an employed assistant also."

"Employed?" she asked, her eyes widening in shock. She got an allowance from the ministry for being on an apprenticeship but being paid would be a huge bonus.

"Precisely.," The Head Mistress nodded. "With all the extra time it'll take Severus to complete the harder portion of your apprenticeship with you next year; he won't have as much time on his hands to brew the potions for the infirmary, gather the ingredients and various other jobs that he does. Therefore we decided that since you are more than capable and will be taking over his job in a year's time anyway that we would offer you a paid position. Your duties will be to assist Severus and perhaps even Pomona in the growing and harvesting of some of the ingredients, if you're interested of course."

"Interested? I'm honoured." Hermione beamed.

Overall fifteen minutes later Hermione left her meeting walking on air.

By the early hours of the morning, Hermione wandered back up to the castle tucked against Gideon's side, laughing about the game of darts that they had attempted and that she had failed epically at.

"It's late; I'll walk you to your door." Gideon offered, placing his hand on her lower back and guiding her down towards the dungeons. It was nice that he usually walked her to her door after their date nights; she liked the chivalry he sometimes showed her.

"Thank you for walking me, I'll miss you when you leave next week you know?" she told him. "Who will I have to keep me company at meal times?"

"You shouldn't stay here for the holidays, come back with me?" he offered.

"No, I couldn't do that... Besides I'm using the summer holidays to finish all my written work for my apprenticeship, ready for me to begin the research and experimentation work in September." She replied. He leant in to kiss her and she met him halfway. Before she realised what was happening he had deepened the kiss and had her backed against her door.

"Can I come in then?" he murmured, reaching to open the door. Apparently the wards knew that she was right there also, as the door opened without problems allowing him to back her into her room.

"Gideon we really shouldn't-" He cut her off with a kiss and she tried to push against his chest to get him to stop for a moment, she didn't totally objet to the idea of allowing him in for a bit of snogging on the sofa but he seemed to have completely the wrong idea, as he ran his hands under her jumper. "Gideon, I'm not ready for this."

"Hermione, we've been seeing each other for a while now. What's the problem?" he frowned, tugging her flat against him and kissing her neck.

"I just think we need to take this slowly." She replied, stiffening uncomfortably at his refusal to back off. Any hope there was for a steamy make out session had been killed by his over eager attitude.

"We have been taking things slowly, come on Hermione don't be a tease." He murmured, sliding one hand between them to unbutton her jeans.

"Stop!" she snapped trying to push him away from her. He stopped trying to remove her clothes but didn't let her go. "Let me go!"

"What the hell is your problem?!" he demanded. "You agreed to go out with me remember? We've been doing that for months Hermione! You can't just change your mind just like that!"

"I wasn't saying I don't want to ever, I _was_ saying not right now." She replied. "Although now I'm beginning to think not ever is a better plan, let me go Gideon, please." He didn't release her and just continued to look at her rather furiously, she began to struggle...if she could get her wand then she'd be fine.

"I think Professor Gilwing, that you have outstayed your welcome." A voice came from her doorway. "Release Miss Granger immediately and remove yourself from the grounds at once. Or you will be severely regretting it by dawn." Hermione let out a large sigh of relief at hearing the potion master's voice.

Gideon said nothing; he stared at her for a moment longer before releasing her and briskly leaving the room. Hermione fumbled for her wand the moment her arms were free and had it pointed warily at his back as he left, until she was certain he was gone. She stared at her doorway to see Professor Snape stood at the threshold looking rather uneasy. She felt the world spin a little as she slowly sank to her knees.

"Miss Granger, are you injured at all?" she heard her Professor ask her, as he made his way over to her. She didn't reply, her brain didn't seem to be working like it should – why hadn't she just punched Gideon? Why hadn't she fought harder, _made_ him let go of her? She was so disappointed in herself. She glanced at her wand hand in surprise as she felt someone touch it, lowering both her hand and her wand; that had still been raised defensively. "Are you injured at all?" He asked again, now crouched in front of her. She shook her head.

"Just my pride." She joked weakly. "I'm not entirely sure what happened..." She felt her eyes filling up with tears and quickly brushed them away.

"Will you be alright?" he asked, he clearly looked uncomfortable being faced with an emotional young witch. She nodded numbly. "Are you certain? Perhaps you would prefer to spend tonight in Minerva's rooms, for your own reassurance?"

"How did you get in here?" she asked.

"I heard you shouting and came straight in." He replied. "There are very few Hogwarts wards that I do not know how to get through."

"Thank you." She whispered, as he stood and tugged her to her feet also. "I um...could you, not tell anyone about this?"

"As you wish." He nodded. "Will you be alright?"

"Yes, nothing really happened. I guess I'm a bit shocked more than anything." She replied.

"Goodnight Hermione." He told her, as he closed the door behind him.

After he left she found herself frustrated – torn between all of her emotions; she didn't know whether to cry, scream, flop back down to the floor or kick something. She decided a shower would be best. After scrubbing herself, a little harder than necessary; she left the shower and got ready for bed, before turning in for the night.

The next morning, she hesitated at her doorway as she went to leave for breakfast; she wondered if Gideon had actually left the castle yet, or if he would be at breakfast. She didn't entirely blame him for last night, he had had too much to drink and had obviously lost control of himself but he had still been wrong to treat her as she did, and she was both embarrassed and a little scared of seeing him again so soon.

Her internal debate was cut short by a knock at her door. She reluctantly opened the door and was relieved to find that it was Professor Snape.

"Breakfast?" he enquired. She narrowed her eyes in confusion. "It will not do to spend the morning hiding in your rooms so I took it upon myself to escort you to the great hall to ensure that you did not chicken out."

"I wasn't-" she paused as he just raised an eyebrow at her. "Alright, I was nervous. Thank you." He nodded and walked alongside her in silence to the hall for breakfast. Fortunately Gideon wasn't there, so she took a deep breath and took her seat as usual. Her food appeared in front of her and she began to eat, although she wasn't feeling as hungry as she normally did in the mornings and mostly pushed the food around on her plate. The bacon went down well but for some reason the eggs just really weren't sitting well with her this morning, she reached for her pumpkin juice to wash her mouthful down and gasped in surprise as she felt her Professor's warm breath against her ear.

"You might wish to add a glamour charm Miss Granger, until you have time to apply a bruise salve." He said quietly. Hermione followed his hawk-like gaze and spotted the large bruise visible on her wrist. She was glad that the hall was nearly empty, save the staff and the students that had nowhere else to go because it meant that no one paid any attention to her. She discreetly cast a glamour charm to hide the bruise on her wrist and checked the other wrist to find it thankfully unbruised. "I have some salve if you require it, either that or Madam Pomfrey has some also."

"I'd rather no one else know." She said quietly. "I have some written work to bring to you anyway."

"Very well." He nodded. Hermione left the table first, giving up on her attempt to keep much down after her long night and headed to her rooms to gather the coursework to hand in. She picked up a few extra bits of parchment after a moment of thought and decided to take those too. They were just some rough notes on ideas for research; perhaps at least one of them would be a good to use.

She waited a short while before heading down the hall to potions classroom and Professor Snape's office and knocking. He opened the door promptly and gestured for her to enter. She followed him to his desk and handed over the paperwork that she had done for him.

"There are also some of my notes...for you to look over for practical research." She explained, gesturing to the loose parchment on the top of the pile. He nodded before placing a small jar on the desk in front of her. "I've only got one more written assignment to complete. When did you want to begin the research part?"

"I take that to mean that you are spending most of your summer here?" he asked, she nodded. "In which case, we can begin drafting up a research plan a week Monday, if you wish. That gives you over a week with nothing to do, beyond your remaining written assignment."

"Taking pity on me, Professor?" she asked with a small smile.

"Or on myself, a week where I do not have to suffer your presence in my classroom." He replied. She took it in her stride, hearing the lack of bite that came with his sarcastic comment. "Is there a reason that I am the only member of staff that you still call Professor?" She thought is a strange question, he had never given her any inclination that he would prefer her to use his given name so she had assumed that she shouldn't.

"You've never shown any desire for me to address you otherwise, so I thought I'd play it safe." She replied carefully. "You still call me Miss Granger..." She trailed off as she recalled at least twice when he had actually called her Hermione but it seemed like he had said it by accident.

"You are now officially a member of staff, so unless around students formalities aren't necessary." He said, sitting down and lifting her paperwork for his inspection. She bit her lip nervously; she didn't think he was going to start reading her work in front of her.

"Yesterday, you seemed a bit out of sorts – was it because of you injury?" she asked, promptly followed by her jaw dropping in horror. She hadn't meant to ask that and wondered how on earth it had just managed to come flying out of her mouth.

"What makes you say that?" he enquired narrowing his eyes at her.

"Well...I saw you rubbing that same spot as if it hurt, it wouldn't be that unusual for a healing injury to become irritated from repetitive physical movement." She explained.

"You may go." He told her bluntly. She frowned but conceded that this was Professor Snape after all, and he didn't like anyone much so she nodded and left him to read her work in peace.

Author's Notes: Alright so I know everyone is itching or the romance to begin and it will! But realistically it would take some time for the barriers of student and professor to break down, especially since he saw her grow up. Also I know that my chapters aren't very long but I usually can't find more than fifteen minutes at the time to write, half an hour if I'm lucky so to prevent you guys waiting weeks for one long chapter I figured getting between one and three short chapters a week would be better. I also have had people commenting on the errors, I'm working on improving my writing but I'm not an expert and most of my chapters are admittedly quite rushed. Once the story is completed I may well go back and change things, improve on things etc. But for now I'm just writing for fun in the small bits of me time that I get. Any parents out there among you will I'm sure understand that me time while looking after a toddler and a baby, especially a breastfed clingy one means very little ME time! Anyway thank you for all of your support and reviews


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Notes: I'm so excited that you're all enjoying this! A quick note for any of you waiting for other of my stories to be updated I have a list of the when's for them all on my facebook group. If you wish to join the group just search Astarte Lydianna in facebook and the group should come up. I hope everyone had a nice Valentine's Day yesterday! My husband spoilt me which was lovely even if he woke me up to give them to me at 5am before he left for work and even though he was at work until gone 8pm so there wasn't much point in going out for a meal or anything we had a takeaway and chocolates indoors instead. Anyway, I'm about a quarter of the way into my next chapter now so I'm posting this today as promised and on with the story!

Disclaimer: You guys know the drill!

Chapter Twelve

She had only reached the classroom when she changed her mind and went back to his office. She was determined. He looked surprised to see her come practically storming back into his office but recovered quickly and waited for her to explain.

"Actually Prof- Severus, I'd rather stay." She said firmly. "If you're still healing from the battle then there must be a way to speed it up a little."

"I hardly see how that is any of your business." He countered, narrowing his gaze threateningly.

"Well, firstly it's my business because you're supposed to be mentoring me through my degree and an ongoing injury could at some point affect work. Secondly, as I'm now your colleague it is a duty to take notice of your wellbeing and lastly because I actually rather like you and would prefer not to watch you acting like a stubborn Gryfindor and suffering." She snapped.

"I am most certainly not a stubborn Gryfindor!" he practically roared at her, getting to his feet and appearing in front of her in a heartbeat. Hermione felt her nerves kick in as he towered down over her but took a deep breath and summoned her courage.

"You could have fooled me! You may not act first and think later quite like some but you most certainly _do_ have more than one Gryfindor trait. Now, unfortunately for you I am a real stubborn Gryfindor and I want to help you, or at least the truth from you. So I'll ask again, was it your injury bothering you yesterday?" she replied meeting his furious gaze. Silence fell between the two of them as they continued what could almost be labelled as a staring contest.

"Yes." He said finally. "Satisfied?"

"A little." She shrugged before clearing her throat. "That day when I saw it, your neck was healed – why not the one on your chest?"

"It was received before the battle even begun; it was a completely separate injury, as for why it hasn't healed – I was under the impression that we had already covered that topic." He replied.

"Dark magic...but that snake was a horcrux, that's dark magic and that healed." She pointed out. She noticed his jaw clench.

"And who healed it?" he practically spat at her.

"I didn't do anything spectacular! I only healed it enough to keep you alive long enough to see a real healer." She protested. He suddenly looked very resigned and moved back around his desk to his seat.

"All the healers did was treat the venom, the wound was already gone." He told her. "You did a good job."

"Why exactly does who healed it matter?" she asked softly.

"Dark curses are dark because of their intention; light magic so to speak heals dark curses but the healing time of a wound is affected by one's own magical core also. Healers have good intentions, it's their job to do so but that means that they get relatively used to seeing injuries and it affects the way their healing magic works, their magic works in a very clinical way unless there is a personal connection to the patient." He explained.

"Alright, so St Mungo's healers don't have the level of connection to have the good intention "oomph" behind their healing to heal a dark curse...that seems pretty unfortunate." She frowned.

"Normally they would, but when trying to heal someone corrupted by dark magic it is a little harder than that. The Healers at St Mungo's could do nothing for it at all, Poppy had some luck – she managed to heal it somewhat and take the worst of the pain away." He explained.

"Because she has a personal connection to you so her intentions were stronger." Hermione concluded. "But why couldn't she heal it completely?"

"That would be due to many years of treating a death eater Miss Granger. There's only so much dark magic one healer can take I believe. Not to mention the amount of healing that she had to do during and after the war...I suspect it could take as much as another couple of years before she has her full strength back." He explained.

"You weren't a death eater." Hermione protested.

"I suppose the Dark Mark just places itself on anyone just for fun?" he snorted.

"That was different, you weren't the first person to make a mistake as a teenager...I put up with Ron and Harry did I not?" she grinned to break the tension.

"Quite correct." He conceded.

"So...if I could heal you before, I could heal you now?" she asked, gesturing to his chest.

"Most certainly not." He snapped.

"Why not?" she frowned.

"Because I said that you cannot, end of discussion." He barked. She glanced at the jar of bruise salve still in her hand for a moment.

"You have helped me plenty...this is just one small thing – why can you not allow that?" she asked. "Do you want to suffer?"

"You are being foolish Hermione, if you consider this a small thing." He said gravely. "It is a _dark_ curse, to heal it the caster takes the dark magic into themselves and you've already done that once."

"A mere few moments of pain to take away yours permanently? You don't think that's a price worthwhile? Because I do." she asked. "Even if you ignore every time you helped me in the past, as it could be passed off as me being Harry Potter's friend; you helped me last night when you didn't have to, and you gave me this as well and allowed me to keep it a secret."

"Bloody Gryfindors! I suppose you are going to refuse to shut up until I allow this?" he growled. Sensing triumph she grinned and nodded. He flicked his wrist and she felt the wards appear on the door. He looked suitably uncomfortable as he reluctantly reached for the buttons of his coat. Hermione flushed slightly and couldn't help but wonder why he hadn't asked anyone else to heal him...was it through not wanting anyone to have to take the dark magic from the mark or was it that he felt he should still be suffering...which was unlikely given that he was now allowing her to heal him.

He made a move to stand and she shook her head, instead walking around the desk to when he sat. She eyed the half open white shirt slightly anxiously; it wasn't every day one saw the formidable potions master in anything less than head to toe black. She drew her wand and shyly tugged the right side of his shirt away, revealing sparse amounts of dark hair against pale skin and a rather large bandage. Putting her wand on the desk for a moment, she carefully removed the bandage and let out a gasp.

"This isn't healing at all!" she gasped in horror at the angry red wound that had barely scabbed over, the skin either side of the wound red and pink and sore. Now she knew why he didn't want anyone to heal him...his magic had taken too many dark curses and cast too many also to heal properly without using further dark magic; he was ashamed of it and the thought brought hot tears to her eyes, that she fought to hold back to prevent further embarrassment for either of them.

She reached for her wand and shakily touched it to the wound, before murmuring several incantations and then applying dittany ointment which he passed to her. She could feel the tension leaking from his body with every moment that passed as the wound began to shrink. Finally, she returned to casting the final incantation that would remove the dark magic from the wound itself allowing the healing to work. She felt the sting of it in her wrist but didn't care, for him to have suffered with this wound all this time a slight pain was nothing and with that thought her tears finally escaped her. She hoped that due to the mass of hair covering her face he wouldn't notice and he didn't appear to until her tears not only covered her skin but his also. Thankfully he said nothing and as she noticed that the wound had now vanished, to be replaced by no more than a purple line across his skin, she stepped quickly backwards and practically fell to the floor as the pain reached her chest.

For a moment there was silence, save for her heavy breathing as she waited for the pain to fade. Once it had done so, she stood and crossed back to the other side of the desk not daring to look at his face yet.

"I will obviously tell no one." She said quietly, retrieving the bruise salve from the desk again and heading towards the door.

"Hermione," his voice caused her to pause, he stood behind his desk shirt still half open and ruffled and looking more vulnerable than she had ever seen him, which was saying something since she had seen his near death experience...even then he hadn't looked so completely unguarded, except for maybe when he was talking to Harry. "Thank you."

She nodded mutely and left, quietly closing the door behind her. She let out a deep breath but held it together until she got to her own rooms. Then she finally let the tears fall freely. She wasn't just crying for him, it was for everyone that they had lost, nearly lost and every innocent person injured...every family torn apart, every student living at Hogwarts because they had no parents to go home to...her parents that would never know her, hold her and love her again.

She supposed that Professor Snape's near death stuck in her mind most strongly because it had been not only violent and ruthless, but because she was so closely involved in it; stood metres away while he lay dying, trying to pass to Harry the vital information that they needed...trying desperately to save his life. The memory just haunted her.

Down the hall Severus Snape found himself in a similarly shell shocked state; the Gryfindor had overwhelmed him. He wasn't surprised at her stubbornness to help him when he refused, or her willingness to take pain upon herself to heal him...that was very characteristic of her house, it was that she cared. Not just in a caring for humanity kind of way, he had heard her intake of breath when she realised the wound had barely changed since she had last seen it and he had heard her slight sniffling from beneath her hair and felt her hot tears falling onto his skin. Hermione Granger actually cared about him as a person and he couldn't remember the last time he had genuinely felt that someone else had...

It wasn't until three days later that they even spoke again, she hadn't had the guts to initiate conversation with him after crying in front of him and he wasn't the sort to initiate conversation with anyone unless he was shouting at them. They had left the great hall at the same time and therefore made their way down to the dungeons nearly side by side, which seemed rather awkward in silence.

"I've finished my last essay if you'd like it?" she spoke up.

"Whenever you are next passing my office then." He nodded.

"It's the other end of the same corridor, hardly a mission." She scoffed. "I'll just drop it by a little later shall I?"

"Very well." He nodded.

"I did have one question..." she said quietly.

"Go on." He nodded.

"Sixth year...you healed Draco from what Harry said were rather severe wounds..." she trailed off, wondering how to phrase her question without insulting him.

"You want to know how I did that but not cannot heal myself." He surmised. She nodded. "Intent again Miss Granger, if I were to try to heal a stranger in the street it would almost certainly fail."

"Love." She murmured. "That makes sense...real love gives our magic almost impossible and endless power, as your godson you truly cared for him and wanted to heal him. So, if it were Draco you were trying to heal now; it would work?"

"Are you planning on causing my godson bodily harm?" he asked dryly. "Because if you are, forewarning me possibly isn't the most prudent course of action."

"If I were to plan on causing him harm I would definitely not tell you first." She agreed, and then sniggered to herself. "Besides, why bother cursing him when it's so much more satisfying to punch him in the face myself?"

"You're not serious?" he asked, looking somewhat shocked, which only served to make her laughed more.

"I only did it once." She replied. "He deserved it and it left no permanent damage, besides he could have fought back if it really bothered him that much."

"He wouldn't have dared." He replied darkly. "Draco was raised in high wizarding society; it is simply not acceptable for a wizard to beat a witch."

"Is that why they had Bellatrix do it?" she muttered. He paused and looked her in the face but she had trouble reading his expression.

"I had hoped that that was a rumour." He said. Hermione shook her head. "Would you mind telling me what exactly happened in Malfoy Manor?"

"One day." She nodded, not feeling ready to talk about it with him – after all it wasn't like they were friends. "I'll drop my work in for you in a bit." He gave her a curt nod and left her at the entrance to her rooms.


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Notes: First a note to thank everyone who has reviewed so far. When I first started posting this it wasn't getting much interest so I didn't expect that to change much but have been blown away by the response from the last two chapters. I hope you will also enjoy this one.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, nor the characters or anything recognisable and make no money from writing this story.

Chapter Thirteen

Hermione picked up her overnight bag in one hand and her coursework in her other hand and made her way down the corridor to the potions classroom. She couldn't see the Professor anywhere, so she made her way through to his office, which was empty also. She placed her work on the desk and then scribbled a quick note on top of it.

"What are you doing Miss Granger?" his voice came from the doorway. She jumped and it jogged her quill hand, leaving an out of place line of ink on her note.

"I was just leaving a note, to let you know that I'll be at the burrow until Sunday if you need me." She said quickly.

"Why on earth would I need to know your whereabouts?" he sneered. Hermione tried not to laugh, he was acting like his old self again but somehow she found it just didn't affect her like it used to – not now that she knew there was more to him.

"You may not need to." She shrugged. "But I thought I'd let you know that that is where I would be. Have a nice week Severus." With that she levitated her bag and left him be.

The wizard watched her go thoughtfully; she was a most unusual young witch...but she thought of him, which was more than most people had done for him throughout his lifetime. It was the fact that she generally seemed to care about him to some degree that caused him to allow her to get closer to him. He was a private man and would likely never fully open up to another person but like Minerva...Hermione Granger was beginning to get under his skin.

As Hermione made her way down the Hogwarts grounds to the gate, she thought that perhaps when she had time she would make a new bag. Her beaded bag had been damaged during the final battle and a few days afterwards she had gone into her room to find that all of the contents had exploded out over the floor because the extension charm had failed. Another bag would certainly be preferable to bulkier ones. She didn't like to shrink books because it tended to damage them, so when going somewhere for longer than a quick visit like this weekend, required a larger bag than she would like.

Upon arriving outside the burrow she immediately heard voices.

"That'll be Hermione!" Ginny called. Sure enough, moments later the youngest Weasley followed by Harry and Ron, had charged into her to envelope her in hugs. "We've missed you!"

"I've missed you too!" she said, feeling a little choked up for a moment. She had really needed a hug these past few days after what had happened with Gideon. When they actually reached the house she received more hugs and as Mrs Weasley reached her and held her tightly, a sob escaped her throat and the tears followed.

Molly Weasley ushered the young witch inside brushed off the questions of the others for a moment.

"I'm sorry..." Hermione cried. "I don't know what came over me."

"Is Snape being a git?" Ron asked, causing Hermione to leave the arms of the Weasley matriarch and turn on him.

"Ronald Weasley! You will not talk of him like that! He may not be the most pleasant person in the world but he is a good man!" she snapped at him. "He helped me when I couldn't help myself, when he could have left me to my own stupid mistake!"

"Hermione...whatever is the matter?" Molly asked softly.

"Gideon...I start going out with him and he had too much to drink..." she said quietly.

"Oh Hermione, what did he do?" Ginny asked not needing to hear anymore.

"Nothing, thankfully." She replied, regretting that she had said anything. She hadn't wanted anyone to know, but she had gotten too emotional and it had just slipped out. "Please don't say anything to anyone. Nothing happened; Professor Snape heard me shouting at him and ejected him from the castle before Gideon did anything, so you don't need to worry. He wouldn't have done it if he wasn't so drunk, not that I'm defending him but I also shouldn't have let him escort me to my room knowing how drunk he was. I was just a little shaken up is all."

It was a few minutes until she got her crying back under control and the hugging came to a stop but she had to admit that she felt like a huge weight had been lifted and she felt a lot better.

"Now, let's all have a nice cup of tea and some cake." Molly announced firmly. Everyone heartily agreed and just as they were all sitting down to enjoy a piece of cake, the twins arrived.

"Afternoon everyone." They said together.

"Come on in and sit down you two." Their mother said warmly. Hermione loved being at the burrow sometimes – it was so homely and warm and full of love. On other occasions of course she longed for peace and quiet so that she could read...

"'Mione, nice of you to join us." George grinned taking a seat opposite her. "We thought we'd stop by-"

"Especially for you, since we knew you were coming today." Fred smiled, squeezing in next to her. "And how is our favourite little sister?"

"Hey!" Ginny protested.

"Can you really blame us dear sister?" Fred asked.

"When you spent all your time finding ways to get us in trouble with mum growing up?" George said shaking his head in mock seriousness.

"Don't take it personally Ginny, they obviously want something." Hermione told her.

"Fred; can you see a hole in my chest? I think I'm wounded!" George gasped.

"Really 'Mione, you think so little of us?" Fred pouted before a grin slipped onto his face. "Although as it happens..."

"There you go." Hermione laughed.

"There is a little something..." George agreed.

Everyone laughed as the twins explained to her their latest invention and that they were having stability issues making it. Knowing that she was currently studying for her potions degree they thought that she might have some insight into it and be able to help them. She agreed to come and visit them in the shop one day this week and have a look.

"So how is the famous Hermione Granger doing with her apprenticeship anyway?" Ginny asked.

"Good, I think." She nodded. "I've done all the pre-set work now well – with the exception of the potion that I apparently can't make. It's just the research and experimenting part left."

"There's a potion Hermione Granger can't make?" Ron gasped in mock horror.

"It's not a skill issue, it's a um...brewer requirement." She replied uncertainly.

"What she means is that they think a virgin can't brew the potion." Ginny explained bluntly. The four boys burst out laughing.

"Oh yes, the fact that I'm a virgin is so funny." Hermione muttered.

"No, that's not the funny part." George chuckled. "Always had high standards you have."

"It's the fact that you and old Snape had to discuss the fact that you're still a virgin!" Fred laughed.

"Yeah, and since he brewed it he's obviously not." Ginny snorted. The boys all made disgusted faces and made a hasty exit, leaving Ginny and Hermione giggling at their speedy departure. "So Snape's not been an arse as much?"

"No, he really hasn't." Hermione replied. "He hasn't been a completely different person and all cheery and sunshine don't get me wrong but...he hasn't been horrid to me at all."

"That's good, he's got to pull the Voldemort stick out of his butt at some point right?" she smirked.

"Gin, that's not very nice." Hermione murmured.

Sunday found Hermione entering walking her way back up to the castle. She smiled softly as she passed Hagrid's rebuilt hut, she glanced around but didn't see the half giant anywhere, so she assumed he was out tending to the grounds. As she headed to the circle of stones she spotted a dark shadow heading from the owlery in the same direction – only one person had robes that billowed like that. She met him at the covered bridge, noting the open letter in his hand.

"I must be important for you to start reading it before you've even got back to the castle." She mused.

"Somewhat." He replied, not taking his eyes from the parchment in his hands. "Bloody fools." He frowned and shoved the letter into his cloak pocket.

"Problem?" she asked, hoping that she didn't sound like she was prying too much.

"The British Potion Master's Guild, at the moment their verdict is; that without completing the Mater optans potion, you cannot complete your degree." He explained. Hermione glanced around the clocktower courtyard to check that it was in fact empty before replying.

"So they're saying I have to choose; my degree or go and pick up some guy to lose my virginity to?" she asked. "That hardly seems very fair..."

"They confirmed that our assessment of the problem was correct, I can also confirm that it doesn't make a difference for a male either way...only female, but I suppose there is no magical or physical change for a wizard with regards to virginity." He said. They entered the clocktower and Hermione headed straight to the secret passageway that lead to the main castle staircases.

"Hang on...you're saying that my magic will change when I decide to..." She pointed out, suddenly realising what he had said.

"It will." He nodded. They exited the building and headed across the viaduct. "Wizards and witches come into their powers as children as you know, their powers grow over the years and often suffer "growth spurts" particularly during puberty however once they reach seventeen, most of their power has reached its peak."

"That doesn't make sense...all the most powerful wizards are older ones." Hermione frowned.

"Just because they have their power doesn't mean they know how to use it. You should know by now Miss Granger that most teenage boys aren't using the correct brain, if they did they'd figure out how to use their full abilities a damn slight quicker." He smirked. They bumped shoulders as they went down the narrow spiral staircase and he gestured for her to go first as they headed down to the dungeons. "The actual power level of an of-age wizard doesn't change much for the rest of his life only the knowledge to use it. Witches however get a bit of a boost when they lose their virginity, whether or not it is before they are of age, as well as a boost when they're of age. The part that is relevant to you, is that in instances where a witch is of age with her virginity still intact they get several more power boosts after they turn of age until they do lose their virginity. An adult virgin witch is considered a prize because they often very powerful and on some occasions the wizard to take their virginity also gets a power boost...though this isn't a guarantee it only happens when there is a strong emotional and magical connection."

"What like they would take some of my power?" she asked in surprise.

"No." He shook his head. "A couple with a connection actually raise magic during intimate acts, it goes away again after obviously, otherwise you would find a whole bunch of morons going at it constantly just to get more powerful. If the witch is pure then they get to keep the power, but only that once."

"But why would this stop me brewing a potion? Surely if I'm supposed to be more powerful, it would mean it's easier for me to brew potions."

He gestured his head for her to follow him to the classroom and through to his office. She frowned, he never had a chair in front of the desk just so that people would have to stand and feel awkward; so she lifted a piece of blank piece of parchment from the desk and transfigured it into a chair.

"Do you know why you managed to heal me from near death so dramatically, without knowing anything more than common healing spells?" he asked, taking his own seat.

"I'm guessing you do."

"A witch is changed physically by losing her virginity, that's what changes her magic. Your body is still pure and so your magic is pure. I didn't know that the first time but the second time I did; it should have hurt you more than it did." He told her, she opened her mouth but he cut her off. "If I had not known that you had already successfully healed a worse injury and known of your situation, I would not have let you attempt it. In the end, you were being stubborn and curiosity got the better of me."

"So maybe I should just hold out until I'm so powerful I don't need any degrees, everyone can just bow down to me." She grinned.

"It doesn't work like that Hermione." He said seriously, meeting her gaze. "You won't just keep getting more powerful indefinitely. The Master's Guild have opened a case; they will discuss the option of replacing the potion with another for your degree but at the moment their word is that without the potion you can't complete your degree."

"What now? I go crawling back to Gideon and let him finish what he started?" she demanded, leaping up in disgust.

"Sit back down." He snapped. "Now, we continue as planned and if the Master's Guild still say no then we will cross that bridge when we come to it."

"And have two years of work be for nothing?" she asked.

"Go back to your rooms, rest and tomorrow we _will_ continue as planned." He told her firmly. She accepted that the subject was no longer open for discussion and rather than irritate both of them further she turned and headed back to her rooms.


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Notes: WOW! Just wow! I can't believe the response from the last update! It was incredible everyone, so thank you so much! I know some of you are itching for the romance to begin and I promise I've got it drafted out. In fact I've got brief drafted out versions of the next seven chapters So I'm hoping to keep a regular 1-2 updates a week going if I can get them rewritten in full for uploading at that pace. There's a lot of stuff that I need to explain and get said etc. before they get to the good stuff ;)

Disclaimer: You know the drill people!

Chapter 14

Hermione tugged her collar uncomfortably as she dropped the crushed ginger root into the cauldron.

"Merlin it's so hot in here." She mumbled. She wasn't used to brewing in an enclosed room with so many layers on but since they were now working on experimental potions with more risks Professor Snape had insisted that she wear full clothing covering all but her hands and face and protective eyewear during the most risky parts of brewing.

"It is no different to usual." Her Professor replied evenly, watching intently as she stirred the mixture until it reached a cooper colour. "Alright Miss Granger that it the completed base for the contraceptive you hope to change. Now we need to leave it on the heat while we test possible alternative ingredients."

"Right." She nodded. "I'm not sure how you think I'm going to do a better job than you already did..."

"Simple, I was only looking for a contraceptive solution and I found it so stopped looking for any further solutions. You wish to find a substitution for one single ingredient and still have the potion work the same way." He replied.

"I think this is where my muggle heritage may help." She grinned. "Potions has a bit in common with chemistry, obviously it's not the same but there are similarities – I want to try testing ingredients that we know would do the job against my blood for a reaction before ingesting it...it should save us a lot of brewing time."

"Or rather save you a lot of brewing time, I am merely here to ensure you do not blow yourself up." He sneered. Hermione just rolled her eyes at him and turned back to her notes. She had drafted up a few ingredients that were known to have the properties that she needed but she needed to work out which ones would actually work with the other ingredients that she needed to use.

"Unicorn hair won't work with the dragon liver..." she mumbled to herself, crossing it off of the list and moving down.

"Not unless you find something else to counteract the reaction." Severus prompted.

"Yes I suppose but the aim is to create a realistically useable potion here...I can't rightly use all of the most expensive ingredients in a potion that I'll need to take at least monthly if not weekly for years; it isn't practical." She replied.

"Very good point." He nodded.

"What about honeywater and horse hair? Together they work much the same way as unicorn hair...although I'd still need to find a neutraliser to balance the potential explosion..." she frowned.

"And that unfortunately is something that you will have to test out...carefully of course." He told her.

"I've not blown up a cauldron yet..." she protested.

"That's because you were following laid out instructions, you'll blow some up now." He told her.

"You don't know that for certain." She frowned.

"Alright, a wager Miss Granger?" he asked smugly. "I say you will blow up at least one potion before the year is out."

"Nu-uh, Slytherin words!" she countered. "You said potion, I may not blow up any cauldrons but I'd be stupid to bet that I wouldn't ruin a single potion."

"Alright, well spotted." He conceded. "I bet that by the end of the school year you will have blown up at least one cauldron."

"And I say I won't." She nodded.

"And if you do win, what would you like for your prize?" he asked. She looked thoughtful for a moment and then smiled.

"You will go with me to attend every single order gathering for a whole year with no complaint about having to be there." She told him.

"And what if I win?" he asked.

"What do you want?" she asked, biting her lip nervously.

"That's a dangerous question to ask a Slytherin Hermione." He murmured. "I will not ask what you cannot give though; when I win this little wager you will admit to me that I know better than you do when it comes to potions and even more importantly for the next year you will agree with my opinion in public. On everything."

Hermione frowned; she knew that would mean Severus would take every opportunity possible to insult her friends and ask her opinion on the matter...

"That could affect me every day for a year, not nearly as bad as twelve order gatherings. I will agree with you in front of others for three months, no matter the topic." She countered.

"Ten."

"Six."

"How about you agreed with me on ten occasions of my choosing, not time limit?" He nodded holding out his hand for her to shake. She clenched her jaw determinedly and placed her hand in his. He squeezed her hand firmly and she felt her cheeks heat up at the contact before he let go and gestured to her notes. "Continue. You need to write up notes on everything you've done so far and how you plan to eliminate the potential substitute ingredients."

"Alright, lots of notes...got it." She nodded.

He watched her as she sat obediently and wrote up her notes. He was willing to bet that we would actually blow up a cauldron before the week was out but didn't want to irritate her into an argument by saying so, making a bet was much more enjoyable. He couldn't wait to force her to agree with him calling Weasley an idiot or insulting Gryfindor in general.

It was a couple of hours before she finished writing up her notes by which time it was time to call it a day as evening meal would start soon.

"Did you wish to join me for evening meal rather than going up to the hall?" he asked her before he even realised it.

"Oh...um...yes please, that'd be lovely." She replied looking completely stunned. "That way I can make the tester base ready to test the neutralizers tomorrow straight after."

"Eager as ever." He murmured, gesturing for her to follow him. He thought about dining in his office rather than allowing her into his private quarters but knew that not only did he not have a second chair therefore meaning they would have to transfigure something but also his desk was a complete mess of all of her coursework that he was in the middle of checking. Decision made he led her out to the corridor and along to a little way to a portrait. He quietly said the password and the portrait of the dragon slayer swung open to allow them entrance.

The torches along the wall flared to life as they stepped into his living room and he flicked his wrist to the fire to light that also. He saw from the corner of his eye that the young witch's attention was draw straight to the large bookshelves dominating the wall either side of the fireplace.

"You may look but do not touch." He told her. "At least not without permission, some of those books are dangerous."

"I'm not as naive as you seem to think." She told him, walking over to the closest bookshelf and scanning the titles.

"Ah yes, very convincing sentiments from the virgin" he smirked.

"I suppose you're right." She laughed. "Honestly, it wasn't like I planned on staying one or that I'm planning on living my life as an old maid or anything...I just never felt the urge to do that with any of the boys I happened to know." She continued to browse the collection of books until she crossed the room to the other bookcase. "You know; if I'd been older when Victor came over for the tournament this wouldn't even be a problem." This was muttered to herself but she knew he had probably heard her and was grateful that he said nothing.

It was true though, she had definitely fancied the Quidditch star. She couldn't see the relationship becoming anything more due to their lack of common interests but still there had been enough chemistry that she could have slept with him had she been older and more interested in her sexuality at the time.

She realised when a 'pop' sounded that Severus had summoned an elf and drew her attention away from the books to look around the room. It was as she feared mostly deep greens but it wasn't green and silver, instead it was green and gold and fortunately she couldn't see a single Slytherin crest.

"Miss Granger and I wish to take our evening meal here tonight." He told the elf simply before the elf nodded enthusiastically and disappeared again.

Severus took a seat in his usual armchair and watched as Hermione hovered; she looked uncomfortable in his living room...almost like she expected him to rip her head off at any given moment.

"Will you stop hovering about and sit?" he demanded. She instantly sank onto the sofa guiltily. No sooner had her behind touched the dark brown leather than a two house elves appeared, handing them a tray of food and goblet respectively. He nodded his thanks to the elf.

"Thank you, Milly." Hermione told the elf sweetly. He rolled his eyes; of course Miss Granger probably knew each and every house elf by name. They ate in silence, the elves returned to take their empty trays.

"Would Master and Miss be liking dessert now?"

"Oh yes please Noddy." Hermione beamed. "What are my choices?"

"Chocolate cheesecake or apple pie."

"Chocolate cheesecake please." She grinned.

"Master Snape?" the elf asked.

"Just tea." He replied.

"Not got a sweet tooth Sir-everus?" Hermione asked as she sat carefully eating each bite of her cheesecake. She absolutely loved chocolate cheesecake; it was one of her favourites.

"I just happened not to be in the mood for a dessert today." He replied. "Although I almost wish I had ordered a cheesecake also as you seem to be enjoying it so much. No wonder you're still innocent; you are apparently getting all your satisfaction from a chocolate dessert."

"Sorry." She flushed, realising the moaning over chocolate wasn't exactly becoming.

"No, no do carry on." He smirked. Hermione looked at him nervously; her face was on fire under his intensive gaze.

"You're enjoying this." She muttered.

"When is it ever a bad thing to hear a young woman enjoying herself?" he asked, causing her fork to drop unceremoniously onto her plate. She floundered for words and found that her entire vocabulary had temporarily deserted her. She had meant that he was enjoying watching her embarrassed...not enjoying her moaning.

"Sorry." She said finally. "Sometimes it still takes me by surprise that my old Professor's aren't just Professors..."

"Are you trying to tell me Hermione that you hadn't noticed that I was male as well as a Professor?" he asked raising an eyebrow.

"No...I _had_ noticed that." She replied. "What I meant was that we've only just moved onto first name basis and still sometimes forget to do that..."

"And yet you've seen me half undressed and I've seen you moaning in ecstasy." He murmured with a quirk of his lips.

"That is an exaggeration and you know it!" she laughed. "But it does sound silly when you say it like that." She smiled as she took her last bite of cheesecake and then gestured to the bookcase. "What is a Hogwarts Professor doing with dangerous books?"

"Most of them are not actually dangerous unless in the wrong hands of course. They are a few books that are dangerous but since they are inside my warded rooms I do not believe that they will be falling into innocent hands." He replied.

"I suppose, but this is a school and you know how many students like to explore where they are not supposed to." She countered.

"Indeed." He agreed, looking at her pointedly.

"I only did it the once." She protested. "And it was important!"

"Turning yourself into a half cat, half girl was important enough to steal from me?" he growled.

"Actually...the rest of it worked just fine." She told him. "But it still didn't get us the information we were after."

"A Gryfindor attempt at Slytherin tactics." He snorted. "You had better go and have an early night Miss Granger, if of course you hope to avoid any brewing disasters tomorrow."

"Oh, I should go get that base ready!" she said jumping up in surprise. It was then she noticed that she had been in Professor Snape's rooms for two hours. "I didn't even realise that I'd been here that long, I'm sorry for taking up so much of your time."

"I could have just as easily kicked you out." He smirked.

"I don't doubt it." She grinned. "Goodnight Professor." She made a hasty exit from his rooms and headed to her own, she noticed that there was only one large portrait in-between his rooms and her own and wondered what was in that room or if indeed there was actually a room behind the portrait at all.

Severus remained seating in his usual chair where he had watched her leave through the door opposite him, his manners would have had him see her out but she had left so quickly that he hadn't so much as risen from his seat. He smirked to himself; clearly she hadn't wanted to outstay her welcome and perhaps already thought that she had.

He found himself surprised at how enjoyable he had found the young witch's company, she was still somewhat trying on his patience but she was more restrained than she had been only a few years ago and also one of the most intelligent people that he had come across in a long time. It was her intelligence that made her tolerable to him...

His thoughts lingered on her enjoyment of the dessert earlier and he shook his head, it had been like a guilty pleasure to watch that. Seeing an attractive young witch in such pleasure was not something that he had been fortunate enough to see often, in fact he had very little experience with women at all. It was however very wrong to see the young girl in such a way, she was far too young for him and completely wrong for him...although he had to admit pretty much any woman was wrong for him. He was a ruined man, nearly dead inside...

Author's Notes: So he's thinking of her :D


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Notes: So this story has been going for over six weeks now and so I think fifteen chapters is pretty good going. Anyway, there may only be one chapter a week from now on depending on how much time I have to do them. Some weeks I may have more time than others so I may get two chapters out some weeks but we shall see! I am so grateful to everyone that has reviewed and so happy that it's been popular :D

Disclaimer: As usual, I own nothing and make no money!

Chapter Fifteen

Severus watched from his position at his desk in amusement at the sheer concentration on his apprentice's face. She bit her lip intently as she first sprinkled the ground dragon's liver into the cauldron, before adding the silverweed as a potential neutraliser.

Hermione had already attempted potential neutralisers for a whole day, before spending the entire following day writing up her notes and then more potential ingredients. Today she was attempting another round of neutralisers and so far it had resulted in one crusted over cauldron with a useless lumpy contents and another that resembled soup but was again useless.

Finally she added the honeywater and horse hair at the same time to test her third potential, for a moment nothing happened, which was slightly unnerving, she glanced into the cauldron and saw in bulge up and bubble in the centre. She stepped back as the bubble popped.

"Move!"

Before she had time to do much more than glance towards the sound of her Professor's voice, the cauldron began to vibrate and shake on its stand. She quickly backed away from the potion as fast as possible, as a rush of heat and a bang told her that her neutraliser had failed. Bits of stray potion hit her fortunately thick clothing and she felt a burning on her cheek that told her, that there was potion on her skin that needed to be removed very quickly.

"Off!" she heard the older wizard bark at her, tugging at her sleeve. "Quickly woman, if you still want your skin." She fumbled dazedly with her buttons and pulled off her jacket that was quickly tossed aside.

"Well...looks like I lost that bet pretty quickly." She muttered, reaching for her wand.

"Stop." He snapped, grabbing her wrist to stop her from casting a cleansing charm. "Until you know how magic reacts with an unstable potion you do not cast it, you should know that after years of being in a class with Longbottom."

"Sorry...I guess I wasn't thinking." She frowned. She glanced around the room and noted that thankfully the only damage was to the cauldron she had blown up and to a couple of empty glass vials nearby.

She felt cold on her face and realised that Professor Snape had grabbed her chin and had used a damp cloth to wipe the potion from her cheek.

"Once we have cleaned up you should put some burn salve on that so that it does not leave a mark." He told her. "I'll call in my bet at a later date, for now we will worry about the mess."

He had her put on clean gloves and pick up all of the pieces of cauldron and dump them into a large metal tub in the corner of the room, before standing at a safe distance to run a diagnostic charm on the potion residue. After finding it stable enough to use magic on, the rest of the cleaning was done by magic. She removed her gloves and went to dump them with her ruined robes when she froze, feeling her Professor's eyes on her.

How had he never seen that before? Severus stared intently at his apprentice's left forearm; more importantly the jagged red letters that stood out from her white skin. _That_ was what Bellatrix had done to her at the Malfoy mansion...no wonder the girl hadn't wanted to tell him about it. He knew that she had seen him staring when she froze mid-motion.

"Does anyone know?" he asked.

"Draco does and his parents...obviously," Hermione replied. "And Madam Pomfrey, but by the time I was in a position to ask her to look over it, there wasn't anything she could do."

"And where were Potter and Weasley?" he asked bitterly, stalking up to her.

"They were locked in the Malfoy's dungeon, Sir." She said through gritted teeth. "And then they were a bit pre-occupied with helping us all to escape."

"You were alone when she did this?" he asked, reaching out to her scarred arm. She flinched away automatically, no one had touched it. She didn't want people looking at it.

"How did you know who did it?" she asked suspiciously. She had to wonder if he had actually known what had happened all along but not let on that he already knew.

"Because I _know_ that Bellatrix has a fondness for enchanted blades." He replied. She shuddered at the use of that name and grasped her wand to transfigure her t-shirt into a long sleeved one to hide her arm. She instantly felt more comfortable and he took it as a clear sign that the conversation was now closed. "A conversation for another day perhaps."

"I guess I'll go write up today's attempts in my room and come back tomorrow to try again." She nodded. She quickly made some rough notes on her failed attempts by looking into each cauldron to get a description for the mixture within, before cleaning them all and heading back to her rooms.

Hermione dropped onto her sofa sighed, Professor Snape had known she would blow up a cauldron and she had been convinced she was better than that. Experimental potions really were a whole different ball game. She tugged her hair loose from its tight bun and decided a quick shower was in order, then she bit her lip thoughtfully; since it was now summer holidays and not all of the staff were here, perhaps it would be her best chance to try out the staff bathrooms.

There were two main staff bathrooms, one up on the fifth floor and another at the very bottom of the main staircases. The one at the bottom of the staircases was closest; she could get there through the dungeon corridors which she hadn't actually tried before, through fear of getting lost but with nothing else to do for a while she had the time to waste if she did lose her way. She did have her own bathroom in her room of course but it was more of a shower room and she imagined that most of the staff had the same, hence the two apparently rather luxurious staff bathrooms.

It took her a while to get to the bathroom but it was instantly worth it, much like the prefect's bathroom there was a large tub in the centre of the room. There were steps that led up to it and pillars surrounding it, as well as a water feature at one end...it was just as beautiful as Professor McGonagall had made it sound. She carefully warded the door and disrobed at the edge of the room hanging her clothing on the hooks on the wall.

She stepped carefully up the steps, grateful that for whatever reason the stone floor was unusually warm. She flicked her wand at the numerous taps lining the side of the tub opposite the door to turn on the water and multicoloured bubbles and sat on the edge of the tub waiting for it to fill. Once it was full enough she flicked the taps off and carefully placed her wand on the steps outside of the tub before sliding into the warm water.

Much like in the prefect's bathroom, she instantly felt the troubles of the day easing away and her body go weightless and limp. She could certainly get used to relaxing like this. She grinned; perhaps Professor Snape should use this bathroom more often, then maybe he wouldn't be so irritable.

Severus placed the last essay onto the pile and leant back in his chair. Hermione's work so far was practically faultless; a little dry for reading material of course but it was all technically correct and would be more than enough to pass her degree. Her ideas for potion experiments were interesting, not perfect and not all of them were likely to work but some could and she really only needed to attempt three different experiments and to be successful in one.

His thoughts drifted to the scar that he'd seen earlier that day. Many had paid a price for the temporary peace that they were now able to enjoy; he knew that better than most...he hadn't expected such a cost for the little Gryfindor. He had known that none of the trio would come out completely unscathed, after all they were three teenagers against adults and monsters. In fact he had been surprised that they were all still alive today. It was just surprising to see a scar that summed up the war so well. She was a symbol for all of the muggleborns out there; powerful, intelligent and standing up against those that threatened them. She gave them all hope and would forever carry the label of that dirty word on her arm for all to see for the rest of her life.

He couldn't help but wonder what other scars she had suffered. He knew that she probably wouldn't open up to him about her injuries if he didn't also. He wondered if he could convince her that she owed him an explanation based on the fact that she already knew of two of his...although he doubted that that Slytherin logic would work with her, she knew him better than that.

A knock at his office door broke his thoughts and he called for the visitor to enter. He was somewhat surprised to see the Head Mistress in his doorway. She swept in and didn't hesitate in pulling a handkerchief from her pocket to transfigure into a cushioned chair in front of his desk.

"To what do I owe the surprise visit Minerva?" he asked curiously, it was not often that she came to his office to see him; usually she preferred to speak with him in her office.

"I have just received a most distressing letter." She frowned. "Professor Gilwing will not be joining us for a second year."

"I see." He nodded. He saw Minerva's problem but if he was honest he was glad that the moron had seen enough sense to not return.

"I have no Dark Arts Professor." She sighed. "And with only five weeks until the start of term I am not convinced I shall find one in time."

"That is indeed a problem." He nodded.

"When I made you my Deputy Severus I was hoping for at least some of the intelligence that I know you to possess to be helpful." She snapped.

"Considering that you are speaking to someone that has also handed in their resignation Minerva I am not entirely sure what you expect me to do." He replied. "Besides I cannot say that I will be sorry to see that buffoon gone."

"You must take the position Severus, there is no one else." She told him matter-of-factly.

"Now there is an offer that is hard to refuse." He snorted. "And _if_ I were to consider taking the position that you previously offered...how do you propose that I might teach both potions and defence against the dark arts next year, while supervising an apprentice and managing my other tasks?"

"That is what I was hoping we could talk about." The headmistress replied. "I was hoping that you may be able to think of a solution."

"Miss Granger is ahead in her apprenticeship at the moment." He relented. "She does not known this but if she continues as predicted she will more than likely finish at some time in the Spring term, or before the beginning of term should she work through the winter holidays but obviously that is not something that we can enforce upon her."

"And you doubted my decision." She smirked at him.

"I never said I doubted it, I just was not fond of the idea." He countered. "This will mean that after the Christmas holiday, both my own and Miss Granger's workloads will be significantly reduced and she would technically be qualified."

"But she won't have had time to build lesson plans or prepare, and that doesn't solve the problem of us being a Professor short immediately." Minerva frowned.

"Miss Granger has been attending and assisting with lessons for years four and below since she began her apprenticeship in January." He told her. "I believe that she could handle at least first through third years alone. If we could fix the timetable so that the fifth through seventh years of defence coincide with those lessons then I can teach the older year of both potions and defence until such a time as Miss Granger can take over the Potions position officially."

"And the younger years defence? Surely you don't mean for her to also teach that considering that she is using most of her other time on her apprenticeship or your extra responsibilities?"

"No, perhaps she could take the first years but I was actually leaning towards a rota." He smirked. "Perhaps Miss Granger for first years and then perhaps find volunteer members of staff to take on a year each?"

"They will want bonuses for this Severus." Minerva sighed. "Filius will probably agree on grounds that I allow him retirement the following year and then I will be short one charms Professor next year!"

"You asked for an idea, I have given you one. You can but ask them." He shrugged. "I cannot physically be in two places at once without some serious violations being made and neither can Miss Granger." He looked at the older witch pointedly and she nodded.

"I wondered how long it would take you to figure it out should she use it this year." She sighed. "I hope she has taken more caution than last time?"

"I believe so." He nodded.

"Good." She agreed. "I am glad that you are looking out for her Severus, I worry about her. You know sometimes I still worry about you too." Seeing his face she let out a laugh. "Don't give me that look young man, you know I've always worried about you."

Author's Notes: So that answers some questions about Gideon. He has handed in his notice and not returning to Hogwarts. He will be mentioned again a few times in the future but he will not be returning to Hogwarts as a Professor. Also remember the bet, it will come back into play later on also


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Notes: Thanks everyone for the reviews! To those of you that picked up on the swimsuit and hiding her scar, she will actually explain it all to Severus in a later chapter but just for you guys I can tell you that when she is wearing something which reveals her scar she has glamours on, but when she has long sleeved clothing she doesn't because it'd be a waste of magic wouldn't it? But yes to those of you that picked up on it Severus will also think the very same thing and conclude that she uses glamour charms and ask her about it when they have their chat, which I hope to be quite a sweet chapter where they talk a lot...when I get to that one, I've only drafted it out in very rough so far.

Disclaimer: I still don't own Harry Potter, the books, films or characters. I make no money from this writing either... -_-

Chapter Sixteen

Hermione dropped her notes onto the sofa next to her in relief. She had finally finished her variant on the standard contraceptive potion used by the majority of witches and written up the notes. All that was left was to continue making rough notes on its testing period. She was actually proud of herself, since it only took three weeks and three blown up cauldrons to do it but had to admit that she had had a good starting point and a lot of self interest in the experiment.

She had been most fortunate to have two volunteers in taking the potion for testing. Ginny was the first to volunteer as although she and Harry weren't planning on having a baby yet, she said that they did want one, so if it happened by accident they wouldn't be worried. Hermione was thrilled to have Ginny as a volunteer and the Weasley's were well known for breeding, so naming her as a test subject in her paper would most likely put a little weight on its evidence. The second was Fleur's recently married friend Rosalind, who had also been of the mind that the plan wasn't to have children for another year but if it happened she and her husband would still be happy.

All that Hermione had left to do was test it herself to test whether she was still allergic and to record the findings of the tests at regular intervals over the next six months. She was thrilled to have gotten a successful potion from her first experiment and had Professor Snape to thank for pointing her in the right direction. He was also doing his own research on the subject but more to do with why some spells, charms and potions seemed to react differently to her and comparing it to Mrs Weasley. According to Severus there were some differences and some correlations between them and it was both frustrating and fascinating him.

She cast a silent tempus and saw that it was nearly three o'clock; the headmistress would be expecting her. So she made the lengthy journey from the dungeons to the head's office.

"KitKat" she murmured to the statue and made her way up. She smiled, knowing that some people wouldn't understand the joke in the password. Minerva had followed Dumbledore's tradition of sweets but added her own twist in choosing a cat themed password.

"Hermione dear, come in and sit." The older witch greeted her. Hermione was curious to note that what she had been told was an informal meeting, involved Professor Snape sat opposite Minerva at the desk. "Oh for heaven's sake girl don't look so worried!"

"Good afternoon Minerva." She smiled at the headmistress. She turned to the dark haired wizard next to her as she took a seat. "Afternoon Sir-everus."

"Tea?" Minerva offered.

"Thank you." Hermione nodded.

"We've asked you here to talk to you about a letter I received two weeks ago." The older witch started. "I'm afraid Professor Gilwing will not be returning in September, he was offered a position in Salem and found the opportunity of work in America too good to turn down." Hermione's gaze snapped to the wizard next to her.

"He's not coming back?" she asked nervously. Professor Snape shook his head.

"It is an inconvenience of course and I knew you would be disappointed since you two were such good friends but the bigger-" the Headmistress stopped talking and narrowed her eyes at pair in front of her. "You do not look very disappointed at all Hermione."

"You were saying Minerva?" the wizard next to her tried to push the conversation forward. Hermione telling the older witch of the DADA Professor's less than gentlemanly behaviour was not really something he wanted to witness. He had actually been hoping that Minerva would have been able to find a replacement, so that Hermione would find out just before the term started along with the rest of the staff. Unfortunately that was not the case.

"No, no Severus...what do you two know that I don't know?" she asked, when the two avoided looking at each other and silence continued she set her gaze directly on the potions master. "Severus, what did you do?"

"Of course, it would have to be entirely my fault." He sneered back at her. The headmistress looked thoughtfully between the two again and seemed to come to some conclusion.

"Was there a disagreement between the three of you?" she asked firmly.

"You could say that." Hermione snorted.

"I see, I knew that he liked you dear, but I hadn't thought that he was the jealous type." Minerva replied. "I certainly hadn't thought he was so set on you that he would leave simply because he didn't want to see you happy with someone else."

"I'm sorry, what?" Hermione asked bluntly, completely missing what the older woman was trying to say.

"I think our esteemed headmistress is under the impression that we are studying more than just potions in the dungeons." He murmured.

"She's thinks _what_?!" Hermione gasped, she felt the heat promptly rush to her cheeks as she turned back to Minerva. "No, we are most certainly _not_ doing what you're implying."

"I feel as though I should be offended." Severus said wryly. Neither of the witches took any notice of him though.

"Minerva, you're right about Gideon...he did like me and I liked him, although clearly I didn't like him enough because he and I seem to differ greatly on our understanding of the word 'no'." She said carefully. "Fortunately, Severus happened to hear the disagreement and convinced Gideon to leave before he could cause me any harm."

"Oh my dear, are you quite certain he would have taken things that far?" the Headmistress asked looking dismayed.

"I have no doubts." Severus muttered.

"He _was_ drunk." Hermione pointed out. "I don't think he wanted to _hurt_ me, I think he just wasn't understanding what I was saying and what he was doing."

"You weren't harmed?" the Headmistress checked. Hermione shook her head. "And you do not wish to report the matter?"

"No, he is gone and I wish to act like it never happened." Hermione replied.

"Alright, then I shall consider that matter closed." She nodded reluctantly. "As I was saying before; the problem is that we are down one Professor. We believe that we may have come up with a workable solution."

"Great, so who have you got?" Hermione asked.

"Me." Severus said.

"What? But...you..."

"Welcome to teaching Miss Granger." He drawled.

"Me?" she gasped. "But I-"

"Severus, will you let me explain properly before you give the poor girl a heart attack?!" Minerva chided. "Hermione, there is no replacement. Our plan is to share out the positions of defense against the dark arts and potions. If you are agreeable we would like to ask you to teach the first three years of potions and first year defense classes. Severus will take fourth through seventh of both subjects which is a little more of a workload than he hoped for but manageable if you are able to help him with some of his marking. Filius is going to take second years and Hagrid and I are going to share the third years."

"But Hagrid isn't allowed to do magic." Hermione stated.

"That is currently on appeal since it was proven that he didn't actually cause the death of a student, although the Ministry is still arguing that having an acromantula in the school was still dangerous we hope that we can at the very least have his restrictions changed to allow him to do magic inside of Hogwarts." Minerva explained. "Although actually, since the third year syllabus is predominantly focused on dark creatures; Hagrid has a lot of knowledge that doesn't require the use of a wand to teach and for the parts that require practical magic, I will be able to step in."

"That makes sense I suppose." Hermione agreed. "I take it you had no other volunteers?"

"To take on more work on top of a live in teaching position in a boarding school for hormonal teenagers, I think not." Severus quipped.

"Several, other members of staff said that they would be happy to help cover odd lessons but not to take on responsibility of a whole year group for the whole year." Minerva explained.

As Hermione and Severus headed back to the dungeons some time later, Hermione couldn't help but ask him about the Headmistress's assumptions.

"When everyone sees that Gideon is gone, do you think they'll all think the same thing?" she asked.

"That you'll be disappointed?" he asked.

"No, not that...that we're-"

"I think it is fairly safe to assume that they will not be leaping to the same conclusion as Minerva." He sneered.

"Why do you say that?" she asked him as they reached the spiral staircase.

"Because I am not a nice person, nor am I pleasant company. I am a dark wizard and you are the golden girl of the wizarding world." He replied as if that explained everything.

"You're wrong." She said quietly, as she stopped in the corridor just before her rooms. "You may not be cuddly and a barrel of laughs but you're still a decent person and as rude as you can be...I happen to find no problem in your company."

"I wouldn't let your little friends hear you say that if I were you." He muttered. She turned back to look at him only to find herself stood uncomfortably close to him. Her eyes met his in a slightly startled look before they both recovered. She studied his now schooled expression curiously and took the time to really look at him.

Once she stopped being afraid of him anymore he wasn't as bad looking, she conceded that he wasn't exactly good looking either but there was something about him that made her heart race, made her think of him in her sleep...

Severus took in her flushed cheeks and wondered what she had been thinking to cause her to blush. Was she worried what her friends would think of their more civil relationship? Embarrassed about colleagues assuming that they were romantically involved? It was then that he noticed that she was nervous.

"I think you would be surprised, you saved our lives on more than one occasion if you remember." She said finally. "You may think you're a dark wizard and I'm sure there are plenty of others out there that think the same, but I don't. Minerva doesn't, Harry doesn't...there are plenty who would call you friend if you let them."

She saw confusion flash on his face for an instant before she found herself pinned against the cold dungeon wall.

"You have seen how corrupted my magic is Miss Granger, you are foolish to think that it can get that way without casting dark magic!" he growled at her. She swallowed and stared up at his incensed eyes. "Friends do little good to someone already dead inside. You should have left me there to rot and instead your stupid Gryfindor need to help everyone got in the way!"

"You don't mean that." She protested, trying not to let her emotions get the better of her.

"I had one purpose to fulfil and it is done, I should be dead! But you," he hissed. "You just had to interfere!"

A year ago, even months ago, Hermione would have been terrified but she knew better now. She knew him. His words said one thing but the fact that she could see him losing control told a completely different story. He had also called her Miss Granger, which sometimes he did because he forgot just as she did but she got the distinct impression that he was distancing himself from her deliberately. She thought about her bad days, those days when she had to cry and let it out to be able to carry on with her life again and wondered if he had those too. She wondered if this was his. Summoning all the bravery her house was famous for she didn't back down, instead she slowly moved one arm from its place at her side up until her hand reached his where it lay fisted against the wall by her head. She loosened his fist until her hand locked with his and squeezed it tightly.

"What do you think you're doing?" he growled. She just kept looking at him and squeezed his hand again.

"I'm holding your hand." She replied.

"You should go into your rooms now." He said firmly straightening himself and taking his arms from the wall.

"I'm not scared of you." She said quietly, almost to herself. She didn't release his hand.

"Apparently not." He agreed. "Still, you should go." She sighed and reluctantly released her hold on his hand; if he wanted to break down in privacy that was his right to do so. He had always been a private person, so he wouldn't want her to see him out of control.

"See you tomorrow Severus." She said softly, chancing one last look at him as she slipped into her rooms.


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Notes: I didn't think I'd get this updated today; I've had a terrible week with my youngest being poorly. I think I've had no more than 2 hours sleep a night for 3-4 days now so I'm beginning to turn into a grumpy cow! Anyway, onto more cheerful things! As you could probably sense from the last chapter, things are about to change! Hermione and Severus are about to go through some changes in their relationship and breakdown some barriers!

Disclaimer: You guys know the drill!

Chapter Seventeen

Hermione couldn't sleep that night. Every time she closed her eyes he was there. She could picture clearly, every single time he had touched her; from the day he had thrown her into the lake to pressing her into the wall tonight. She pictured his bare chest when she had seen him in his office and when she had healed him...

Good God, she was obsessed! How on earth was she going to hide this from him? He obviously wasn't interested in anything romantic with her; after all he would most likely dismiss it as a stupid school girl crush.

She let out a frustrated growl and tugged at her hair, how was she going to face him tomorrow if she hadn't had any sleep. She gave up trying to sleep and threw off the covers. It was midnight, deciding that she needed to relax and that no one else would be around she grabbed her robes and headed out into the dungeons with her wand lit.

Once she reached her destination, she quickly warded the door behind her and started the taps running. It didn't take her long to strip and sink into the colourful bubbles with a loud sigh of contentment.

After her resting in the water for a while, she felt suitably relaxed and made her way quietly back to her rooms to get at least a few hours sleep.

Severus Snape tipped his glass back, savouring the burn of his firewhiskey as it slid down his throat. Granger. Hermione Granger was a complete mystery to him and it was sure to drive him crazy. She had wormed her way into his life, forcing her way from annoyance to colleague and now possibly something akin to friend. His lip curled at the thought, bloody interfering Gryfindors. In fact, even though she was more tolerable now, she was still an annoyance. She tortured his mind now, he found himself thinking of her more often than he should and more than once in a far more inappropriate way than he should.

She was perfect, intelligent enough to keep up with him and stubborn enough to put up with his less than civil nature. So bloody perfect...if it weren't for the fact that she was still so young and innocent. Far too innocent for the likes of him and she didn't even seem to notice!

He wasn't completely ignorant to human interaction, he knew he could have probably kissed her and seduced his way into her bed with little problems tonight. She was young, naive and impressionable in the ways of seduction.

He poured another glass, she was above such treatment. Hermione Granger was better than one heated shag, she would want the whole package and he was most emphatically not the man to give it to her. Lust he was no stranger to, he had sought out lonely witches to satisfy him often enough over the years but relationships and intimacy were not something he was comfortable with. He had never been able to trust anyone with the position he was in for so long and it had left him entirely clueless in that department.

To him, for the past two decades and perhaps most of his life even, showing your emotions was like wearing a weakness for all to see. A big sign saying "this is how to get to me" that he refused to wear.

The image of the young witch stood against the wall in front of him, not struggling, not afraid...staring up at him with those deep brown eyes. He slammed his glad down on the table in frustration and decided that it was time for bed.

"You want _more _blood?" Hermione asked two days later, when he stood in front of her holding a small glass vial.

"Only a couple of drops for testing," he clarified. "Molly also donated some blood for me to test."

"You're going to bleed my dry." Hermione mumbled, holding out her hand to take the needle from him. Instead he caught her finger and pricked it himself before catching the drops in a small crystal vial. "Ouch...why does it hurt more when someone else does it?" She snatched her hand back and sucked her wounded finger into her mouth.

He narrowed his gaze onto her finger for a moment, before bringing his focus back to his research and crossing back to his workstation the other side of the room.

"When you do it you are in control, you know the exact moment you are about to pierce the skin." He replied, using a dropper to place a single drop of her blood into a clear potion on his worktop. "Strange..."

"No luck then?" she asked.

"The magic in the blood is very similar between the two samples. Molly's magic is much more powerful than I ever realised...and I was aware that she was reasonably powerful before now." He murmured, his eyes never straying from his experiments.

"You say the magic is powerful? And similar?" she asked. He made a grunting affirmative noise in response. Hermione thought for a moment longer not sure if she wanted to voice her opinion and risk looking like an idiot, especially since he had most likely thought of the suggestion himself already. "What if Molly was a virgin when she became of age also?" He looked at her in surprise.

"Why have I not thought to ask that question..." he frowned. "I supposed because it is pretty difficult to imagine a virgin Molly Weasley..." Hermione let out a small laugh at that. "Would you send her an owl to ask her?"

"Oh yes, I'll just write 'Morning Mrs Weasley, by any chance did you wait until after you turned seventeen to have sex with your husband? By the way how is everyone? Love Hermione'" she replied rolling her eyes.

"Use my letterhead over there if it makes you more comfortable." He told her, waving his hand in the vague direction of his office. Hermione didn't bother arguing with him since he was obviously already lost in thought.

"Does that mean that Mr Weasley might have gotten a power boost also?" she asked some time later.

"It's possible." He replied. "The sharing of the power raised depends on a couple of factors. We have established that Molly is a very powerful witch and the similarities between your magical signature and hers and the common reaction to certain ingredients and magic leads us to believe that she may have been a pure adult. She was likely to receive a power boost either way once she was no longer pure, however the partner will only gain power if the...love is true."

"You looked like that was positively painful to say." The young witch smirked, heading over to his work station to take a nose at his work.

"Yes well, there are few other ways to explain it. The power boost could also be reflected in several different ways, it could be specific to one certain area of magic or the power level overall or a combination of several new talents." He explained.

"But they've been married for years, childhood sweethearts...they must have been in love." She frowned.

"Casual relations are still frowned upon in wizarding Britain today Hermione, imagine what it was like twenty years ago." He shrugged.

"You're saying they might have married before they were truly in love?" she asked.

"It is very likely. Most of your pureblood peers will be married within the next few years because it is expected, that if they are in a serious enough relationship to be expressing themselves physically, then it should be serious enough to marry." He said indifferently. "Two decades ago, if you were openly in a relationship beyond school, a marriage was expected."

"And I thought the clothes were a bit behind the times." She sighed. "Not that I believe in casual relationships of course but...if you're getting married just because it's the done thing then I don't believe you should marry. It should be the couple's choice; after all it's their day." She picked up a few lose pieces of parchment and scanned the elegant but somewhat hurried writing on them.

"I thought it was the bride's day." He snorted.

"I guess that depends on the bride." She retorted, she smiled thoughtfully thinking about her parents. "My parents got married in their local church with only my Uncle and the old lady down the street for witnesses because their parents kept sticking their noses in and trying to make their wedding into a massive event. My parents didn't want that, so they just went and did it, my mum still had a pretty white dress and my dad wore his best suit...there's a photo of them about to board a train on their wedding day that my Uncle took. They look so carefree and happy in it, so in love that you just know that they'll always remember that day as their perfect day. I want that." Hermione felt a hot splash on her hand before she realised she was crying. How she missed them...

"I am sure your day will come." He said, not noticing her tears or her hands starting to shake.

"But they won't remember it will they?" she whispered hoarsely. Finally he noticed that the witch stood hardly a metre from him was upset. He took in her fingers gasping the edge of the worktop and the wet track on her cheek and moved hesitantly closer to her.

"Why would they not remember such a thing Hermione?" he asked, touching her arm. He knew the answer, he could guess that much already but he needed to hear her say it.

"I took their memories away; they don't know who I am...who they are." She said her voice breaking as she turned into his chest. He almost leapt backward in surprise at her seeking comfort in him. Her hands now gripped his robes and her forehead pressed against his chest. "All those memories that people cherish...like the family days out or just stupid things like sitting around playing a board game or watching a TV show while eating take away...I took them away."

"And you made it irreversible." He sighed, dropping his arms stiffly around her small frame.

"You _saw_ what happened to all the witches and wizards that were considered blood traitors or muggle sympathisers, they couldn't be found." She replied. "If I'd have made it reversible then Voldemort would have still found them somehow I'm sure of it...reversible charms tend to weaken with time and do you honestly think that anything less than a full obliviate could erase a mother's child from her mind?"

"No." He agreed, dropping his chin on top of her head and squeezing her for a brief moment before releasing her and urging her onto a nearby stool. "However...hope may not be entirely lost. Hermione, I am certainly not going to tell you that is possible to reverse an irreversible obliviate, however _if_ it were possible for anyone, it would be you."

"You're going to have to explain that one to me Professor." She said quietly.

"As it stands at the moment, you are a pure adult which means you are more powerful than many witches and wizards, when that is no longer the case you will be even stronger, you also are extraordinarily gifted with charms _and_ most importantly the connection _is_ that of a parent and child. If it is possible, one day for the charm to be reversed, you will be able to do it." He assured her.

"Professor Dumbledore always did say that love was the most powerful magic that we have." She smiled weakly. "I'm sorry about breaking down like that...it wasn't very professional of me."

"I think we can call it a day today." He waved off. "Lunch?"

Hermione couldn't help but be aware of every movement of the dark haired wizard eating on her right. He remained silent throughout the whole of lunch and didn't once look in her direction but she still found herself aware of him. She tried to focus on her conversation with Minerva.

"I have some wonderful news for everyone once all the staff return in September." The older witch beamed at her. "But since you started the whole thing I thought I'd let you in on it first."

"Really?" Hermione asked grinning back. "What did I start?"

"The ministry have been pleased with your apprenticeship and are aware of the staffing issues that we have at the beginning of the school year...also taking into account that good and willing Professor's are often in short supply and few students choose to continue education they have given us funding to take on two new apprentices next year." She smiled excitedly.

"That's amazing!" Hermione exclaimed. "So we won't be so short staffed?"

"Well...sort of. They will not allow us more than two apprentices at once, so we will be advertising for one in September to start as soon as a suitable candidate is found and then another the following September." She explained.

"That way you'll be taking on a new apprentice every year but since an apprenticeship normally lasts for two years, you'll have two apprentices at all times." Hermione nodded.

"The first apprenticeship will be in either charms or transfiguration, since I need to give up my classes to allow more time to my duties as Head Mistress, I also have to step down as Head of House at some point so as not to appear biased. Concessions have only been made due to the lack of staff." She said. "And Filius has expressed the desire to retire more than once in the last year but I convinced him waiting until everything had settled down would be a great help to us. But in the long term not all apprentices will be hired as a Professor here, instead they can go on their way with their new degree and knowledge ready for a position elsewhere."

"Anyone in mind yet?" Hermione asked.

"Not yet." She replied. "It'll be brought up at the staff meeting and then we'll advertise but we will also suggest anyone we think may suit the position and send out an enquiry."

Hermione clutched her stomach unexpectedly as a sharp pain came over her. She frowned and wondered why she would be experiencing pain, when she knew full well that her period wasn't due for another two weeks. The pain fortunately passed fairly quickly and she excused herself politely to make her way outside for a nice walk in the sunshine.

Author's notes: So they have taken the step of admitting to themselves that they want each other :D Not long now until one of them cracks!


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Notes: I am so grateful for all of the reviews guys! It really makes me happy :D I hope you enjoy

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, the books, films, characters and places, not anything else recognisable. I do not make any money from writing this story.

Chapter Eighteen

She stared up at him; his eyes looked darker than ever. His scorching hands pinning hers, offset the chill of the dungeon wall. Her heart felt like it she had been running laps of the castle grounds, as she continued to gaze up at him like a trapped rabbit.

"Please..." she breathed, and then his lips were on hers. His body pressed her against the wall, hot and demanding as his drove his tongue into her mouth. She moaned at the feeling, the sound echoed off of the stone walls around them.

"Hermione." He purred, his mouth dropping to her neck, as he released her arms to wrap his around her frame and draw her hips against his. A thrill shot through her at the feeling of his bulge against her abdomen, causing her to writhe her body against him. He drew his lips back from her to gaze down at her panting against him.

"Don't stop, don't go." She pleaded, her hands clutching at the front of his robes. His arms dropped from her waist and he stepped backwards. She could feel the disappointment rising in her throat as he backed away from her completely. "Please..."

Hermione sat bolt upright gasping in her bed, gripping the covers in her fists. She could feel her insides still clenching with the desire she had felt in her dream. She let out a frustrated groan and rolled onto her front to growl into her pillow.

"I'm getting really fed up of this." She groaned. She rolled back onto her back and let out a huff of air. Her dreams were putting ideas in her head. It was getting harder and harder to stop them from taking over her mind when she was around him. Knowing that he was a master legimens though, she made a rather large effort to keep all of her inappropriate thoughts out of her head while she was around him, lest he see them.

He had made it perfectly clear that he wasn't interested in her that way when he had driven her away before. There was also the fact that he considered her a foolish young girl rather than an available witch. She resigned herself to getting no more sleep in the state she was in, realising it was two in the morning she slipped out of the bed to find her robe. A bath would relax her.

Severus sighed as he placed his mail to one side, so they had finally made a decision...it had taken them long enough. He glared at the open piece of parchment from the Potion Master's Guild for a moment longer, before picking up his quill to pen a message to Hermione.

'_Miss Granger_

_Please meet me in my office following lunch _

_Professor S Snape'_

"What was that bloody house elf called?" he muttered to himself. "Milly!" The small elf appeared in front of him in seconds and he handed her the note. "Deliver this to Miss Granger, as soon as possible. Thank you."

"Yes Sir, Milly does it right away!" the elf fawned before disappearing again with a 'pop'.

He then picked up his research notes and added a few sentences to the parchment. It had turned out that Molly had been a virgin until after she had turned seventeen; this gave him a good point to research with Hermione. Both had been "pure" adults and both had reacted badly to nightshade. What other potential differences would they have to magical situations? Which ones were specific to Hermione because she was still pure, rather than to both because it was a power issue. He found it hard to believe that there could be many huge problems, since Molly hadn't come across many in her lifetime so far. He drafted up a note to send back to Molly asking for a few more details, apologising for the personal nature of the questions but making clear that it was relevant to his research. He wanted to know what age she was and if Mr Weasley was her partner and whether he was affected. He also wanted to know if she had noticed any other changes that happened to her around that time and also if she had noticed anything else unusual about herself over the years.

A knock at his office door interrupted his train of thought.

"Enter." He spoke aloud, surprised when none other than one of the witches in question slipped through his office door. "Miss Granger, to what do I owe the pleasure?"

"I got your note; I wasn't busy, so I thought I'd see if you were in your office now." She shrugged. He found it unusual to see the girl so quiet and assumed that she must be worried about something... "What's the problem?"

"No problem." He replied, finishing his sentence on his notes and then putting down his quill and focusing back on the young witch in front of him. Since she wasn't brewing and it was still the summer holidays, she wore muggle clothes, dark jeans that clung to her hips and legs and a black sweater with her hair tied into a loose ponytail over one shoulder. He couldn't help but notice that her hair still appeared damp and smell of soap still clung to her. Hermione didn't hesitate to transfigure herself a seat from a loose piece of parchment on the desk and he forced himself to focus on the reason he asked to speak to her. "I have a reply from Molly, it turns out that your thoughts were correct."

"Wow, so what does this mean for your research?" she asked.

"That would be telling Hermione." He replied smugly, "When I have worked through some plans, I may feel generous enough to share my thoughts with you, if you've not driven me mad by then that is."

"Charming as always." She grinned, not taking notice of his insults. He wondered exactly when it was that she had become so comfortable in his company, when had she stopped being afraid of him altogether? "I'm guessing that wasn't what you wanted to talk to me about then?"

"No," he agreed. "The Potion Master's Guild have concluded their hearing of your case and come to a decision."

"Oh!" she gasped, suddenly feeling nervous for the news. All of her hard work could be over now...what would she do if they said tough luck? Would she be able to give up her virginity just for her degree or would she kiss goodbye to her potion's degree? She didn't think she could give up such a thing for her education, even if she was seeing someone she would require at least some kind of emotional attachment to the person she would be giving it to and as it happened she wasn't see anyone. She flushed slightly eying the wizard opposite her, if only he could see her as an adult now...although it was probably wrong on many levels to get her potion's master to take her virginity to enable her to complete her potions apprenticeship. "And?" She twisted her hands together in her lap anxiously.

"They will allow you not to complete the Mater Optans potion and still finish your degree," he told her. "However, they want you to brew another fertility potion in place of it."

"Well that shouldn't be too hard, there are lots of them." She said letting out a sigh of relief.

"It isn't quite as easy as that. They have listed three that are not acceptable as they are too simple and also a further two that you will not be able to brew due to your unique situation, much like the Mater Optans potion." He explained.

"Oh..." she huffed. "So we find another one?"

"They have...suggested one for you to do." He said, clearing his throat awkwardly and handing her a piece of parchment with the ingredients list and brewing instructions. He wondered how long it would take her to notice one of the ingredients on the list.

"I've never heard of this potion." She said, still glancing over the instructions. The brewing process only appeared to take six hours but it required two hours of concentrated brewing and stirring at one point.

"It isn't often used, it is one of the most powerful fertility potions that can be made and almost guarantees conception on the first try. It would be brewed for a bride to take on her wedding day, particularly in arranged marriages to ensure an heir as quickly as possible. It causes the witch of ovulate within hours of taking it and the only recorded failures of this potion have been when the wizard was not fertile." He told her.

"Why don't people just use this...um...oh!" she trailed off feeling her face flame.

"I believe you now understand why it is rather uncommonly made, there is an ingredient that many potioneers would not be able to easily acquire. Back in the days when potions were more commonly made by everyone in the home rather than in apothecaries, they would usually involve the bride in the brewing process therefore the ingredient would be available. As you can imagine most potion masters do not have access to this ingredient so it is not a potion made any more. I don't believe I have actually met anyone who has brewed it in my lifetime." He commented. "They seemed most keen for you to replace the mater optans potion with this one, due to the fact that you _do_ have access to that particular ingredient without paying a rather hefty price tag for it. Most of them probably haven't ever seen it brewed, so they are very academically curious. You still have a choice of finding another potion to replace it with though; they did not say it absolutely _had_ to be this one."

"Yes, well...I'll keep my eyes peeled for another in the meantime because if I end up brewing this one, I may have to die of embarrassment." She said quietly.

"No one has to witness the ingredient being harvested, as it were." He smirked, noting how uncomfortable she looked.

"They don't have to, they'll still know." She retorted, sounding quite prudish as she did. "Not to mention _you'll_ know!"

"You'd hardly be the first witch in the world to-"

"I don't care." She said cutting him off. "It's not something I do...I'm not entirely certain I'd be able to "harvest" this particular ingredient anyway...they don't tend to have books on the subject in the Hogwarts library."

Uncomfortable silence followed this admission until her Professor's loud bark of laughter made her jump in her seat.

"Please allow me to send that explanation to the Potion Master's Guild." He chuckled. "I can just picture it now – Miss Granger is regretfully unable to complete the requested potion, not due to lack of brewing skills but because the Hogwarts library does not carry the reading materials for her to gain adequate skills in-"

"Don't finish that sentence! No you may not write to them about this." She muttered. "I'll be leaving now then."

She stood and left his office with as much dignity as she could manage, she could still hear his laughter from the corridor.

Hermione made her way back to her rooms and threw the parchment onto her sofa before leaving again. She made her way up the spiral staircase to the viaduct entrance of the castle before making her way through the corridors to the transfiguration courtyard. She allowed herself to slow as she crossed the grass to enjoy the sun a little before heading back into the castle and upstairs to the second floor.

As felt a wash of sentimental warmth as she made her way into the library. It was empty but she expected no different during the summer. She had a few hours to research before lunch and she was determined. The Gryfindor made quick work of scanning and eliminating most of the books in the potions section of the library and moved onto the healing and medi-witch section. Finding only one potentially helpful book, she moved to the restricted section. This was one of those moments when she was grateful to be granted access to the restricted section.

Three hours later Hermione had checked out two books from the restricted section and made her way straight to the great hall for lunch. It was one of those days when everyone was very quiet. She exchanged a bit of small talk with Minerva as usual and quickly excused herself back to her room to continue her reading.

An hour later and she had to admit temporary defeat; there wasn't enough in the books to help her complete a different fertility potion. She thought back to the occasions when she had been inside Professor Snape's rooms, if anyone in this castle had a book that could help her it would be him.

So she took one last glare at the parchment from the Potion Master's guild before heading in search of Severus with it in hand. The words 'magically infused vaginal secretion from a pure witch' stood out as if taunting her.

Author's Notes: So Hermione has another hurdle in the way of her apprenticeship now. I'm sorry that this didn't involve much in the way of developing their relationship but it will come I promise! This chapter is just another piece of a larger puzzle and also a bit of fun.


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Notes: Howdy everyone! So I've been a very busy bee and not done as much writing as I had hoped, however I did squeeze in this chapter so I hope you enjoy it! As always thank you so much to everyone who has taken the time to read the story up to this point and especially to all of you who have left a review!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the characters, books, films or anything recognisable as JKR's work and make no money from this little story.

Chapter Nineteen

Hermione sighed and stood to put the book back on the shelf before flopping back down on the sofa in defeat. The students would be arriving in a couple of days so she was about to get very busy and lose a lot of her research time.

"I take that as a sign that you have finally given up." A voice called from the doorway.

"No, well...sort of." She admitted. "It's a temporary surrender at least."

"You found nothing?" he asked, removing his outer robe and summoning an elf for tea. Hermione had been amazed when he had not only allowed her to go through some of his books but also left her alone in his rooms, trusting her not to touch what he had told her was off limits.

"Unless of course you want to lift the ban on the books over there?" she asked cheekily.

"No, anything in there will likely have more unsavoury ingredients in it that the option you already have." He told her firmly pouring himself a cup of tea from the tray that had appeared.

"I found a few options but...they aren't overly difficult and I may not even be able to brew them." She frowned.

"No harm in trying." He shrugged.

"Well no...but I just have a feeling that the guild will find a reason that I cannot do it, they will say it isn't hard enough or something else that suits them to get their way I'm sure." She explained.

"I was wondering if you would pick up on that. They don't mean to be complete bastards Hermione, however this is a chance for them to see a potion that in all likelihood none of them have ever seen brewed before. It is old magic, could you imagine brides brewing this on their wedding night with their mother's to practically guarantee an heir?" He asked her. She shook her head. "That does not mean that you cannot ask though."

Hermione had researched and read all that she could about the potion. It hadn't exactly been a commonly brewed potion back in days gone by either, it was mainly used for important arranged marriages to guarantee a swift conception of an heir. Apparently the usual course was for the young bride to bathe and "obtain" her ingredient by thinking of her wedding night to come. She would then be dressed for her wedding night by servants and elves would do her hair in intricate designs with all sorts of ceremonial flowers woven into it. Meanwhile her mother was to brew the potion, sometimes with the assistance of the mother-in-law for the bride to take no more than an hour before entering her husband's bed for the first time. Whilst Hermione had been originally under the impression that the wizarding world was somewhat prudish it would seem that the end justified the means in this case. A lot of couples the world over who couldn't have children, not through any serious problem but just due to low fertility and infrequent ovulation and such problems would easily give much more to conceive.

In her mind, whilst this was an embarrassing task for her to perform she did think that if perhaps she could keep the potion for herself, if perhaps the potion could enable her to conceive despite the curse damage then the end would definitely justify the means in her eyes.

"No I guess not, I'll give you a list of the alternatives that I found to send to them shall I? After all it's worth asking isn't it?" she asked, shaking the thoughts from her head. The internal damage was too extreme for this kind of potion to work; even if this potion could cause her to ovulate, the damage to the walls of her womb was too great to carry a child to term. "I should go to lunch, I missed breakfast already." He nodded sagely and on impulse she gestured for him to follow her. "Come on, you've missed as many meals as I have over the holidays and it's time to get back into good habits."

"Are you ordering me to come to lunch with you?" he asked in disbelief. When she simply gestured for him to stand he rolled his eyes and did so. "What happened to the Hermione Granger who was afraid of me?"

"Long gone, come on hurry up." She shrugged.

"Bloody Gryfindors!" he groaned. "I must be losing my touch."

They made the trip in silence and took their seats also in silence. Hermione was interrupted by an owl flying overhead and dropping a parcel in front of her.

"Oh! What on earth could this be?" she said, eying the parcel curiously.

"More than likely the same as the one I received this morning." Minerva smiled as Hermione unwrapped the package.

Inside she found a book with a picture on the front of the sorting hat, titled "For All Magickind".

She opened the cover to the title page "For All Magickind – a collection of tales of the Great Wizarding War and all its victims alive and dead". She flicked through the pages briefly scanning the contents.

"Luna's articles...she wrote a book instead..." Hermione said softly.

"Oh bloody wonderful..." the man next to her muttered. Hermione ate a few bits from her plate as quickly as she could, so that she could excuse herself. "Oh no you don't! You dragged me here, so you can damn well sit here and eat lunch properly!"

Hermione and Minerva looked at each other and grinned.

"I see that Hermione has learnt how to handle you Severus." The Headmistress said.

"I wonder whose fault that is." He murmured dryly.

"I can't help it that you're just so likeable." Hermione smirked. "Just think, all this time sat here next to you at the table is more time we can bond."

"Go read your sodding book." He snapped, causing her to beam in triumph.

"My heavens...what have you done to Hermione?" Minerva asked, looking appalled. "You're Slytherin tendencies are rubbing off on her."

"Yes, there might be a bit of Slytherin in her yet." He smirked.

"A bit of Slytherin in me would solve a whole lot of problems." Hermione muttered under her breath as she left the table causing the potion's master to promptly choke on a mouthful of his tea.

Hermione sat in her room and got comfortable with Luna's book.

'_I originally started interviewing people about their part in the war to use for an article in the Quibbler, but once I had started speaking to people I couldn't stop. How could I? There was always another story to be told and I wouldn't have wanted to miss someone out. In the end an article just would never be able to say what needed to be said, so I began this book. A year later here it is._

_This book contains interviews, stories and statements directly from many of the people involved in the events of and leading up to May 1999. There are also dedications to many of those not with us today and a complete list at the back. _

_I cannot actually take credit for this book, since most of it isn't my story to tell but these stories needed to be told and someone had to do it._

_I would like to thank those who have provided me with pictures for this book; particularly the pictures taken by Colin Creevey who can't be here today._'

Hermione expected the book to either start with Harry because he was the most famous or to go in some kind of alphabetical or chronological order but in true Luna fashion there was no order.

On the first page she found a picture of Colin Creevey from his fourth year in his Hogwarts uniform with a brief set of statistics followed by the story of how he had been a member of the DA and although he had been expelled for being muggleborn and could have gone into hiding he still snuck back into the castle as an underage wizard to fight for the cause.

Next Luna wrote her story which had Hermione laughing most of the way through, Luna had spent months in the Malfoy's dungeon and despite the terrifying circumstances she seemed very light-hearted about it all. Apparently Draco used to sneak her and the other prisoners food and Luna had been fortunate enough not to have been tortured during her stay there. Her story was then followed by a rather long piece about Dobby. The house elf who had fought against his Master's plans to help Harry Potter, although it began somewhat disastrously his intentions were good. How he became a free elf and then chose to aid Harry and his friends. If it weren't for Dobby Hermione didn't want to think about how they would have escaped Malfoy manor.

This was followed by a small statement made by Narcissa Malfoy who was currently under house arrest for her involvement but free from Azkaban due to helping Harry in the battle. She explained that to her and Lucius they had been raised to see muggle blood as less, it was what they had always known and been groomed to believe. Narcissa herself said that she didn't believe muggles and muggleborns deserved death and torture and never had, but the place of a pureblood witch is to obey her husband and her family, so she never spoke up. She admitted that she would have done anything to save her son. Lucius refused to make a statement directly but had written one that he gave to his wife to relay. Lucius Malfoy was sentenced to a life long term in Azkaban prison for his involvement but due to his wife's change of heart he was allowed a more luxurious stay than most to make his stay bearable but he couldn't hurt anyone else from inside a prison. He admitted to his beliefs and although he wasn't completely sold on the killing and torture he admitted that he did sometimes get caught up in the power lust of it. He had been corrupted by dark magic and the dark lord and to try and leave would mean his wife and son's death. So he stayed and followed orders.

Hermione expected Draco's story to follow but it didn't, instead it was Molly and Arthur's stories, including a piece about Remus Lupin and Sirius Black respectively. This was followed by Kingsley's account of events and the dedications to many Auror's and Order members lost. Neville's account followed, explaining the events of the school while under Deatheater ruling and dedications to all of the students. This was followed by a piece by Blaise Zambini on the Slytherin students. This was followed by a few more accounts from Slytherin students...the children of Deatheaters many of which no longer had any parents.

Hermione read well into the night, she read Ginny's piece and Ron's and hers...all of the staff. She cried most of the way through it, even at the stories of some of the deatheaters. Luna had done an amazing job. So many of the deatheaters that took part in battle and torture had joined the cause while Tom Riddle was still human and charismatic, they had believed purebloods were better but not necessarily that their lowers should all die painful deaths. By the time they realised the extent of Riddle's plans it was too late, he was too powerful and to defy him was death. There were of course those that did truly believe that muggleborns and blood traitors should suffer, that enjoyed torturing and killing them. The ones that killed muggle familes for no reason other than fun. Seeing as how most of these had been killed or kissed there was little written about them.

She was surprised to see that even Severus had given a short statement, it was more of an interview really, Luna had asked him a couple of questions that he confirmed or denied and then he had given a short statement saying that he didn't want any praise; the things he had to do for his position were still soul damning and there was no glory in that. He was however grateful that the whole ordeal was over and hoped to life the rest of his life in peace.

The last two stories were told together. Most surprisingly it was the tales of Draco Malfoy and Harry Potter. They had obviously worked together with Luna on this piece to tell their story from the day they met to the present day. Harry wrote how he had to come to terms with saving a world that he was still trying to learn about due to missing out on it for the first eleven years of his life as well as a long list of thank yous. Draco wrote about the beliefs that he was raised with and how he came to question them, how when he saw a teacher killed in front of him he found it hard to believe that it had happened and then seeing a fellow student being tortured in his home by his own Aunt he had found it hard to believe that she had actually deserved to be tortured just for existing. It had opened his eyes to exactly what the world would be like with the Dark Lord ruling it and made him seriously reconsider his loyalties. They both agreed that they were now on civil terms and although they would most likely never be friends, they held no more animosity towards one another either.

Hermione flicked back through the book at the photos, most amazingly there were some incredible shots of the battle and Hermione was not surprised to find that Colin Creevey had taken some of the photos leading up to and during the battle. There was an amazing photo of the shield going up around Hogwarts and another of the Weasley twins both in action...it was incredible. There was a picture of Remus stood in front of an injured Tonks, protecting her fearlessly to the end. Hermione closed the book with a sob and cried herself to sleep on her bed.

When Hermione woke it was colder and darker in her room, she realised that it was past dinner and groaned as she felt her stomach rumbling loudly. She rubbed her eyes and straightened her crumpled clothes before standing. She noticed an envelope on her table and picked it up.

"_If you wake up before tomorrow come see me. S.S_." Was eight o'clock too late to go and see him? What did he want with her this late anyway...and how did he know that she was asleep?

She straightened herself out and headed to his rooms just down from hers. It was only after she knocked that she realised her feet were cold and noticed that she hadn't actually put her shoes back on.

The door swung open to reveal Severus still fully dressed and much more awake than she was. He moved back to allow her in.

"Sit, eat." He told her, directing her to the sofa where a plate of roast beef dinner sat under a stasis charm.

"Thank you." She said quietly, feeling slightly uneasy about eating alone while he watched but dug in none the less as she was starving. She noticed the book on the end of the table, still sat on the brown paper it came wrapped in. "You got a copy too?" He nodded. "Have you read any of it?"

"I have." He replied. "That is how I knew that you would more than likely miss dinner."

"You knew I'd miss it before I did?" she asked, looking at him in surprise.

"There aren't exactly pleasant memories in those pages Hermione, not to mention that your friends are in it and you have not seen them in weeks." He said gravely. "I would have been surprised had it not affected you. I sent the meal to you assuming that you probably would not wish to be in the hall, the elf told me you were sleeping."

"So that's how you knew I was asleep." She nodded.

"You thought I had snuck into your rooms uninvited?" he asked raising a brow. "Although I could undoubtedly do as much, I would not. Not unless there was a justifiable reason for doing so of course."

"Such as?" she grinned, knowing both of them were avoiding the subject of Gideon when Severus had appeared in her rooms on hearing them fighting.

"I shall let you know when I think of something." He replied, heading over to his desk and sitting over there to work while she ate. She was grateful and had soon polished off her meal.

"I'm not going to sleep tonight now." She murmured to herself, stretching her back out and glancing over to her Professor. She remembered something that she'd seen in the book and realised that she should have paid more attention to it before. She picked up his book from the table and opened it to the page she was looking for. It was a picture of Professor Snape duelling Minerva in the great hall just after the DA and Order had all snuck back into the castle. She crossed the room and placed the book in front of him.

"You didn't fight back." She said softly. "You didn't want to fight her. That's how I knew you weren't truly a traitor and that's why I couldn't leave you to die."

"That could have been a rather large mistake." He said after a few moments silence. "I expected you to be smarter than that, that wasn't much evidence to go on was it?"

"You put yourself between a werewolf and us, even after your past experience. Not a single student actually died during your time as headmaster which seems a bit odd for a loyal deatheater who had killed the previous head master." She said forcefully.

"Hindsight is a wonderful thing." He snorted, standing and striding over to cabinet to pour himself a drink.

"I tried to save you _before_ I knew Dumbledore ordered you to kill him!" she shouted, knocking his glass from his hand in anger. "Why do you spend you your time making people hate you?!"

He turned back to pour another drink and downed it before grabbing her arms and tugging her against him.

"One would think that you would pick up the hint." he snarled. She looked up at him in confusion, his body was pressed against her and playing tricks on her mind. She couldn't think and then he was kissing her, or she was kissing him...she wasn't actually sure which one of them had moved first. She let out a moan as she gripping his jacket tightly, trying to pull herself closer. As suddenly as it had happened it was over. He was pushing her away.

"Out." He said, she didn't move. "Get out now!"

"I'm sorry Professor, clearly I made a mistake." She huffed before leaving and slamming the door behind her. "Asshole!" She shouted and cringed when it echoed around the corridor.


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Notes: So I hope you guys enjoyed the last chapter, these two are finally cracking and it's going to big in a nice big bang :P So stick with it because there's going to be some ups and downs in the next few chapters that I hope you're going to enjoy. This is going to be a bit more of a light hearted chapter I think after the downer that was Luna's book and Severus throwing Hermione out. I might change my mind when I'm done writing it though...I really should do the Author's Notes when I finish the chapter! Ah well, here goes!

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now, I don't own it blah blah blah!

Chapter Twenty

Severus polished most of the bottle of firewhisky off before succumbing to tiredness and heading to his bed. Unfortunately sleep evaded him. He tried reading, tried just lying with his eyes shut and he tried reciting potions ingredients in his head. The same image kept flitting around in his head, Hermione clutching at him desperately.

He had considered the fact that there was an attraction there a couple of times before but he had never planned on acting on it. Grabbing her and kissing her like he did was crossing a serious line in his mind. How could he have lost control like that? She had kissed him back which had surprised him; he hadn't expected to ever know the taste of her mouth or to have felt her moan against his lips.

He had to stop things before he let himself get carried away. A moment longer of her lips on his and he would have been clinging to her like a lifeline and dragging her into his bedchamber. She deserved far better than that. He sighed and stared up at the ceiling; she deserved better than _him_.

Still no matter how inappropriate it would be, no matter how much he told himself he was not going to pursue her in any way...it didn't change the images plaguing his mind. He could feel his body reacting even now.

Eventually he gave up on sleep and made his way to the staff bathroom in an attempt to relax his body's reactions, failing that he could swim until it went away.

Hermione was surprised to see that the dour potions master sat at the table when she went to breakfast the next morning. He didn't speak to her and didn't even so much as grunt or look at her when she said good morning.

"Don't take it personally dear, that was the greeting I got as well." Minerva told her as Hermione took her seat.

"Oh don't worry if I was going to take anything personally it wouldn't be that." Hermione replied. "I'm actually surprised he came to breakfast at all as opposed to sulking in his office instead."

"I do not sulk!" the dark haired wizard barked suddenly. Minerva eyed the younger witch curiously and smiled when Hermione turned and patted Severus on the hand.

"So you are physically capable of talking to me then?" she asked. "Alright, that's fine then. You can go back to ignoring me now."

"I was not ignoring you, you insolent witch." He growled at her. Hermione didn't reply to him and instead finished her breakfast in silence leaving the man to stew. She finished just before he did and bid everyone a good day before excusing herself.

With that she left him and made her way out of the great hall. She cringed to herself as she went, she shouldn't have goaded him like that. Nobody goaded Severus Snape without a death wish but she was just so frustrated with him. He could have just told her no and let them pretend it never happened. He didn't have to scream at her and then ignore her.

No sooner had the doors of the great hall shut behind her than she felt her stomach clench in pain. She gripped at her abdomen with one arm and braced herself against the wall with the other. She had been having these pains on and off for weeks now and there didn't seem to be a pattern to it at all. They had also been getting more painful so once the worst of the pain had passed she decided to go to the infirmary to get it checked out just in case.

She made her way up the staircases to the fourth floor and sat waiting in the hospital wing for Madam Pomfrey to arrive from her breakfast.

"Hermione dear, what can I do for you?" the medi-witch asked as she entered the room.

"I'm sure it's nothing, but I've been having some pains so I thought I'd ask you to check." Hermione replied.

"Alright, over here then lass and let's get a look at you." The older woman said, ushering her towards the closest bed and charming the curtains closed behind them. "Sit up here and explain the problem." Hermione sat on the edge of the bed as instructed and gestured to her abdomen.

"I keep getting pains here, to start with they were just the occasional twinge but now...it's happening more often and they hurt a lot more." She explained. The medi-witch cast a diagnostic charm over her and frowned. She then got Hermione to lie on the bed while she checked her stomach more closely.

"Is there any pattern to the pains? Particular time of the month perhaps or after exercise, after sexual intercourse, eating – anything like that?" Poppy asked.

"No, no pattern at all." Hermione replied.

"I can't find anything at all wrong with you Hermione." The medi-witch sighed. "I will have a look into any tomes I can find for anything similar but...for now I can't find anything. Will you come back to me if it continues?"

"Yes, of course." Hermione nodded, feeling both relieved and disappointed. She was relieved that there didn't appear to be a problem but worried that she was having pains that she couldn't explain.

Hermione made her way back along the fourth floor to staircases and then started the trek down to the dungeons; she didn't mind that the staircases moved a couple of times today since she wasn't in much of a hurry. She thought back to her grouchy Professor and sighed; he needed someone. He made it quite clear that he wasn't interested in any kind of romantic relationship with her last night but that didn't mean she was giving up on him. She hadn't been sure who and initiated the kiss but she assumed that since he pushed her off that it had been her that had made the first move. She couldn't believe she had been that bold but that wasn't exactly the point.

Severus Snape didn't want her and it stung. She couldn't help the fact that she felt a little wounded about it. It wouldn't keep her away from him though; he needed someone that saw through his cold exterior. If she couldn't be anything else she was still his colleague and hopefully his friend. She wanted to be there for him when he needed her...she would just have to learn to keep her hormones in check next time.

It wasn't until she reached the dungeon corridor and the potions lab that she realised something – he cared about her in some way too. She didn't want to read too much into it since he did push her away and kick her out of his rooms just yesterday but...he had made sure that she had dinner when she had missed it. It wasn't a massive thing but it _was_ something. He had thought about her when he didn't have to. He could have had an elf leave the food under stasis in her room for her; instead he had invited her to his...why? She blinked in surprise to herself; he had wanted to check that she was alright.

She set up her work station still deep in thought and never noticed the object of her thoughts entering the room until she heard his office door shut. She glanced at the closed door in disappointment, so he wasn't done avoiding her yet then.

She got out her notes and started brewing from where she had left off. She was hoping her second experimental potion would also be a success. With the students returning in mere days her time was about to get very limited.

Fortunately a couple of hours later her efforts paid off as she found that although she hadn't finished her potion most of the experimental ingredients were added already with so far no negative effects.

"BUGGER!" came a shout from the other side of his door. Frowning he made his way quickly around his desk to the door to check on the girl. He shouldn't really have left her while she was experimenting but he knew her presence would distract him from working as it was so he wouldn't have been paying a great deal of attention to her cauldron.

"Bugger Bugger, bugger bugger!" Hermione chanted as she gathered anything on her desk that hadn't been ruined by the cauldron boiling over.

"Miss Granger, if you are quiet finished?" he drawled. She turned to look at him and flushed in embarrassment.

"Sorry, I'm just getting really annoyed now." She groaned. "I _thought _I was going to finish it today and instead...well...the result is fairly obvious."

"Quite." He agreed. "I suggest then that you perhaps take a break for lunch and try again this afternoon?"

"You know what the worst part is?" she asked, dumping the dirty cauldron in the large metal tub. "I was two ingredients away from finishing it _and_ it gets even better than that! The ingredient that caused _this_ – was salt! Three pinches of stupid salt! An ingredient that can be found on the table with fish and chips and it blows up my potion!"

Severus felt his lips quirk of their own accord while he watched her stomp around the room in her rage. She was brilliant. She was so enthusiastic and so caught up in her work, so driven...he didn't know how he had ever thought anyone else would fit this position. He couldn't imagine anyone storming around his classroom, his store cupboards...anyone but her.

"I'm sorry, I'm done now." Hermione said finally. "I just really wanted to get another potion out of the way before the school year started."

"Perhaps you have now learnt the result of rushing your work?" he asked her.

"Yes, yes." She sighed. "Lunch then?"

"I shall be going up shortly, I must finish the essay I was on before your racket made itself known." He replied. Hermione nodded and made her way out. She was glad that Severus was still willing to speak to her after what happened. She had been worried that he would avoid her forever. It was strange; in the last nine months as his apprentice she had learned a lot about the man that so few knew anything about. Now she couldn't imagine not having him around in some form or other just to share witty banter with.

She had to laugh to herself at that thought, what would Harry and Ron have to say when she went to the burrow this weekend?

"You're looking in good spirits this afternoon Hermione." Minerva greeted her as they met at the entrance to the great hall.

"Actually yes, I suppose I am." She replied.

"Most unusual that, since she was ranting about her ruined potion not five minutes ago." A voice came from behind them.

"The walk clearly did me good." Hermione laughed. "I think ranting helped actually; I can see why you do it so often."

"I do not rant." He snorted indignantly.

"Oh Severus, a bigger lie was never told! You manage to make students cry with your rants even in the summer holidays." The headmistress retorted as the three reached their seats. "How are you feeling about starting to teach next week Hermione dear?"

"Nervous." She replied honestly. "Even if it's just the classes that know me already, it won't take long for them to realise that Professor Snape is busy teaching Defence and not in his office..."

"Do not let _them_ know that you're nervous for Merlin's sake as I will not be in either the classroom or the office to use as a threat, they'll eat you alive once they find that out!" Severus commented rolling his eyes.

"Can you honestly tell me that you weren't nervous teaching your first class?" Hermione asked him, lifting her drink to her lips.

"Fortunately Slytherin's are not well known for their honesty." He replied smugly. Hermione saw the headmistress' lips quirk on the other side of her as she stared at her potions master in disbelief.

"You know sometimes I forget that you're a Slytherin." Hermione replied with a straight face. "Sometimes I think you should have been in Gryfindor." Silence fell over the staff table as Severus looked like he'd swallowed a lemon whole for a moment. Soon the sniggers began and then the whole staff table was laughing at what was potentially the worst insult Hermione could have possibly given the head of Slytherin.

"Yes well, I think we all know precisely how misleading that old hat can be." Severus replied. "After all Hermione whilst your foolish bleeding heart may be befitting of your house we all can attest to the fact that your thirst for academics belongs in Ravenclaw and of course your conniving female ways would firmly put you in Slytherin."

"I like to think of it as embracing house unity." The young witch said cheekily. Minerva let out a rich laugh at that.

"Oh Severus, I think you're rubbing off on her a little too much!" She chuckled. "Please do try not to ruin my Gryfindor would you? I was rather hoping that she would be a future head of house."

"Oh I think that Hermione would consider Slytherins to be much better that Gryfindors, don't you agree?" Hermione saw the way he was looking at her and pursed her lips. He was calling in his bet.

"Oh yes Professor Snape I totally agree with you." She said with a big smile and silence fell across the staff table once more.


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Notes: Alright guys! Things are getting interesting and lots of things will be coming to a head in the next few chapters. I hope you guys like it. I almost didn't manage to get a chapter done today as the hubby was at work all day today when we had soooo many things to get done and it's 10pm England time so I'm cutting it close! I probably won't get another chapter finished by at least Friday but I'll see how it goes

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the books films or characters and places etc. Oh hell you guys know the drill!

Chapter Twenty-One

Hermione let out a sigh of relief as she corked her last vial and slumped onto the stool behind her. She had finished her third experimental potion. All that was left was for her to test it and record her results. Her apprenticeship was nearly finished; all she had left to do was a final exam and the fertility potion that she had been putting off.

"It take that to mean that you have finished?" a voice asked from the other side of the room. Hermione nodded and glanced up at the potion's master marking at his desk. The first term of the year was nearly over, not a moment too soon either. This term had been particularly stressful for the staff as they were trying to juggle the Defence Against the Dark Arts position between, Severus, and the other staff. She knew that she had been practically frazzled, trying to complete her apprenticeship, as well as teaching the younger years in potions. January would bring her final exam as well as her gradually taking over more classes so that the extra staff would be back to their normal roles. September would bring her the position of Hogwart's Potion's Mistress. She was both excited and terrified!

Fortunately, the younger years that she was currently teaching were fairly easy to keep under control, part of her dreaded trying to control the seventh years next year.

"Nearly there." She smiled, taking one of the vials over to his desk. As her mentor, he would need to study her potion and write up his own findings of it. She would give anything to know what he had written about her potions so far but until her degree was completed he wasn't allowed to discuss it with her. Then again he was a pretty private person, so he probably wouldn't discuss it with her anyway.

"And yet you are still putting off your last potion?" he enquired, glancing up at her. She felt her cheeks flame and turned her attention to tidying her workstation.

"How is it fair that because I happen to be a witch, I get the option of losing my virginity or well...you know?" she mumbled.

"I never said it was fair Hermione." He replied.

"Yes well, it's embarrassing." She frowned.

"Why not try to think of it as yet another rare and extremely expensive ingredient, which you get access to for free?" he asked her. "They are academic masters, they will not be thinking about _how_ you obtain the ingredient, they just want the chance to see a rarely made potion."

"I suppose I should stockpile vials of my blood while it's still valuable really." She said thoughtfully. "Not that there appears to be any rush on that front." The last part she muttered more to herself. She placed her unused ingredients back into the store cupboard and then made her way over to the desk. "It's past dinner time; you should stop and eat something."

"Are you under the impression that I have been unable to feed myself for the past four decades?" he smirked.

"Well...I doubt you fed yourself for the first couple of years at least." She grinned, gesturing for him to follow her, presumably to her rooms. "Besides, if you get to look after me on occasion, then you are obligated to allow me to return the favour."

"Very well witch, we shall call the kitchens for food." He relented. "But we shall be eating in my rooms, they're bigger." With that he stood from his position behind the desk and swept his way to the classroom door.

"What is it with men and size?" Hermione muttered under her breath.

Less than ten minutes later found the pair sat by the fireplace tucking into a warm meal. Hermione was just grateful that the fireplace was currently lit, as even after spending the past year in the dungeons, she wasn't used to the cold yet.

"Are you going to the order's Christmas gathering?" she asked, breaking the silence.

"The Christmas meeting is one which I am certain Minerva will not allow me to avoid." He replied.

"Why can't you just say yes?" Hermione laughed.

"You are forgetting our bet Hermione." He murmured his lips quirking slightly. "At least it will provide me with a little entertainment, since I am being forced to endure a bunch of festive Weasley's."

"I hadn't forgotten." Hermione sighed. "I don't expect you not to take advantage and insult someone, but could you please, please not take things too far? Please don't actually _hurt_ anyone, they're my friends and the closest thing I have to family."

"Do you think me so cruel as to make them hate you?" he asked stiffly.

"No, I don't think you would do it on purpose." She replied carefully, putting her finished plate on the table. "However, you do tend to get carried away when it comes to Harry and Ron." He seemed to grunt in response to that.

"Are you spending the holiday at the burrow?" he asked.

"Not the whole holiday, actually it won't be the burrow at all." She smiled. "I'm going to Grimmauld Place Christmas eve and staying there. I'll be returning here at some point on Boxing day, or possibly the day after."

An elf appeared to take their finished plates away and offer them desserts, which they both turned down in favour of a cup of tea.

"I trust you will be setting homework for the holidays?" Severus asked her.

"No." She grinned. She waited a moment to enjoy the horror on his face before putting him out of his misery. "I will be, but what I will not be doing is setting extra homework because it is Christmas. I have set them the usual amount."

"It will do I suppose." He muttered, taking a sip from his tea cup.

"I'm not you Severus; you're the one who told me that I would have to learn how to teach in my own way alone." She pointed out. "Before long I'll be doing it all by myself...that's actually rather terrifying."

"Where is your Gryfindor bravery?" he sneered.

"Must have used it all up." She shrugged. "Besides you heard Minerva, she says that you've ruined me."

"What a tragedy, her little pet Lioness being ruined." He smirked. "She chose you as my replacement, so in my opinion she made her own bed there."

"Well, you have a point." She grinned, putting her tea cup back on the table. "How could anyone spend so much time around you and not pick up some of your habits? It was to be expected really. Still, I think I've benefited from a few Slytherin traits...maybe one day I'll out Slytherin you." He snorted at her cheeky suggestion but didn't say anything.

They sat in a calm silence for a little while longer. Once the teapot was empty Hermione stood to leave, she didn't want to outstay her welcome. Severus stood to see her out and the two stood awkwardly at the door for a moment before Hermione stepped into the hallway.

"I'll see you at breakfast then." She said softly. "Goodnight." She didn't wait for a response before walking the short distance to her own rooms. Once inside she let out a large breath. She didn't understand it at all... When she and Severus were busy and talking they were like old friends, like partners and it was easy. When they were close to each other with nothing else to distract them, things were awkward. When standing next to him saying goodbye, all she wanted to do was grab hold of the front of his robes and kiss him.

She opened her book at the last play she had been reading and curled up on her sofa to read before bed. Unfortunately, every few minutes she found herself distracted. Thoughts of her only kiss with Severus plagued her mind, just as they had regularly since it had happened. By the time the clock over the fireplace told her that it was ten o'clock, she gave up reading.

"Another bath it is..." she grumbled, grabbing her bed clothes and heading on into the corridor.

She made it to the staff bathroom in record time and practically slammed the door before spelling the taps on straight away. She dropped her pyjamas onto the bench and hung her robe on the hook before stripped down. Her clothes vanished the moment they touched the floor and she climbed into the still filling bathtub. She sat in the centre on the bottom of the tub until the water rose enough for her to sit on one of the seats on the side walls and still be in the water. It was warm and bubbling and relaxing. Perfect.

A bang caused her to turn her head in the direction of the door. She froze in shock as she saw none other than the occupant of her thoughts facing the door to cast a locking charm, which she had clearly forgotten in her haste. Much to her surprise he started disrobing, revealing his bare back to her and by the time he turned around he was about to drop his black trousers.

He suddenly seemed to notice her and also froze, his hands gripped on his trousers that hung undone, rather low on his hips. She couldn't help but eye that small trail of black hair that led down inside his trousers.

"Miss Granger, have you not heard of locking charms?!" He barked, yanking his trousers up.

"I must have forgotten, I obviously wasn't thinking clearly." She shrugged. From where she sat in the water he couldn't really see anything, at most he'd see her bare shoulders, arms and possibly the slight glimpse of the side of her breasts. "You obviously weren't either; you didn't even notice me sat here in the bath until you were half naked." Realising that his shirt and jacket had vanished upon hitting the floor along with his shoes he reached for his robe.

"I shall leave you in-"

"You don't have to leave." She interrupted quietly. He turned to face her in disbelief. She flushed; she couldn't believe she had just said that. Still, no backing out now...

"Surely you-"

"Can't see anything?" Hermione cut off his protest. "Look, this bath is big enough to swim in; if you're over one side and I'm on the other, neither of us will see anything important. Besides I come here most nights for hours to relax...if you need to relax anywhere as near as much as me, you won't want to wait hours for it."" He didn't say anything. Hermione sensed that he was at least considering the idea. "And of course I've already seen you half naked, so why not think of this as evening the score? Unless you're shy?"

"Bloody shy...I'm not some bloody Hufflepuff." He muttered.

She knew that she had reached victory when he turned and hung his robe back on the hook. What she hadn't expected was for him to suddenly drop his trousers to hang up also, giving her a full view of his backside.

She couldn't believe not only had her goading worked but that she was now staring at the back view of a very naked Severus Snape. She felt her stomach clenching at the thought of him turning around, even as her face flushed in embarrassment for staring. She couldn't help it. Her eyes were magnetized to his form, scanning from his bare feet on the tiled floor to his muscled shoulders where his hair fell to.

"Bloody woman." He groaned, knowing he'd fallen for her words the moment he hung his trousers up. She had egged him on, goaded him and he had acted like a foolish Gryfindor and done exactly what she wanted. Regaining control of this situation he called out to her. "Unless you feel like stand out here for me to inspect every last detail of your unclothed body, you will turn your back."

"Alright, I'll turn around." She replied. She grinned as she slipped off of the seat and turned in the water to face away from him. "I'm not looking." She heard the water moving around as he got into the tub and waited for him to tell her to turn around.

She jumped and let out a gasp as she felt arms slide around her waist and pull her flush against him. Her heart rate hit the roof. She wasn't even sure if she dared to breathe.

"It is dangerous to play games with Slytherins Hermione." He murmured near her ear.

Author's Notes: I apologise right now for leaving it there but I don't have time to finish writing the next bit so I figured a short update was better than no update. I promise the next chapter will be worth it


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Notes: I was really sorry about the cliffie at the end of the last chapter! I really was! I'm normally not one for such evil cliff hangers but the next part was going to be too long for me to finish in time to update yesterday. So to make it up to you guys here I am updating on a Monday, the very next day because I felt so guilty about it! I have literally been squeezing in slots of ten minutes here and there to get this done for you guys. Thanks to everyone who has read and reviewed the story so far. I am absolutely stunned that it's gotten so much interest

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Chapter Twenty-Two

Hermione couldn't bring herself to move. Part of her wanted to turn around and throw her arms around him, kiss him and beg him for more. The other part of her was terrified and confused. He had pushed her away last time they had kissed. He didn't appear to want anything more with her...but here he was. Suddenly it dawned on her that they were both naked. He wasn't just close to her; he was as close as he could get without being inside her. She felt herself heat up inside and out and her cheeks flamed.

"Shy Hermione?" he asked her.

"Yes." She admitted. He loosened his hold and started to back away from her, knowing he'd won this round. She stopped him from moving back by holding his arms around her waist. "Don't go."

"I was moving back to the other side." He clarified.

"No, stay." She said quietly. She took a deep breath and turned around to face him. "Just because I'm shy that no one else has ever seen me naked doesn't mean I don't want..."

"Hermione no, that wasn't what I was implying." He said, shaking his head. "I wasn't expecting anything from you."

"I know." She said. She reached out and pressed her hands to his torso, sliding them up his chest until they rested on his shoulders. "I just don't want you to keep pushing me away. We don't _have_ to do anything, now probably isn't the most appropriate time for that but...I _do_ want you. You can't see anything important anyway, don't go."

"Are you certain?" he asked quietly, his gaze locking with hers. She met his gaze determined and nodded. Without further delay he pressed his hands into her back, bringing her closer as he bent down and covered her lips with his.

He felt his body responding to the kiss and tried to keep enough distance between their bodies to prevent her from feeling the evidence. He had spent weeks, months fighting an internal debate over this witch. He had been coming here to swim at night to fight off his body's urges for weeks also. Curious that she should forget to ward the door and that it was him to find her, if she hadn't looked so utterly shocked he would have thought that she had done it deliberately...it almost made him wonder if the castle itself had a hand in it.

Seeing her bare skin, even though most of it was covered by the water, had affected him greatly. She was beautiful. She was not the perfect hair and face kind of beautiful, not the kind that draws all the attention but still...she was beautiful in her own way. He had been fighting it so hard, now though he just let the voices in his head fall silent for a moment so that he could kiss her.

Hermione clutched onto him tighter as his lips moved over hers, he coaxed them open until she could taste him. Her kissing experience was rather limited but it surprised her how much it didn't matter, it wasn't awkward at all. Returning his kiss came naturally to her and soon the fact that they were both naked was no longer embarrassing to her.

Her hands trailed back down his chest, hovering over the scars she felt for a moment before he pulled away from her.

"We should stop." He told her quietly.

"Don't go." She said quickly, refusing to let him go completely.

"As you wish." He nodded, "But since now is not the time for such activities..." He drifted off as he tugged her through the water to the side of the tub so that they could both sit for a moment.

"Do you come here a lot?" she asked him quietly.

"Most nights." He nodded.

"Me too...although usually I come a lot later than this." She mused.

"That would make you the late night bathroom hog." He murmured.

"I mainly come here to relax and unwind when I-" she stopped talking before saying something embarrassing and reworded her answer. "can't sleep." It was still mostly the truth. He just didn't need to know that she needed to relax because he wound her insides tighter than a loaded slingshot.

"I imagine our reasons are the same." He nodded. "But since you shall be spending several days away for Christmas, I will get this all to myself."

"And the rest of the staff that stay." Hermione pointed out.

"The rest of the staff very rarely use this bathroom." He smirked wickedly. "Too close to the cold dungeons." Hermione let out a laugh and looked up at him, he wasn't quite as pale as she had always thought he was...or perhaps he had just got more colour to him now that he wasn't under so much stress...or injured. She let her eyes roam his bare shoulders and arms and thought back on the previous times she had seen him less than fully dressed. He was more built than she had expected before she had seen otherwise, not massively built of course but still defined. He may not be the most handsome of men but he was certainly manly, there was this attraction to him that drove her crazy. "Yes Miss Granger? Is there some problem with my shoulder that requires such thorough inspection?"

"Sorry, just thinking." She replied, shaking her head. "Why do you push everyone away? Actually, I can understand not wanting to just let everyone in but...why not at least a select few? Everyone needs at least one true friend Severus. You've already had a pretty miserable start in life and if you spend the rest of it alone you're going to stay miserable."

"Habit." He muttered.

"No, it isn't." She countered. "You may not have been able to trust anyone when you were walking both sides of the fence but now... Being a private person may be habit, liking alone time is habit but not letting anyone in at all and pushing them away when you obviously don't want to...that's not a habit.

"What makes you think I don't want to?" he frowned.

"You do." She shrugged. "Sometimes when we're talking you can lose yourself, you seem to let your guard down and truly enjoy the company; then the next moment your shields are up, the moment has passed and I don't know when I'll see that side of you again." Hermione could see he was uncomfortable with the conversation and began to fear that he would bolt if she continued the serious questioning. She decided to take pity on him and suddenly splashed him before ducking under the water and soaking her hair.

He put his arm up to block the splash and when he looked back at her he found her surfacing from the water. Her hair clung to her back and shoulder in damp waves, drops of it ran down her face as she turned to grin at him. He had to wonder how on earth this young, brilliant and gorgeous witch could want him? How did he deserve such a thing? Surely he was far from worthy of both her friendship and her desire?

"You know if you keep calling my Miss Granger, I'm going to have to start replying with Professor, and in this kind of situation that would be incredibly awkward, don't you think?" she laughed.

"You are my apprentice; this situation could still be considered somewhat inappropriate and awkward." He replied, for where he sat against the side of the tub.

"Funny, it doesn't feel awkward anymore." She mused, attempting to doggy paddle around in the deeper parts of the tub. She couldn't help but remember that it was only just over a year ago that he _was_ her Professor teaching her to swim. In fact it was under a year ago that she had her last lesson with him...although it wasn't potions of course it was their survival skills lessons but still.

"Do you ever stop thinking so hard?" he asked her, she snapped out of her thoughts immediately, realising that he was closer than he was before. He stood a few paces from her now. "You are not too afraid to attempt swimming in here?"

"I can just about touch the bottom, not to mention the water is clear and clean; that is somewhat less scary than the black lake." She replied.

"And yet, you still swim like a drowning kneazle." He snorted. Ignoring him she made her way over to the shallower end of the tub with the taps to wash her hair. She found herself feeling more uncomfortable by the second as she leant back working bubbles into her hair. She flushed realising that she would need to rise up a little further out of the water to reach all of her hair, especially to rinse it. He would get a clear shot of her breasts, out of the water. She told herself that it was fine; she would just turn her back so that all he got was a glimpse from the side. It wasn't that she _didn't_ want him to ever see her naked, of course she did; it was more that she hadn't imagined it happening like this, she had imagined him undressing her and ravishing her body as he did so. Reality was somewhat less romantic.

Severus realised that Hermione was now making her way up the slight slope further, drawing herself up out of the water more and revealing her back to him. The sight of her hair wet and clinging to her, the water thick with bubbles; sliding down her back to the curve of her behind that was still below the surface, had him almost groaning aloud. He cursed himself, that witch over there wanted him; at the very least she wanted to visit his bed at least once, at best many times. What the bloody hell was he doing floating over here like some moronic, hormonal teenager?!

Hermione gasped as she felt hands at her waist again. This time he hadn't wrapped his arms around her or pulled her flush against him; instead he began to slide his hands reverently over her sides, kneading her flesh gently as he did.

"I'm not going to push you away Hermione, at least not tonight." He murmured, pressing his lips against the skin of her neck. He urged her to step sideways a few paces, until she stood under the clean water that would rinse her hair. He began to help her rinse it, enjoying the chance to run his fingers across her shoulders and back.

Hermione had been almost frozen in shock until now, suddenly desire washed through her stronger than she had ever known and she spun herself around to face him. She no longer thought about or cared about the fact that he would see her bare breasts and snaked her arms up around his neck to drag his lips down to hers.

She was glad she had a tight grip on his neck because feeling his tongue snaking its way around hers, the slight hairs of his chest just brushing against her breasts had her feeling rather wobbly on her legs. She heard a small moan and realised in surprise that it was her; it didn't sound like her, it sounded sexy and erotic. Upon hearing her small sound of approval his arms came tight around her, like bands of steel; he drew her tight against him, his chest to hers, hardness driving against her soft stomach. She groaned louder this time, embracing everything that she could feel in that moment.

She was almost appalled at herself when she realised that her hips were bucking at him slightly, almost demanding that he take her. Fortunately he seemed to be more in control than she was and drew his body back from hers slightly. He trailed his lips across her shoulder and collarbone, making her skin feel like it was breaking out in goosebumps. His hands ran smoothly across her sides again before one found its way up to feel the swell of her breast. He palmed the soft flesh gently, not squeezing or twisting or groping, just softly massaging it between his fingers. His other hand gripped her hip before her backed her further up the slope until her back pressed against the wall, water now only reached her thighs.

He kissed her lips again and she practically sighed in relief, she was wound so tightly; surely she just snap into hundreds of pieces if he stopped kissing her, if he left her now. She gasped into his mouth as she felt him touch her mound. No one had touched her there before, she couldn't help but feel a little nervous but as his hand carefully stroked the entire of her lips, it didn't feel anything but wonderful. His fingers grew more focused on the top of her lips towards her clit, he didn't touch it directly yet but the feeling of his fingers rotating over and near it had her inner muscles clenching.

She began to wonder if it could feel this good touching herself. She had thought about doing it several times but been too embarrassed to try it before, after all she had been in a shared dormitory for her Hogwarts years and in either her parents or the Weasley's home just felt disrespectful...not to mention in a tent with her two best friends would have been so embarrassing had they have ever known. So it was just something that she had never got around to trying, perhaps she could have when she moved into her own rooms but she had already got into the habit of showering or bathing or reading instead.

His fingers began to caress deeper, spreading her lips to feel more of her heat. He stroked from her entrance to her clit a few times before she felt him pressing them into her. She couldn't help but tense slightly at the intrusion but as she felt them move inside her she realised it wasn't uncomfortable and just felt amazing.

"Severus please..." she whispered, daring herself to reach out to his most intimate place. He revelled in the feel of her hand gasping his length for a moment before releasing her breast to gently pry her hand away.

"Not tonight." He told her, his eyes bore into hers and his fingers resumed their caresses inside her. "You have waited this long Hermione; you owe it to yourself to be very certain."

"What if I am?" she breathed, closing her eyes in pleasure from his actions

"Then you will still be certain tomorrow." He replied. She couldn't help but feel disappointed at his decision but she didn't push him. She feared he would pull away from her but he didn't, he continued to press his fingers into her, thrusting deeper now that she was panting from his ministrations. It felt incredible and she wished that it could never end.

He seemed to move and find a new spot inside her that made her jaw slacken with a loud moan. What was he doing to her? Who knew that it could feel this amazing? Were all men this good or just him? Did that mean he'd done this lots of times before? The more he stroked that spot the less she could think and suddenly it became difficult to stand on her own legs, difficult to breathe even. He seemed to notice and braced her tighter against the wall, pinning her with his body. The something happened, a wave of pleasure rolled through her, then another and another...they got stronger as if building and just as she realised what was about to happen she cried out as her whole body tensed. Wave after wave of hot, tingly ecstasy flowed through her; her toes curled, her fingers gripped, her eyes screwed shut. She felt the shuddering ease and the waves ebbed away and slowly she came back to herself.

As she dazedly opened her eyes she found dark ones staring back at her. His hand left her and left her throbbing; he reached behind her neck and tugged her to him to kiss her again.

"You are so beautiful." He murmured against her lips. She wanted to deny it, she knew she wasn't anything special...but Severus Snape never gave compliments, so she had to reason that somehow he must find her beautiful. Their kisses slowed to a more lazy pace and then he released her. "You should go to bed."

"But I-" she stopped her own protest mid sentence. He had pretty much told her that she could come to him tomorrow if she chose. "Alright." He helped her rinse off any remaining bubbles before they climbed from the tub. He was behind her and she felt like she should be embarrassed about him seeing her naked bottom but after what had just happened, she wasn't. In fact she wanted to stay naked and have him take her on the floor but didn't say so. Severus summoned clean towels for them and buy the time she had wrapped a towel around her and turned to face him, he had a towel securely wrapped around his waist. She was a little disappointed that she hadn't gotten a proper peek before then.

The two got dry and covered in silence before Severus unwarded the door and held it open for her. Their silence continued, it was beginning to make her feel awkward but as they reached her door he simply reached out and stroked her jaw for a moment.

"Goodnight Hermione." He told her and with that he continued down the hall to his own door, leaving Hermione to close her bedroom door behind her and in the privacy of her room a huge grin slipped onto her face.

Author's Notes: OK, so I hope that makes up for the cliffie yesterday. Although it was incredible to see that one chapter get over 25 reviews...maybe I should tease you more often lol. No I don't usually like doing it because I know I hate it when it happens in a story I'm reading. So there won't be a chapter until at least the weekend now because I put off work to write and need to catch up!


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Notes: So I'm thrilled that you guys all loved the update. All of these reviews have given my inspiration a kick up the butt and got me writing more. I was beginning to run out of steam but thanks to you guys it's back! Amazing what a few reviews can do isn't it! Seriously though I am actually stunned that this story has over 300 reviews! It's more than I could have hoped for, so thank you all so much!

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter...obviously.

Chapter Twenty-Three

Hermione woke up with a big smile on her face. There was hope. She wasn't expecting any romantic declarations from Severus Snape any time soon, but him wanting her in return was a good place to start. He was a private man that rarely opened up to anyone, she could wait.

She made her way to the hall for breakfast and flushed the moment she spotted the dark haired wizard in his usual seat. Cursing herself for having all the tact of a fourteen year old version of herself, she made her way to her seat.

"Morning Minerva, Severus, Filius." She grinned. "The hall is looking a bit empty this morning."

"It's the Christmas holidays dear, the students will be lying in, I imagine." Minerva smiled. "You seem happy this morning, are you heading over to the burrow later?"

"No, I'm going to Grimmauld place on Christmas eve." She replied. "I've nearly finished my apprenticeship and there are just a few more things I'd like to get wrapped up before the New Year."

"That's wonderful news Hermione." The headmistress beamed at her.

"You still have one potion left to brew." Severus pointed out, interrupting the conversation.

"I actually wanted to talk to you about that later." She nodded. "Can I stop by your office after lunch?"

"I suppose I can make time then." He nodded. The two witches looked at each other and smiled. That was Severus Snape's way of saying he had nothing better to do.

Hermione spent the morning in Hagrid's hut with him, catching up on the latest events and passing on greetings from Harry and Ron. Hagrid always managed to make her smile, it was almost as if she were still eleven years old when she came to visit him...although that could have something to do with his size of course.

It was a wet day, by the time she had walked back from Hagrid's; she was soaked and freezing. She cast a drying charm and headed down to her rooms to warm up by her fireplace, heating charms only went so far.

She lost track of time after picking up a book to read near the fire and ended up missing lunch completely. So after making sure that she was presentable, she made her way down the hallway to the potion's classroom. She didn't bother knocking and headed straight in, pausing at the open office door to knock on the door frame.

"You missed lunch." He stated, he held out a small envelope to her. She approached his desk and took the envelope from him. "This arrived for you."

"It isn't Harry or Ron...doesn't look like Mrs Weasley or Ginny either..." she mused, before opening it. She froze as her gaze went straight to the name at the bottom of the letter.

'_Hermione,_

_I can't begin to apologise enough for my actions. I make no excuses for my behaviour. As I'm sure you've gathered by now, I will not be returning to Hogwarts. I thought that would be best for both of us. I want you to know that I've never done anything like that before and obviously don't intend on doing so again. I can never apologise enough, not only for what I did but for running and for not having the guts to apologise sooner. I have tried to write to you so many times but couldn't find the words. I have stopped drinking altogether for the time being, I clearly can't be trusted to keep control of my actions. I don't dare to ask your forgiveness but know that I truly regret what happened. Be safe Hermione, be happy and never settle for anyone less than you deserve. You are truly amazing._

_Gideon'_

She let out a sigh and dropped the letter onto Severus' desk for him to see. He hesitated to pick it up and looked to her for permission. She gestured for him to read it and he did so. She transfigured the nearest piece of parchment into chair and sat patiently.

"Alcohol is not an excuse." He said finally.

"I didn't say it excused him Severus, but it is a reason." She replied. "I haven't exactly forgiven him but even you have to admit that it was out of character for him." He made a non-committal grunt in response. "I just want to get on with my life and forget the whole thing really."

"Then do so." He agreed. "He's right though, you should never settle." He looked pensive and she knew what he was thinking. He had known that he wasn't good enough for her, he was dark and damaged and she was still pure even after all she had been through.

"Don't start." She told him. "I _know_ what you're thinking and I don't want to hear it. It's not like we've even discussed what happened last night, so don't start backing away before we've even decided anything."

"Very well," he replied stiffly. "You wanted to talk about your potion."

"Yes, but that can wait." She waved it off. "I don't want to get ahead of myself here but I don't want to try and make something work that won't either. I think we need to talk about what happened. I'm not saying I want to start putting labels on things and planning everything right now but I at least want to know how you feel and if there is any chance you want this to continue beyond what has already happened. I don't want to let myself set my heart on something more if that's not what you-"

"Do shut up woman." He snapped cutting her off. "This is hardly an appropriate conversation for my office. Come." He led the way to his rooms, where he made quick work of summoning tea. "Well, sit down then." She hastily followed his command and sat on the sofa by the cup and saucer he had placed for her. "You insist on having this conversation?"

"I do." She replied, a bit more timidly. "I'm not saying we have to decide...that is...I just want to know that I'm not chasing a hopeless cause here."

"I think hopeless cause sums me up rather well actually." He snorted. "I'm not a nice man Hermione. I am too dark for you."

"Shouldn't that be my decision to make." She countered.

"You have seen the affects my years of service to the dark lord has had on me." He said gravely. "I do not think my soul will ever truly be in the light again."

"I have no false illusions of you suddenly spouting romantic declarations to me." She agreed. "My question is do you trust me, or rather trust me to the extent that you could call me a friend?"

"I suppose. given that you will no longer be my apprentice soon and that I can tolerate you a great deal more than most of my colleagues, friend is probably the most appropriate term." He nodded. Her lips quirked at the face he pulled on saying the word friend aloud.

"Good, because I consider you my friend." She smiled. "My other question was, given that I _was_ your student, do you think that you could feel attracted to me?"

"I think that part was rather obvious." He retorted. She didn't say anything but felt heat creeping to her cheeks as she remembered the night before. She looked down to inspect the tea cup held in her hands. "Of course I find you attractive Hermione, I'm still a man, I would be blind not to find you attractive physically."

"But physical attraction doesn't always equate to the same thing as a...um..."

"Sexual attraction?" he drawled, causing her to flush more. "Personality wise you could be a lot worse."

"Well, with that kind of compliment I don't know where I ever got the impression that you weren't a romantic." She laughed. He narrowed his eyes at her and leant forward in his chair to stare at her more seriously.

"Hermione, I find you attractive but I was being very serious." He said gravely. "I am not a nice man and seriously doubt that this could ever go anywhere emotionally. I'm too old and bitter to start my romantic life now."

"Oh yes, positively ancient!" she grinned wickedly. "It's a shame that you only have a hundred or so years left really."

"Impertinent witch." He muttered.

"Well, it was a pretty useless argument really." She laughed. "Surely I should be more bothered by your age than you, considering my heritage and that I'm the younger party here? Since I can tell you it doesn't bother me, why should it bother you?"

"I am around two decades older than you. That's twice your age," He pointed out, "Hardly so small a gap that we can just sweep it into the broom closet."

"You know most men would just consider themselves lucky that a young witch wanted to jump into bed with them." She murmured wryly. "You may be nearly twice my age now but in twenty years time that will only be a third, another twenty and it'll be a quarter and even then you'll still have half of your life left to live. Seriously, in the magical world age is nothing. You know full well that if I were in my thirties and you in your fifties no one would so much as bat an eyelid."

"How old are you actually?" he asked. She knew he would ask that question eventually but it didn't make her any more eager to answer him.

"I can't be certain." She replied cautiously. "I should be nineteen but that's not what you're asking is it? I've gained at least a year, but no more than two."

"And precisely how long have you had possession of a time turner?" he asked tensely.

"Not the whole time. I was given it at the start of my third year, I gave it back after that because I had over used it somewhat." She explained. "Minerva gave it back at the start of my apprenticeship because she knew we were starting behind schedule to start with...I've been a lot more careful this time. I've only really used it to catch up on sleep on occasion."

"Giving a third year a time turner was completely moronic." He spat out. "Ridiculous. You were a child! They should have known that the kind of overuse that _you_ would put it through would age you significantly compared to your peers! A lot happens during those first few years of adolescence, jumping a year was putting you at severe risk of being found out."

"Which is why I gave it back." She nodded. "That was one year, could you imagine if I had kept it and in the remaining four years of school aged twice that?"

"You would have truly been nearly a decade older than your peers." He nodded.

"Very noticeable, not to mention I don't really want to waste my years. Thanks to being a witch I won't have to worry about wrinkles for an extra decade or so than most people, I don't want to waste that by using up all my years at once. You have no idea how tempting it was for me to ask for it back during the events of the war but I was informed that the events to come would shape history as they were meant to and that it was not my place to interfere." She suddenly grinned. "We've gotten off topic. Well done, how very slytherin of you."

He let out a short bark of laughter. "I should have known that you would catch that. Very well, what did you want to say now?"

"Actually, I was going to jump back to the beginning again." She smiled. "As long as you agree not to push me away, I'll leave whatever kind of relationship we have for a debate another day."

"Alright, I can agree not to push you away...for the time being. I make no promises for further ahead than that." He nodded, placing his now empty cup on the table.

"That'll do I suppose." She agreed. "So, back to my potion; I need your help."

"You haven't found an alternative potion?" he asked. She shook her head. "And you think I can help you find one?"

"Actually...I think finding an alternative is probably useless." She sighed, placing her own cup on the table. She noted the widening of his eyes as he comprehended her meaning, before his face was schooled into its usual expression. "They are going to be pretty set on me completing this potion."

"The brewing instructions were not beyond your skill level." He commented carefully.

"That isn't what I need your help with." She replied.

"If this is going where I think it's going, I do not think me helping you would be wise." He said. "You are still my apprentice Hermione, which makes such actions somewhat unethical."

"Hear me out." She insisted. "This is embarrassing enough so just please listen." She didn't dare look at him, if she was going to say this, then she would have to almost pretend he wasn't even there. "One of the reasons I was so against this potion was because I wasn't sure I _could_ obtain that particular ingredient. Before yesterday I'd never...um...I'd never actually-"

"Orgasmed?" he asked. She bit her lip and shook her head. "Never?"

"No, but not just that I'd never really even...touched myself." She replied. "I mean I shared a room with a group of other girls for years, and then of course being in a tent with Harry and Ron with next to no privacy...it wasn't that I never thought about it, I just never really felt comfortable enough with _where_ I was to try it."

"I suppose that is understandable, although most of your peers would just implement silencing charms. Or actually in many cases they didn't bother with those." He wrinkled his nose at the thought of how many teenagers he had caught in compromising positions alone or otherwise over the years.

"I know some people aren't really bothered where but from what I've been told it usually takes a bit of practise to learn what works and considering that all I'm going to be able to think about is gathering an ingredient, somehow I don't think I'll be able to relax enough to...well you know what I'm trying to say."

"I can understand how that would make it hard to reach the desired outcome, knowing how hard it is to shut your brain up for more than five seconds." He agreed. "I had a question of my own actually. Your scar, why wasn't it visible last night? I assumed you would use glamours when your clothes don't cover it in front of others but it wasn't visible when I arrived either."

"Did it ever occur to you that may I don't like looking at it?" she croaked out. He leant forward enough to take her hand, in a surprising moment of tenderness on his part.

"You should be proud of your scars Hermione, they show what you have faced and defeated." He told her.

"I didn't do much defeating though did I? I just lay there screaming while Dobby helped us escape and died for it!" she protested.

"Nothing made that elf happier than serving Harry Potter, can you think of a death that he would have rathered?" he asked her. He saw the tears filling her eyes, before she ducked her head and slid to the floor in front of her so that he could look up into her face.

"What about no dying at all?" she asked.

"He would have died one day, this way his death means something." He said, his other hand sliding onto her leg. "You should be proud for what you did, you didn't crack under Bellatrix's wand and you still kept fighting after that. You did not run, you did not hide."

"Harry needed me." She said quietly.

"Is that why you don't even like to say the word muggleborn anymore?" he asked.

"It is the reason for this...I wish I wasn't-"

"But you are." He said firmly. He released her hand and reached for her chin, making her look at him. "You are, and you always will be. Even coming from a world away from the magical one you are _still_ one of the most powerful witches of your generation."

"I can't look at my scars without remembering." She shuddered.

"I will make you a deal Hermione." He said, meeting her eyes with his intense dark ones. "I will help you on one condition. No glamours, not for you, not for me."

"I...there are more..." she whispered.

"It doesn't matter. Do you think that your scars make you any less attractive?" he asked. "Do any of my scars affect how you look at me?"

"No." She croaked, flushing again as she noticed his nearness. "But men are allowed to be manly, women are supposed to be beautiful."

"The only opinion that matters is yours Hermione." He told her. "If you can learn to find yourself beautiful then what other people see shouldn't matter."

"So...you'll help me?" she asked. He nodded. "When did you-"

"Forget the potion, I will worry about that." He told her, standing and tugging her to her feet. She found herself stood toe to toe with him, her chest brushed against his with every breath. "Go and relax, read whatever it is you do with your spare time. Come back here eight this evening."


	24. Chapter 24

Author's Notes: I had previously hoped that this would be a much longer chapter; however I'm not going to be able to finish it to where I originally wanted. So it's sort of a half chapter and the next chapter I hope to do on Wednesday so please forgive the wait but I'll be as quick as I can. I figured something was better than nothing!

Disclaimer: Harry Potter isn't mine of course!

Chapter Twenty-four

Hermione couldn't relax. How could she, when she knew that in a matter of hours... Well, she didn't know exactly what was going to happen, if she were honest with herself. After all, he had agreed to help her but that could mean almost anything. Her imagination was in overdrive. Would he have her strip and insult her on how to pleasure herself? She could just imagine his deep, drawling voice directing her in every move. She shuddered and shook her head.

He could simply do the same as he had last night. Maybe he'd let her return the favour, touch him...feel every part of him. Perhaps they would even get carried away and go all the way. She was pretty sure that she would be ready to lose her virginity, if it were with him. She was attracted to him, she cared about him and most importantly she trusted him. It wasn't like she was holding onto her virginity until she got married or bonded but she didn't want to give it to just anyone either. Severus Snape wasn't just anyone.

Severus Snape was a brave man, a loyal man. He was a powerful wizard, more intelligent than nearly anyone she had met. He was a little lost, a little broken...just like her and so many others. He was a bit dark, but so was she. Maybe she wasn't dark magically speaking, she couldn't claim to have gone to the depths that he had...but she had seen too much death and pain to ever be the same. She may not have been casting the level of dark curses that he had, but she had cast hexes and jinxs with dark intentions. She had wanted to hurt the people that hurt her, that hurt the people she cared about. Severus Snape had walked on the dark side and still come back to the light, even when it seemed that the Dark Lord was at his most powerful. Knowing that the Dark Lord would kill him painfully if his treachery was ever discovered he had still gone into fold at every call of his dark mark. He never went back on his word. He was an honourable man, he deserved the chance to bring light back into his soul and Hermione for one didn't agree with him, that it was too late to save it.

The more she thought about it, the more she thought that Severus Snape above all others deserved such a gift. He would be the one to share her first time, if he would accept her that is.

She was able to sit in calm thought for a while after this decision, even evening meal was pleasant. She was starving after having missed lunch and dug in whole heartedly. She talked happily with her colleagues, Severus included. It wasn't until she looked at the clock on the way back to her rooms that she panicked. Suddenly she had just over an hour before meeting Severus.

She quickly showered and washed her hair. Trying to tame it afterwards was a slightly harder task and she soon gave up and put it in a bun out of the way. Severus knew what she looked like and he had said no glamours, so she settled for just a bit of muggle foundation and lip gloss. She wasn't very good at doing any makeup more complex than that anyway.

She now had to decide on clothes. She didn't want to go overboard but knowing what she was going to his rooms for...she wanted to look as attractive as she could. She finally settled on one of her usual pencil skirts, that she wore for working but paired it with a muggle vest top and cardigan instead of her work blouse and jacket. She quickly rummaged for clean underwear finding the sexiest pair she could, a pair Tonks had brought her or her seventeenth birthday. They weren't overly lacy or revealing, a simple pair of royal blue silk briefs and matching bra with a small bit of black lace trim on the edges. They were actually one of her favourite sets of underwear, the silk made her feel sexy without feeling silly. One Christmas Ginny had brought her a red lace thong that she had never worn because it just seemed silly to wear such a thing with no one to wear it for...it also looked a little tacky, in her opinion anyway.

She briefly wondered if Severus would like the red thong on her but thought that it would firstly look like she was trying too hard and secondly it was a very Gryfindor colour. She quickly put her outfit on and looked at herself in the mirror. She was nervous but fairly satisfied; she looked almost like she had just relaxed her work clothes, rather than put lots of effort into looking nice for him.

She felt silly thinking that. It wasn't that she didn't want him to think he was worth her putting in effort of course, but she didn't want him to read too much into it when it already felt like he would bolt at any sign of emotional involvement.

She should probably be offended by that, but she wasn't. It was just what he was like and she knew he did care about her on some level; he wouldn't try to push her away otherwise.

Deeming herself appropriate she made her way down the hall to his rooms and took a deep breath before knocking. Her hand paused before tapping surface for a moment. She hesitated, then took another deep breath, before forcing herself to actually knock this time. He answered a moment later and stepped back or her to enter.

"Are where might I ask is that beaming smile from this morning and even at dinner?" he asked, taking his usual seat and gesturing for her to do the same.

"Hiding." She said letting a smile grace her lips, although not at full force. "Probably in the same place my inner Gryfindor is." She flushed at her own admission and Severus smirked.

"Nervous?" he murmured.

"A little." She admitted with a cringe. "Sounds very childish, I know. Still, that's your fault for actually setting a time and leaving me hours to over analyze."

"Ah, but anticipation is half the fun." He smirked, handing her a glass of firewhisky. She wrinkled her nose a little as she took a large swig of the amber liquid.

"Is that why we're sat here talking?" she asked shyly.

"No, that was to give you time to back out." He replied evenly. He placed his empty glass on the table and stood. "Come." He said, holding out his hand. Hermione took a deep breath and placed her hand in his as she got to her feet also. His hand squeezed hers firmly, before he led her through an archway to his bedroom.

His rooms were bigger than hers, she wondered if it was a perk of being Head of House or the years he'd spent here, or perhaps hers were smaller because she was technically just an apprentice. His living room was big enough to hold the massive bookshelves lining the walls either side of the fireplace, the sofa and two arm chairs, the small coffee table and a desk and chair. His bedroom wasn't actually separated from the living room by a door, just an archway, but it was still a very separate room, large enough for a double bed, wardrobe and bedside table. There was a door in the bedroom leading into what she assumed was the bathroom. Her room was simply the one room containing her queen sized bed, wardrobe, a small dressing table and chair and then a small sofa and side table near the fire and her bookcase by the door.

Her observations of his rooms were cut short when she felt his hand slid to her waist and tug her close enough to nuzzle at her neck. She felt goosebumps spread across her skin as he pressed a kiss against her shoulder.

"For once in your life Hermione, stop thinking." He murmured, trailing his lips up her neck to her ear before turning her head so that their lips met. Hermione relaxed more as he kissed her, kissing she could do. Kissing was easy and took her thoughts from her, replacing them with nothing but want and heat.

His hands found their way under her jumper and top, stroking at her bare skin. She couldn't help but squirm a little, they felt cold against her flushed skin but warmed up very quickly. She groaned into the kiss as his tongue slid over hers, coaxing hers back with it into his mouth. Then it was as if someone flicked a switch. Her hands gripped at him, his fingers tightened his grip on her. They clung as close together as they could possibly get, pressing chest to chest, hips to hips, mouth to mouth.

She felt like they had far too many clothes on and started trying to pry open the buttons of his coat impatiently, without her lips leaving his. A difficult task for her unpractised fingers, fortunately he took pity on her and assisted in removing his coat and then his vest and shirt followed it to the floor. He manoeuvred them towards the bed, tugging her jumper over her head as they went, breaking their kiss. He took in her wide eyes, flushed cheeks and ragged breath for a movement before swooping back down to kiss her again.

Hermione found herself running her hands shyly across his bared skin, feeling every muscle or soft bit of flesh in turn. She hesitantly sat down on the bed when he put a bit of downward pressure on her shoulders. He dropped to his knees so that he was still near eye level with her and lifted her vest top over her head and tossed that aside also, then urged her backwards on the bed. She shuffled backwards a bit and leant back on her elbows, as he crawled onto the bed with her. Her eyes drifted shut at the feel of his skin pressed against hers.

She wondered if she would have any luck encouraging him to take her fully tonight. Would the potions guild be able to say anything, if she were to just brew the original potion on the apprenticeship syllabus? It would seem like a whole lot of hassle had happened for nothing...

"Stop thinking." He murmured against her lips. Her eyes flew to his dark ones. "Believe me Hermione, the whole thing is much better when you do not question it. Don't question anything unless you are genuinely unsure or afraid. If you change your mind or if you become uncomfortable with something, then you must speak up or find a way to let me know but otherwise. Just. Stop. Thinking." As a skilled hand slid across her bra covered breasts, pausing only for a moment to caress her she did indeed stop thinking.

His hand continued its downward path across her stomach. His lips ducked down her neck and throat to the tops of her breasts, trailing kisses and licks between them and down her stomach. He reached the fastenings of her skirt and before she knew it, he was sliding her skirt from her body.

He stopped for a moment, once again taking a moment to take in the young woman sprawled across his bed. It wasn't a common occurrence for him, let alone with someone so young, beautiful. She had been true to their agreement and not worn any glamours, he could see the scar on her arm as well as another running from the inside of her right breast down to her hip. That must have been a pretty severe injury... He also noticed what looked like teeth marks on her legs and arms.

Hermione had noticed him staring and found herself ashamed for the first time so far. She had be able to get caught up in the moment until now and hadn't really thought twice about being bared to him. Seeing him staring at her now, she was painfully aware that she wasn't wearing any glamours and fighting the urge to reach for her wand.

Seeing her hands reach up in a move to cover herself, he held up his hand to stop her. He had stared too long, she was nervous again.

"Do not cover yourself. I want to see you." He told her, leaning back down over her and kissing her again. "Can you not see my marks also?" Hermione nodded slowly, taking a moment to really notice his scars. She tentatively reached up to touch the scar on his neck.

"Such a small mark left from..."

"I have you to thank for that." He murmured, touching the scar on his chest next. "This one also. The others aren't so pretty." Hermione couldn't help but smile. Pretty was not a word that she had ever expected to hear fall from Severus Snape's lips.

"Can I see?" she asked quietly. He didn't reply, instead he lifted himself from her and moved to lie on the bed next to her on his front. Hermione could see the angry marks immediately. Claw like marks that dug into his back. She sat up and reached out to touch them. "Are there more?" He rolled over and she could see a thin line on his upper arm, probably from a slicing hex or enchanted blade.

"There are more, I will show you later." He told her. "Don't worry about the marks Hermione. If a mark on your skin is the worst that that bitch could leave you with, when she is gone from this world...who was the stronger witch Hermione?"

"I didn't kill her." Hermione said softly.

"It doesn't matter." He told her.

"There is more damage." She admitted. "This one." She touched the long line across her front and shuddered. "It caused internal damage...I'll never have children, unless I use a muggle procedure to implant fertilised eggs...even then I'm not sure."

"I'm sorry." He said, kissing her neck. This wasn't going to plan. He had wanted her to open up to him, to feel beautiful even with her scars bared. To feel like she didn't have to hide from anyone... Instead this was becoming something else. It was too emotional.

Hermione seemed to understand that the time conversation had finished and wrapped her arms tightly around him as his lips met hers again. The sadness that she had felt was quickly replaced by passion as his tongue thrust ruthlessly into her mouth and his hips ground against hers. Yes, the time for conversation had definitely finished.

Author's Notes: Again I'm very sorry for this "filler" like chapter, it's only half of what I wanted to do but it's been taking soooo long! So I'll get the next chapter up in literally one or two days for you I promise!


	25. Chapter 25

Author's Notes: OK so there is drama in this chapter, for better for worse these two are about to clash again and they are each going to come to their own shocking revelations.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the fandom, books, movies or characters etc. I make no money from writing this story. It's just for kicks!

Chapter Twenty-five

Severus couldn't believe that the young witch beneath him was so damaged, not the scars; the scars didn't bother him in the slightest, it was mentally. Hermione didn't believe that she was attractive, he knew that many witches had issues with their appearance but Hermione seemed to believe that because she wasn't the most beautiful girl in school and she now had scars on top of that, that no one could possibly want her. Didn't she realise that not every wizard had the same idea of what was attractive? Didn't she realise that wizards and witches all found completely different things attractive; after all she was for some bizarre reason attracted to him.

He wouldn't say that he was without attractive qualities exactly, he had managed to seduce a few witches closer to his own age over the years; but he had played on his strengths, his voice, his experience and the fact that they had seen him as dangerous. It was somewhat more surprising to find that such a young, attractive witch with her whole future ahead of her, who had seen her share of darkness, would find him attractive. Still, he certainly wasn't going to complain that she found him attractive enough to be underneath him right now.

His hands roamed the soft flesh beneath him and he reflexively bucked his hips, pressing against her hot centre. He pulled back slightly, without letting his lips leave hers. This gave him enough room to slide his hand down to her front to the waistband of her knickers.

Hermione hadn't even noticed the path his hands had taken until he cupped her, sliding his fingers gently over her centre a few times, before he withdrew slightly. He grabbed the waistband of her knickers and tugged them down her hips insistently. His lips left hers as he leaned down further to remove them. He slid one hand awkwardly underneath her back to undo the fastenings on her bra, to allow it to be pulled from her body also. His lips found a sensitive spot on her hipbone to nibble and kiss, drawing a groan from the young witch. His hand resumed its exploration between her legs, he stroked her slowly and deliberately, before probing her entrance slightly to gather the nectar there and spread it over her lips. He stroked her faster now that she was more lubricated; he smirked against her skin when he heard a loud gasp from her lips, letting him know that her sensitive spot was ready for him. He circled her clit with his fingers and she began to pant.

Hermione let her eyes drift shut at the feelings the dark haired wizard brought her. Her hands felt a little lost now that she couldn't grip him and struggled for purchase in the sheets below her. She felt him bite at her hip some more and then she wasn't really sure what he was doing. She came undone; she could only just remember to breathe before she let out a load whimpering noise and felt all her muscles tense. Then her body was on fire with ecstasy, the waves of pleasure flew through every nerve for a few moments before beginning to recede once more. Her body shuddered slightly as she recovered and began to come back to reality.

After carefully pocketing the corked vial, Severus found he couldn't help himself – he bent lower and pressed his tongue against her. He had to taste her. Nothing could be more erotic than watching such a young witch in the throes of ecstasy brought on by his hand, save possibly being inside her to feel those inner muscles tensing around his cock. He growled slightly at the thought and began to lick her in long lazy strokes, tasting her essence with each swipe. She continued to groan and pant under his caresses until her orgasm faded. He slowly eased off and pulled away.

"I'm sorry I forgot tha-" she started suddenly.

"Done." He interrupted, retrieving the small glass vial and handing it to her.

"Oh...I didn't even notice..." she flushed.

"I believe I shall take that as a compliment." He smirked, stalking up her body again and kissing her. She couldn't control the buck of her hips as she felt his body slid along her again. She still wanted him. Even after the absolute bliss she had just experienced, it wasn't enough; it would never be enough until she felt him inside her.

The dark wizard kissed her languidly and his hands roamed her body, squeezing the skin of her waist, her hips. She felt so incredible under him, it took all his self control not to tear off his clothes and drive into her fully.

"Please..." he head her breathe. He glanced down at her to meet her lust filled gaze. Her hips ground against him torturously. "Please, I want-"

"No." He said abruptly. Her pleading for the very thing her wanted to do had shocked him back to reality. This was most empathically _not_ how she deserved to lose her innocence. Not to him, not here, not now. She deserved love. She had held out this long for an emotional connection and he couldn't give her that. "You're not thinking clearly Hermione. I will not take advantage of your current state; you will only regret it later."

"No!" she protested. "I wouldn't regret it!"

"You deserve things that I cannot give you. We have discussed this before." He pulled away from her and moved to sit on the bed next to her, partially turned away from her.

"I am so sick of your lack of self worth Severus!" she snapped, grabbing the blanket from the end of the bed to cover herself.

"This isn't about my self worth nor my lack of it, this is about you." He told her. "You waiting for it to be special, you waited for it to mean something."

"It _does_." She countered, grabbing her clothes from the floor. "How can you imply that it would mean nothing? Am I nothing to you Severus? Should I go back to calling you Sir now? Was this just part of the curriculum that you felt the need to help me with?"

"Out." He said bluntly, tugging his shirt on and turning his back on her before he lost his temper.

"No." She replied, putting on her own clothes. "We aren't done."

"I can't love you." He said quietly. "You deserve love and I cannot love you."

"Can not or will not?!" she snapped, grabbing her jumper from the floor and storming from the room.

Severus sighed and dropped backwards to lie on his bed. That hadn't gone exactly as planned. To be honest, had she not begun to beg him for more he probably would have let his own arousal get away from him and gone through with it.

He covered his face with his hands. Why did women do nothing but confuse and frustrate him?!

Hermione paced her room for a while before grabbing a cloak. She needed to leave. It was the holidays, so she didn't _need_ to be here. She could finish her last potion when she returned, for now she just needed to get out of the castle. She headed up the spiral staircase and into the viaduct entrance before heading up the stairs to the corridor. It was times like this she wished that her fireplace was connected to the floo network, but it wasn't yet because she wasn't a officially a Professor yet. It would not be connected until September when she took over as Potions Mistress full time. She didn't want to worry anyone else by using their fireplaces so she went the one place that she could think of...the defense office. It was cold crossing the transfiguration courtyard and she momentarily wished that she had changed clothes.

It seemed to take forever to reach the defense against the dark arts classroom; she made her way to the back of the room and up the stairs to the office. Luckily for her, the wards admitted her into the office as she was currently teaching the first year defense class.

The moment that she stepped out at the burrow couldn't have come sooner and she promptly dropped to the floor in front of the fireplace and broke down.

"Hello?" a voice called from upstairs.

"Who's there?" another voice.

"What's going on?" another voice.

"Go back to bed Ginny dear." Molly's voice said. "Your father thought he heard something."

"What's wrong Gin?"

"Ginerva Weasley! What have you been told about boys sleeping in your room?!" Molly demanded suddenly. "I specifically told you that Harry is not allowed to sleep in your room in this house until I see a ring on that finger!"

Hermione got to her feet and wiped her tears away, as she saw a lit wand coming down the stairs. She saw George and smiled sheepishly at him.

"It's only me." She said. "Sorry for waking everyone."

"Don't worry Mum; it looks like you scared away the burglar!" George shouted up to his mother. "I thought you were going to meet us at the burrow at the end of the week?"

"I was." She replied biting her lip. "I changed my mind."

"Snape was an arsehole?" he asked. "He always is at Christmas." Hermione couldn't help it, a sob slipped out and the tears came back full force. George was beside her in a heartbeat, pulling her into his arms tightly. "Hey, 'Mione...what on earth did he do?"

"He didn't." She sobbed. "That's the problem." She knew other members of the family were gathering downstairs without even looking but couldn't bring herself to be embarrassed enough to stop crying.

"Oh Hermione." Molly murmured, pulling her from George and into a motherly embrace.

"So what exactly did the git do or not do?" Ron asked.

"Nothing." Ginny replied quietly. "She did."

"Did what?" Ron asked.

"Oh Hermione, you didn't?" Harry sighed, stepping closer to his friend.

"Didn't what?!" Ron asked loudly.

"She fell in love with him." Ginny replied.

"She what?!" Ron stared between his sister and the crying witch with his eyes wide.

"I did." Hermione whispered. "I do...I love him." It felt like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders just from admitting it. She hadn't even known it until she had seen the way Molly had looked at her with such sympathy. Both the Weasley witches had obviously seen it coming before she did.

How could she have been so stupid? She knew she cared about him, she knew that she was attracted to him but to fall in love with Severus Snape?! Fortunately, no one seemed to be spouting their negative views on the man or questioning her sanity...she was actually surprised about that.

A short while later Molly and Arthur had ushered everyone back to their rooms. Hermione went to Ginny's room with her and as soon as the house was silent Harry and Ron snuck into the girls room where she was already filling Ginny in on the details. Not the intimate details of course but the over all picture.

"Hermione...I'm sorry." Harry sighed. "I saw that you liked him...I just hoped that you wouldn't get this far."

"I know you guys don't like him but-"

"This has nothing to do with my opinion on him." He corrected. "What I think doesn't matter...not if you're happy but Hermione he-...his heart closed off a long time ago and I don't think he'll ever be able to open it again."

"I know...I really have a thing for hopeless causes." She whispered.

"Well, I happen to still think he's a git. Not to mention that he's old!" Ron spoke up.

"Yes well, the age gap is a bit but not impossible." Hermione said through tight lips. "Still I suppose it's all moot now anyway."

"So...what did he say?" Harry asked.

"Oh I haven't told him." Hermione replied. "We had a moment of...attraction. Then he shut me out, said he could never love me... I didn't even realise until I got here that the reason I was so upset was because I loved him."

"What on earth could be attractive about Snape?" Ron asked, wrinkling his nose in distaste.

"His voice." Ginny piped up. "Plus the older man thing."

"Extremely intelligent." Hermione added. "Not to mention brave and honourable."

"And he's a potion's master so he must be good with his hands." Ginny smirked, causing the boys to screw their eyes shut, as if to block out the thought. Hermione felt herself begin to flush heavily at the thought of the older wizard's hands and what they had been doing mere hours ago. Part of her wished so much that they had been able to continue what they were doing. She desperately wanted to see and explore the places under his clothes. She was curious what it would be like to return the favour...what it would feel like to have that part of him in her mouth or inside her. Why was he so determined not to let her in?

"Hogwarts to Hermione, hello?" Ginny murmured, nudging her to get her attention.

"You know what, it's fine." Hermione said suddenly. "If he wants to keep shutting me out then that's fine, I'll let him. I can't keep putting myself out there for him...I'll drive myself crazy if I do."

With her mind made up Hermione climbed into the bed with Ginny and the boys went back to Ron's room.

Severus wasn't surprised that Hermione didn't make it to breakfast. He had upset her and her anger hadn't hidden the hurt in her eyes from him. What did surprise him is that he felt bad about upsetting her, really bad. He frowned at the thought, not only was he going soft but it appeared he had actually grown attached to the little witch.

"Is our Hermione having a lie in or overworking herself this morning?" Minerva asked him, a little while later.

"Why should I know?!" he barked.

"Your rooms are on the same corridor as hers Severus, you were the most likely one to know." The headmistress replied, narrowing her eyes at him. "What have you done?"

"And why Minerva do you assume I must have done something, simply because your little Gryfindor chose not to join us for breakfast?" he asked smoothly.

"Because you sounded rather defensive." She replied. "Very well, I'm sure you wouldn't have been foolish enough to repeat your mistakes." Severus stood abruptly and exited the hall. He didn't know exactly what Minerva meant by repeating his mistakes and he didn't want to know, whatever the woman thought she knew she was wrong.

By the time he reached his classroom his mood had worsened and it was an unfortunate house elf that bore the brunt of his anger moments later.

"What do you want?!" he roared, when the small elf popped into the room.

"P-pardon Pocky P-Professor, I was just to be leaving Miss Granger's breakfast for her..." the elf stammered, bowing its head apologetically.

"Then go leave it in her rooms, she will not be using this room today." He growled.

"B-but Miss Granger is not being in her rooms, Hogwarts Headmistress told Pocky to check Potion's rooms...Miss Granger is not being here...Pocky has failed Headmistress!" the elf whimpered.

"She's what?!" the Potion's Master thundered, flinging the platter out of the terrified elf's hand and across the floor. Pocky the elf cowered as the dark wizard swept past him and left the classroom and didn't dare move until he heard the door slam afterwards.

Author's Notes: So Hermione realised she loves him and that a physical relationship with no chance of love is only going to break her heart...but he's going after her! Is it sad that I'm all excited over my own story right now, so much that I'm starting the next chapter right now!


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Notes: Seriously everyone! Wow! We've nearly hit 400 reviews! I honestly can't believe that this story is heading towards 400 reviews before it's finished! You guys are awesome! If this chapter puts it over the 400 review mark I will be literally bouncing in excitement!

Disclaimer: Don't own it...as usual

Chapter Twenty-Six

"Where is the infernal woman?!"

The occupants of the burrow turned to find a rather irate looking Severus Snape in their doorway. The three youngest occupants for a moment resembled horrified first years at his presence.

"Good morning Severus, would you like some tea?" Molly spoke up from the kitchen. His gaze snapped to the Weasley matriarch immediately.

"No I do not want tea." He barked. "Where is Miss Granger?"

"She's not here." Molly told him calmly. "She left less than an hour ago."

"No thanks to you, you great-"

"Ronald Weasley shut your mouth this instant!" Molly shouted. Ron wisely chose to obey and stopped talking before he said anything stupid. "She left with George earlier and said something about errands to run. She said she would probably come back later."

The dark haired wizard stared between his former students and the older witch for a moment, before grunting a response and turning on his heel. He exited the burrow with the slam of the front door, as loudly as when he had entered.

"That was interesting..." Harry said under his breath.

"Still a git." Ron mumbled.

"I think...he's worried about her." Ginny said. Mother and daughter shared and knowing look, before Molly placed a tray of tea and cake in front of them and things in the burrow returned to normal once more.

Two days later everyone started gathering to Grimmauld place on Christmas eve. Hermione couldn't help but smile despite feeling rejected by Severus. The former headquarters for the Order of the Phoenix found itself bursting at the seams with its members.

"Hello? Is anyone there? I can't get through the door." A familiar voice called. Hermione laughed and headed up the stairs where she found Neville stood in the doorframe at the top.

"Happy Christmas Neville." She smiled, hugging him and then kissing him chastely on the lips. He flushed heavily and she pointed upwards. "Fred and George."

"R-right." He nodded. "Happy Christmas Hermione."

"Come on down, almost everyone is here." She said, leading the way back down the stairs. Neville entered the kitchen and was greeted by hugs all around before they heard another voice called from the top of the stairs.

"Oi! You sods, send a woman up would you?!" the voice of Charlie Weasley bellowed down the stairway.

"Hermione?" Ginny asked.

"He's your brother." She sighed, turning and heading back up the stairs.

"But you were already stood up! I've already been up and down those stairs plenty of times!" Ginny replied.

"Hi Charlie, Happy Christmas." She smiled, hugging him and kissing him to release the spell.

"Happy Christmas." He replied. They turned upon hearing footsteps behind them. Hermione's heart pounded the minute she spotted Severus and Minerva in the hallway. She couldn't help but freeze up.

The older wizard made to turn away from her but Minerva shoved his shoulder firmly back in the direction of her and Charlie.

"Oh no you don't young man, you know the drill by now." She said firmly. "This is the only time of year I make you do anything."

"That woman, is most definitely a lie." He ground out. "I hardly think Miss Granger and Master Weasley want an audience."

"I think you're misunderstanding Professor." Charlie spoke up.

"Well are you going to move out of my way?" he spat. Shrugging Charlie started down the stairs and grinned widely when he heard the man behind him curse before he'd even taken five steps.

"They put the mistletoe on the kitchen doorway this year." Hermione explained. He met her gaze and he could see she was angry at him. He realised that what he had witnessed was not some heated snogging session but instead a kiss under the mistletoe, of course she was annoyed at him for jumping to the wrong conclusion.

"You are a very hard witch to track down Miss Granger." He told her. "Every time I have searched for you, you have conveniently been out."

"I think we covered everything that we needed to the other day Sir, I owled you my completed final potion and notes so I think that about wraps everything up." She replied.

Minerva observed the two, she wasn't blind or stupid, she knew the pair were obviously crazy about each other. Severus being Severus was bound to have done something stupid, if not more than one thing stupid and Hermione was likely to have taken it to heart.

Hermione suddenly seemed to cast her colder thoughts aside and smiled at Minerva.

"Happy Christmas." She told them both, before leaning quickly forward and kissing Severus to release the spell.

She was proud of herself that she only lingered a heartbeat longer than she should have done before pulling away. Unfortunately even that mere brush of lips was enough to make them feel as if they had been scolded. To anyone else, Severus Snape wouldn't have looked any different, the two witches in the doorway with him however knew him better than that.

"Severus, be a dear?" Minerva asked.

"No, actually I don't think I will." He smirked, heading past Hermione and down the stairs.

"Severus!" Minerva shouted after him. "Get back up here and let me through the doorway!"

"I'll go get him," the younger witch assured her, "Or...someone... Someone will be right up."

She reached the bottom of the stairs to find Severus sat in one corner of the room, as far away from everyone else as he could get.

"Perhaps the Mister's Weasley should use enchanted mistletoe that allows witches to free one another?" he said, raising an eyebrow at her.

"You didn't have to be so mean." She frowned. "Could one of you gentlemen please go and let Minerva in?"

"I will!"

"No I think I should!"

The twins both laughed and shoved each other as they got to their feet, each wanting to claim that they had managed to kiss the Headmistress of Hogwarts and get away with it.

"I think boys, that perhaps it would be wise for you both to sit and keep your heads down for a moment." Arthur spoke up. "I will go and retrieve her now."

"Don't think you've gotten away from me, you and I are having a discussion later Severus!" Minerva scolded, when she reached the kitchen, followed by Mr Weasley. Sniggers were heard from the other end of the kitchen and the Weasley boys observed their dreaded Potions Professor getting scolded.

Hermione went and sat next to them and helped herself to a Christmas cookie from the table. She groaned at the sugary treat and glanced over to Harry.

"How on earth did you get Creature to start making such delicious food Harry?" she asked.

"Well..." He replied reluctantly. "As long as I give him plenty of work to do and act respectful he seems fine, in fact he didn't even make these, Pippy did. I think Creature likes her, that's why he's been pleasant recently."

"Pippy?" Hermione asked, glancing around the table. "You have _two_ house elves! Harry!" Hermione couldn't help but feel disappointed in her friend.

"Hermione she had nowhere else to go." He replied defensively. "All of the families that were imprisoned or kissed or killed, a lot of house elves became homeless. They have the whole cellar to themselves and I even did it up nice for them so they aren't being mistreated and they like to work. I did tell them I would free them at any time they wished it but they looked horrified."

"Yeah, I did notice that about the Hogwarts elves..." she admitted.

"They're fine Hermione; I don't allow them to punish themselves either. After seeing how horrified they looked at the idea of freedom I told them that if I caught them ironing their hands or banging their heads or anything like that, then I would immediately free them." He smiled.

The kitchen was full of laughter and lovely smelling food for the length of the day. Hermione grinned as she watched Ginny, Luna, Seamus, the twins, Ron and Neville playing 'never have I ever'.

Unfortunately for Lavender she was currently hiding in preparation for her transformation, the full moon had bad timing to land on Christmas Eve. She would be joining the Weasleys For Christmas dinner tomorrow to make up for missing it. Harry was in a deep conversation with Charlie about something. Hermione just sat alone for a moment, watching everyone that she cared about enjoying themselves.

"Hello?" a voice called. Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion and she headed for the stairs to investigate. Everyone was here...so who was upstairs? She froze as platinum blonde hair came into sight.

"Draco Malfoy..." she stated flatly.

"We were invited, I swear." He said defensively. "We wouldn't have been able to get into the house otherwise."

"Ah, Draco, Narcissa," Severus's voice came from behind her, "I was beginning to think you weren't going to save me from the Gryfindor masses."

"You invited them?" Hermione asked, not accusingly but still looking to connect the dots.

"No, actually Harry did." Draco spoke up. "We can't seem to get through the doorway Godfather."

"I believe you have the Mister's Weasley to thank for that, Hermione if you would be so kind?" he murmured. Something about his voice stirred butterflies in her stomach. She glanced at him for a moment and met his gaze, for a second it was as if they were back to before he had once again dismissed her...then the hurt resurfaced and she turned back to the Malfoy's in the entrance.

Hesitantly Hermione stepped forward to the threshold and raised up on her toes to press her lips very briefly against the startled blonde. Sure enough though the spell released him and he was able to step through.

"Sorry, Fred and George's enchanted mistletoe; you have to be kissed by a member of the opposite sex from the other side of the doorway." She explained.

"What happens if no one is the other side?" he asked.

"Nothing, and nothing would happen if it were either all witches or all wizards either. They could do with changing it though because your Godfather left none other than the Headmistress stood there rather than free her." She said, careful to avoid saying his name again to prevent causing herself the pain.

"Well then, be a dear Severus?" Narcissa said. She watch him lean over and kiss her and couldn't help but feel jealous. She knew it was beyond ridiculous, it was enchanted mistletoe for Merlin's sake. Not to mention that her and the potions master were not a couple.

"Come on down." She said to Draco, turning away from Severus and Mrs Malfoy. "There's plenty to eat and drink."

Things seemed to quieten down when the youngest Malfoy followed her into the kitchen but Harry was on his feet and heading over to him straight away. He shook his hand and invited him to join him and Charlie for a drink.

"Hermione come on, a couple of drinks to get you in the spirit?" Harry asked. "You haven't had anything more than butterbeer yet..."

"Oh alright fine," she sighed. "But I'm not getting drunk just because it's Christmas Eve."

"Afraid of what you might get up to Granger?" the blonde asked smugly.

"More of what I might say, I have a feeling I'd open my mouth about a few things best left unsaid." She frowned.

"How about we follow the example from across the room and play a game?" Charlie asked. "How about goblet of fire?"

"How do you play?" Hermione asked.

"It's easy, we all pick our drink of choice and a shot glass and on the table in the middle we had an empty goblet." Charlie explained. "We all take turns to do truth or dare. If you fail a truth or dare by passing then you take a shot of your own drink, if you do it correctly a shot of your drink goes into the goblet."

"Alright, who starts?" she asked.

"Also if you drink more than three times you then have to drink from the goblet." Draco added. "Ladies first."

"Right. Yum." She said wrinkling her nose. "I'll start off easy, truth."

"Are you a virgin?" the blonde asked.

"Yes." She replied, leaning over and tipping a shot of her butterbeer into the goblet. Charlie and Draco looked mildly surprised but Harry didn't bat an eyelid. "Harry?"

"Truth." He shrugged.

"Are you planning on asking Ginny to marry you?" she asked.

"Yes." He said quietly, flushing slightly and tipping a shot of firewhiskey into the goblet.

"Dare." The red head next to him grinned, before he could be asked.

"Alright, I dare you to go and sing a My Christmas Love to McGonagall!" Harry laughed. Charlie laughed but stood and made his way over to Minerva and knelt on the floor in front of her and began to sing. After only a moment Molly hexed his mouth shut sending him back to the table looking rather sheepish.

Hermione silently released the hex so that he could talk again. "Was that a pass or a fail?" he asked straight away.

"I vote fail." Harry laughed.

"But you didn't say how much of it he had to sing." Draco pointed out.

"_and_ his failing wasn't exactly his fault." Hermione agreed.

"Alright fine, pass." Harry agreed, Charlie leant over and tipped a shot of firewhiskey into the goblet. "Draco, your go."

"Dare." He replied, causing Charlie to grin.

"Since I still don't believe it could possibly happen even or enchanted mistletoe, I dare you to kiss 'Mione." He laughed. Draco shrugged casually and gestured for her to come closer, clearly he was above moving, instead of kicking up a fuss over it she just moved a bit closer. She couldn't stop the blush that rose to her cheeks at the thought of not only Draco Malfoy kissing her but everyone witnessing it.

"Sorry." He smirked, before swopping forwards and pressing his lips firmly against hers. He didn't just leap away from her either; instead he moved his mouth over hers in deliberate motions before pulling away. By now she knew that she was practically purple in the face, Malfoy could kiss...and yet he looked complete composed. "Truth or dare Gr-Hermione?" Her name sounded strange on his lips.

"Um...well dare I suppose." She answered reluctantly.

"My Godfather is looking rather grouchy over there, why not go give him a nice Christmas kiss?" he asked. Hermione's gaze flicked to Harry's in horror for a moment but since she knew for a fact that none of her friends nor Severus had said a word to Draco about their involvement, she couldn't say anything without implicating herself. She took a deep breath and stood before slowly making her way to Severus.

He arched an eyebrow at her questioningly when she stood in front of his seat. "Yes Miss Granger, can I help you?" he asked sounding rather cold.

"Sorry, truth or dare." She whispered nervously. She quickly bent down to kiss him before she backed out. He stiffened under her at the contact and she pulled away feeling ashamed and hurt. He didn't want her any more... She whispered a further apology before hurriedly backing away from him and practically running back to the table and taking a large gulp of Harry's drink.

After daring Harry to charm Fred and George's clothes pink without them realising it was him she drifted out of focus. She was busy feeling hurt. Whatever she had with Severus was over. She had wanted to give up on it, she had known that she couldn't continue to be involved with him if he couldn't love her back...but the reality of it hurt so much more.

"Draco are you gay?" Charlie asked.

"Yes." The blonde nodded, which brought Hermione sharply back to the current moment. What?! Draco Malfoy was gay?!

"Hermione it's your turn." Harry nudged her.

"Oh, truth then." She replied.

"Are you involved with my godfather?" Draco asked. Hermione knew the instant he asked that her face would give her away before she even had a chance to reply. Instead she couldn't stop her flight instincts as she rose and fed from the room.

No one missed the fact that a certain Dark Wizard rose from his seat moments later and left the room also.

Author's notes: so after a couple of days apart our couple or not couple to be more precise are about to clear the air! Exciting stuff! I'm going to continue writing now but I have a killer headache so I don't know how long I will be writing for tonight.


	27. Chapter 27

Author's Notes: OH MY GOD! SORRY! It's been ages and I'm really sorry about that! I am however a busy mum of a 9 month old and a preschooler that are both home with me all day as well as me trying to work from home and do housework! The main lack of time recently has been due to me trying to exercise in my spare time to get in shape. So far I have lost 24lbs in the past month! I'm a very happy girlie right now! So anyway one with the story!

Disclaimer: You know the drill by now; I don't own it and make no profits!

Chapter Twenty-Seven

Hermione made her way up to the library of Grimmauld place. As soon as she shut the door behind her, she pressed her back against it before sliding to the floor and pulling her knees to her chest.

She couldn't help herself, the tears came and they wouldn't stop. She clung to her knees and buried her face into her jeans, staining them with her tears. She fought for a few deep breaths to try and calm herself and then heard a knock on the door.

"I don't want to talk about it Harry!" she called back.

"You may not," he voice that was most definitely not Harry's replied, causing her to jump to her feet and back away from the door as if it would swallow her whole. "but I do." Sure enough the old door to the library opened and revealed Severus Snape stood in all his black cloaked glory.

"Hi..." she whispered, not knowing what else to say.

He stepped slowly and deliberately into the room, closing the door behind him and warding it, to prevent anyone snooping into their business. This was a conversation that he would rather keep as private as possible.

He took in her slightly dishevelled appearance, she'd been crying and it made him wonder what exactly had made her cry. Just one more bit of evidence that she had somehow gotten under his skin.

"You're crying." He stated, stepping closer to her. "Why?"

"I-" she opened her mouth to explain but couldn't really think of a good explanation and stopped mid breath. "It's hard to explain." She looked at him and tried to gather up her courage. "You wanted to say something?"

"I did." He nodded, before reaching forward to pluck her bottom lip from between her teeth. Her eyes flew to his in surprise at his actions. "You ran away."

"Did you come here to state the obvious Severus?" she couldn't help but let a small smile slip onto her face.

"Quiet woman!" he barked at her. "You were just gone! In the middle of the night, vanished! I had no idea where you were!"

"You were worried about me?" she asked softly.

"I didn't say that, I-...Yes Hermione, of course I was worried." He admitted.

"But you didn't come after me though." She sighed.

"I did actually." He admitted with a small smirk. "Barged right into Molly's kitchen first thing in the morning, Potter and Weasley nearly pissed themselves."

"Severus!" she gasped, stifling a giggle. "They didn't say anything."

"They told me you'd be back later...but since I knew you were safe and that you obviously wanted to get away from me, I left you alone." He explained. "Do you know how annoying it is, having to stock the infirmary by myself after having someone else do it?"

"Is that your way of saying you missed me?" she asked.

"I suppose after having your incessant chattering around it _does_ seem overly quiet." He replied. "Why were you crying?"

"Well, that's a pretty long story." She sighed, whipping her eyes and trying to straighten her hair a bit. "The short version is that Draco said something to remind me how much of an idiot I am, and even though I know it's stupid...it still hurts."

"Brightest witch of her age, doing something so stupid it brought her to tears? Shall I go in form Madam Skeeter now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Only if you want your sex life to be the cover story." She retorted.

"I do not _have_ a sex life currently." He replied smugly.

"Neither do I." She replied.

"Please do not tell me that you are hiding and crying because Draco Malfoy made fun of you for being a virgin?" he frowned. "I really thought you were beyond that."

"No you complete idiot of a man!" she snapped. "He asked me if I was involved with you! Obviously I didn't actually answer the question; then again I'm not even sure I know the answer. Clearly we weren't in a relationship and yet it can't be just a sexual relationship either because we weren't actually having sex. Then of course you with your stupid morals don't want me for sex or rather you do but you won't because you think I'm worth _more_! I'm so unbelievably sick of fighting with you and having the same conversation over and over when the fact of the matter is that I'm already in love with you! _That_ is the stupid thing that Hermione Granger did! She fell in love with someone who most emphatically can not and will not love her back!"

She stopped as suddenly as she had started. She was panting from her impromptu ranting and appalled that she had just told him everything that she had. What was more surprising was that he said nothing, no callus remarks, no excuses...no anything. She finally dared herself to look up at him and found him stood looking as shocked as she was.

"We need to start this conversation again." He said suddenly. With that he spun on his heel and left the room. Just as she found herself wondering if that had really just happened, he entered the room again and once again shut the door behind him.

"What on- mhpf" Hermione found her words promptly cut off mid sentence as his lips descended on hers. He kissed her deeply, pulling her body lush against his and taking her breath away. She groaned in his arms and then suddenly froze. They hadn't solved anything; she was still going to get her heart broken. She quickly pulled her lips away from his and he let her go instantly.

"No, I can't do this." She said quickly, backing away from him. "I cannot get involved with you, I can't just-"

"I had no intentions of stripping you here Hermione." He assured her. "I just needed to show you how much I want you."

"Severus I...you were right before." She said softly. "I _do_ deserve more, not more than you. It isn't who you are that is the problem. I love you, sarcasm and snarkiness and all...but I deserve more than you are willing to give me. I want someone who will love me back, who wants a future with me." She felt better or having said it and instantly more confident in her decision. She did deserve to have her happy ending, she deserved to make the best of her future, she owed it to all those that weren't here today to live her life to the fullest.

"I do want you in my life." Severus said slowly, looking somewhat uncomfortable. "I missed you when you were only gone for a few days. Tell me Hermione, how many people do you think I have ever missed at all? Let alone after a few days?"

"What are you saying exactly?" she asked uncertainly. He stepped closer to her and took her hand in his.

"I don't know." He said honestly. "I still don't know if I can ever love you Hermione, the difference is that I do know that I care about you. You somehow got under my skin, probably something to do with the Gryfindor pigheadedness. You do deserve to be loved and you deserve everything that you want in life. So if you don't want to take a chance on me then I understand...I did however want you to know before you move on, I don't just want you for sex Hermione...you do mean something to me."

"I-..." Hermione looked up at him and smiled slightly, he looked so uncomfortable; typical Severus Snape, trying to bare his soul and looks like his chewing grass. "Can I have a bit of time to think about it?" She asked finally, squeezing his hand with hers.

"Of course." He nodded. She stepped forward and leant up to kiss him. "Although if you want to think about it I do suggest not continuing this." Hermione grinned up and him as he nodded to her and then excused himself from the room. She moved to the nearest chair and sank into it. Well, that just made things a bit more difficult to decide.

He actually did care about her, he wanted her... It was easy to tell herself he was wrong for her when she thought it was only physical for him, but knowing that it wasn't made things harder. She should be happy and some part of her was very much a giddy school girl right now, however she didn't know if she could let herself get involved. He still couldn't promise her love, couldn't promise her a future or a family... Would she head down this road only to find heartbreak at the end of it?

Another knock interrupted her thoughts and she raised her head from her hands to see who was stood in the doorway.

"I didn't mean to stick my foot in it." The blonde said awkwardly.

"It wasn't really your fault M-Draco." She corrected, attempting to be friendly. "You couldn't have known..."

"Known what exactly? That my Godfather is practically obsessed with you?" he asked. "He willingly followed you from the room in front of everyone without knowing what had upset you was at all relevant to him. That says a lot about his relationship with you."

"We don't have a relationship." She groaned. "I don't know if we ever will yet. I don't know if he-..."

"I'm sure you're aware of exactly how private he is about these matters, he's my Godfather and I can only recall about three occasions when he has shown me any sort of affection. All of those were times when I nearly died, so for him to show that he has any kind of affection for you and allow others to witness it...no matter whether he believes it or not – he loves you." Draco said.

"He told me he doesn't, he can't and he won't." She replied quietly.

"Yes well, I believe you have his past to thank for those sentiments but whether he thinks he does or not, he does and that's what matters don't you think?" he asked.

"Why are you saying this?" she asked him after a moment of silence.

"It's not for you, I'm not overly bothered whether you're with the man of your dreams or not...unless of course you were actually in danger then I may actually care." He explained. "But him I do care about, he did a lot for me, most of which I was very difficult about and threw back in his face...he deserves to be happy."

Hermione didn't see Severus again that day. By the time she had gathered enough courage to head downstairs, he had already made his excuses and headed back to Hogwarts. She spent her evening with her friends trying not to think about Severus and instead enjoy a merry Christmas Eve with those close to her.

Molly caught her alone later in the evening, when the many guests had left and everyone else was winding down and packing up for bed. The older witch met Hermione's gaze and Hermione know exactly what would follow.

"That's the second time this week you've had our Severus out of sorts." She commented. "I dare say he seems quite taken with you." Hermione didn't exactly know how to respond to that and instead backtracked a little.

"So, he really did come after me the other day?" she asked quietly.

"That he did." Mrs Weasley nodded. "I trust you two have come to an understanding?"

"I don't know yet." Hermione admitted. "I haven't made any decisions yet..."

"I hope you'll be careful about it." The older witch told her gently.

"That's why I haven't made up my mind." Hermione nodded. "I'm not sure whether it's a good idea or if I'll still end up getting my heart broken."

"No dear, I meant be careful with his heart." Molly clarified. "Don't get me wrong, I wouldn't like to see you heartbroken either but you're young and smart and beautiful, with the world at your feet. There may be a many more men to take your fancy yet. Severus...as much as he pretends otherwise, it took him a long time to... Well it's not really my place to tell but my point is, if he loves you like I think he does; I'm not sure he could take it if your broke his heart. So dear, if you don't think he's the one for you, then let him down sooner rather than later."

Hermione sat thinking in her room that night. She sat thinking until the house was silent, until even Ginny had given up and fallen asleep. Still she sat. She sighed and flopped backwards to lie on the bed, was she over thinking this?

She closed her eyes and sank into the pillow; sleep wouldn't be coming to her any time soon. She instead tried to picture a life with Severus. Could she? She couldn't help but smile a little at the thought of Severus being a dad. He would actually be a wonderful father, stern but fair and secretly adoring his child more than anything in the world. He went through great lengths to protect her, Ron and Harry and he didn't even like them...he would protect his own child fiercely. Could she picture a life without Severus, as Molly had suggested? Could she picture her life without him in it?

With that thought echoing round her head she leapt out from her bed and rummaged around for her coat and shoes.

"What are you doing?" Ginny groaned.

"Going to Hogwarts." Hermione replied, closing the door behind her. She crept through the house and downstairs until she reached the front door. Stepping outside into the cold she quickly apparated to the Hogwarts gates.

She didn't care about the chilly wind or the sleety rain biting through her pyjamas as she ran up the grounds to the castle. She crossed the courtyard to the viaduct bridge and made her way inside the entrance with a loud creaking of the doors. Barely even a portrait stirred at the noise as she ran to the spiral staircase that reached the dungeon.

Hermione slowed down as she got closer to his door, her nerves getting the better of her. What was she doing?! She hesitated but knocked on his doors anyway - nothing, not even the sound of anyone stirring inside his rooms. Determined she took her wand to his wards, knowing that whilst she probably couldn't break them, the alerts would definitely wake him.

She didn't have to wait long before the door was thrown open and she found herself being forced backwards against the wall opposite his door. He had her at wand point and pinned against the freezing wall for only a moment before her realised that it was her. He slowly lowered his wand and took in her dishevelled state.

"Happy Christmas." She said quietly.

"You are supposed to be with the Weasley's and Potter and Grimmald place." He told her. "And do you ever roam the castle in a suitable state of dress?"

"I'd rather spend Christmas with you." She said softly. She didn't need to elaborate before he dragged her into his rooms with him and slammed the door behind them.


	28. Chapter 28

Author's notes: Wow! Such a response after the last update! Thank you to everyone for the lovely reviews! And to all the messages and reviews of congratulations on the weight loss. I've only lost 2lbs this week but still every pound gone is a step in the right direction! For those who had concerns over the speed of it, I lost 16lbs of it in the first two weeks but since then it has slowed down to a more healthy rate. I was starting with about 4 stone to lose so that's probably why the speedy start. Anyway, on a more relevant note – Severus and Hermione...about to take some pretty big steps in their relationship. The beginning scene was actually inspired by the events between my husband and I when we first realised that we were serious about each other and loved each other. He is one of the least romantic and tactful people I have ever met but I love him to bits...which is a good thing considering it's been six years since we had that conversation that inspired this. Also again a huge apology for the gaps between updates but I've been soooo busy that writing has to come bottom of the list. I'm going on holiday this week also and will be gone for over a week so I suspect it'll be another couple of weeks before another update arrives but I will do my best.

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, the characters books or films etc.

Chapter Twenty-Eight

The door slammed with a resounded bang behind them, leaving them stood in a dark silence in his rooms. He was eyeing her intently as if waiting for some signal.

"I thought about what you said..." she said softly. His face gave nothing away, it made her nervous to continue.

"Hermione Granger, thinking...who would have ever suspect such a thing." He smirked.

"Oh do shut up, I'm trying to say something." She muttered, her courage resurfaced in the face of their usual banter. "Trust Severus Snape to suck any remote possibility of romance out of a situation."

"I believe you beat me to the punch by turning up in brightly coloured pyjamas and soaked from head to foot but do go on." He retorted.

"See, that right there." She said, poking him in the chest. "_That_ is something that any other man would have overlooked seeing as how a soaking woman in their rooms would usually mean they were going to get something out of it if they didn't screw it up." She couldn't help but laugh at the situation as she tugged off a soaked coat and kicked off her cold wet boots. She walked straight past him and flicked her wand towards the fireplace so that she could warm up. He looked on incredulously as she made herself at home on his sofa. "Where was I? Oh yes, I thought about what you said...and I know that you probably won't ever be willing to offer some of the things that I would ideally like in life...but life is generally a bitch. I think you're worth the chance. I could have all the things I want with some other man one day, except one thing...the most important one...you. You're the one that I want and you're the one that I love, so as long as you'll have me I'd rather take my chances with that. After all...Severus Snape doesn't go charging into Molly Weasley's kitchen after just anybody now does he?" He marched over to her and bent down, glaring at her daringly.

"Why you insolent little-" He never finished his sentence. Hermione had grabbed hold of his collar and tugged his lips down to hers. That was enough to stop his train of thought completely as he took a moment to taste the young witch's mouth thoroughly. "I suppose someone has to want you." He grinned. She couldn't help but let out a slightly joyous laugh at the uncharacteristic expression on his face. How many people had ever seen the dark potion's master smile? Actually smile, as opposed to smirk.

"I think I should get out of these wet clothes." She said, standing up.

"You are a witch are you not? That is what drying charms are for." He told her. She ignored him and pulled her damp pyjama top off over her head. His eyes flew to her bared breasts in front of him.

"Are you going to make me figure out how this all works by myself or are you going to help?" she asked shyly, chewing her bottom lip and praying that this he wouldn't turn her away. She need not have worried though, as he clearly didn't need telling twice. She felt her body being crushed against his as he kissed her again. His hands trailed her sides and his lips roamed to her neck and shoulders before drifting lower to her breasts. She grabbed the front of his shirt and tugged him upright enough that she could hastily undo the buttons on it; her hands helping him shove it off of his shoulders and discard it before returning to feel the flat plain of his stomach. His lips returned to hers as he unfastened his trousers, causing them to drop to the floor at his feet. He didn't hesitate before slipping his fingers into the waistband of her pyjama bottoms and tugging them down her hips leaving her stood in only a pair of plain black cotton underwear...she momentarily wished that she _had_ put more effort into her appearance after all.

He loosened his grasp on her for a moment and she saw the hesitation on his face. He opened his mouth but she quickly cut him off with her hand.

"Hermione I-"

"No." She said firmly. "No talking, you'll only stick your foot in it. Just to clarify I know that you aren't nor do I expect you to suddenly turn into Prince Charming and I still want you away. I am more than capable of making up my own mind so could you please stop protesting and kiss me?"

Sure enough he bent down to press his lips to hers again, softer this time. "Now who's the romantic?" he murmured against her lips, before gripping her thighs and lifting her up to wrap her legs around his waist. "Bedroom then."

Her eyes flicked nervously to his as he lowered them onto the bed, which was still unmade from his hasty exit when she had woken him. His were smouldering, she felt herself heat up under his gaze alone. They were both nearly naked and skin pressed against skin and it felt so good. What on earth could feel better than feeling his lips against hers, his body covering hers protectively, possessively?

"Please..." she pleaded with him. She just wanted him, needed him. She didn't want to let her nerves get the better of her and cause her to back out, she didn't want him to come up with more protests about not being worthy of her, being too old for her. All she wanted was him. She saw him lean up and tug his underwear down, they were just plain grey boxers but then she wasn't interested in the underwear was she? Her own underwear followed as he hooked his fingers around the damp material between her legs and dragged them down. Once free of any and all clothing her moved back up to her kissing his way along her stomach and chest and shoulders. She gasped as she felt him slide two fingers smoothly into her.

Severus barely contained his own groan of appreciation; she was so warm and positively soaking. They had both been thinking about this moment for so long that it was bound to have them wound up by now. She was ready for him, or as ready as she could be. He slowly eased his fingers from her and moved to replace it with his solid length. Hermione sucked in her breath as he slid smoothly all the way into her. He waited for a brief moment before withdrawing slightly and then sliding back to the hilt again. He watched her face, she didn't look like she was agony but he could see the discomfort.

Hermione was trying to relax, trying to breathe...she knew the first time would hurt and she was surprised to find it wasn't quite the horror story she had been imagining but it wasn't pleasurable by any means. She felt impossibly stretched, it she stretched her to the point that it stung. Was it his size or was it because it was her first time? She wasn't sure but she found that as he continued to move the discomfort began to ease away fairly quickly.

"Hermione..." his voice called to her. She focused on him and he shifted his hips in a different angle, grinding his pelvis against hers and causing a delightful shudder to roll through her. Her eyes widened, so it could be pleasurable... He continued to roll his hips, grinding against her at a steady pace until she found her lips falling open in a small moan. "That's it, just relax and let me show you." He dropped kisses across her neck and shoulder as he continuing to thrust into her.

To start with keeping control was surprisingly easy despite the tightness, seeing the discomfort of his partner was enough to stay his own enjoyment. Now though, now that she was emitting small mewing sounds and moans it was very difficult to maintain the control not to just plough into her relentlessly, let alone be in control enough to ensure she got some enjoyment out of it. He doubted that she would be able to reach orgasm, very few women did on their first time – he wanted her to at least enjoy it though, then later when they were both more relaxed he could focus on bringing her to her own climax through whatever means necessary.

Hermione felt her stomach clench in strange ways as he moved inside her, words couldn't describe the small waves of pleasure that grew with every stroke. She had been missing out, all this time...these wonderful feelings.

"Oh God..." she panted, as her nether regions started to feel extra sensitive. Tingles of pleasure started and made her tense up. She felt so warm suddenly, like she'd run a marathon.

Severus took in her worked up state, the flush slowly growing across her chest as she panted and tensed up, gripping the covers beneath her. She was reacting to him far better than he could have imagined.

"Relax, Hermione." He murmured against her lips as he kissed her thoroughly. He swallowed her whimper as her whole body started to shake and she tense around him. He was done for, feeling her tightening around his swollen appendage brought on his own release almost instantly. His lips left hers in a half gasp half groan as he spilled into her. He continued to thrust weakly, trying to prolong her pleasure but lacking the strength or motility to do so. He needn't have worried too much as a warm rush ran through him from head to foot and from her shuddering, he knew that she felt the same. It seemed to draw out the moment, to cause their climaxes to linger around them. He lifted his face from her neck to kiss her again. This kiss was lazy and luxurious.

It was Hermione that noticed first. She slowly opened her eyes and saw a slight shimmering in the room. It seemed to fill the air almost like dust or glitter. Magic. She could _see_ magic in the air. He leant up on his arms to see what she was looking at and his jaw dropped. His reaction was more surprising to her than the magic itself.

He had once told her that magic is almost always raised between two magical beings during sex...so whilst it had been surprising to see it for herself she hadn't thought it was unusual. Then she saw his face, this wasn't his first time but he seemed more surprised by the magic than her. He climbed off of her and started glancing over their bodies and she knew. It was her.

Her magic as a pure adult had caused this. She watched him as he knelt on the bed, his gaze riveted on his forearm. She leant up quickly, leaning to see what he was looking at. His mark was gone. She looked closer, his scars...gone. She quickly glanced down at her own chest to find it smooth and unmarred and her own arm...perfect... She could still picture the word so harshly dug into her flesh but it wasn't there.

"It shouldn't have touched me..." he said quietly. It took her a moment to comprehend his meaning. He had told her about sharing power, her power boost had been shared with him... She threw herself forward to kiss him.

"I _knew_ it." She said, covering his lips and face with kisses. "I wanted you to be the one...my first time I-...I knew you were worth the risk." She couldn't help the overwhelming happiness that bubbled inside of her, he loved her – he must do! Their connection was strong enough to gift him with the power they raised...it had to be love.

"I don't understand." He said quietly. He hadn't returned her kisses; he merely remained knelt on the bed looking shell shocked. It was a very rare occurrence indeed but Severus Snape had lost all control and composure. In this moment he felt like the entire world had shifted beneath his very feet.

He looked scared; startled...he felt it too. Hermione continued to buzz around him, excited about the magic that had erased all traces of dark magic from them. It was true, he felt different. Completely different, as if years had been lifted from his life and weights lifted off of his shoulders. He didn't deserve such a gift...he didn't even deserve her innocence but this – this was a gift of pure magic. He couldn't felt but feel overwhelmed, all this time he had been fighting and trying to atone for the wrongs he committed. It was over. Gifts like this were not given to dark wizards with ill in their hearts; he had finally been given the clean slate he had wished for for so long.

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard Hermione's scream of agony.


	29. Chapter 29

Author's Notes: So once again a big gap in uploads, sorry! I promise I haven't abandoned you completely though and I'm still doing this story...just slowly. So I imagine everyone is thinking what's going on with Hermione so I'll just shut my pie hole and let you get on with reading now!

Disclaimer: You know the drill, I don't own it.

Chapter Twenty-Nine

"Hermione, are you alright?" he asked, seeing her rub her stomach as if in pain. Then she gripped the chest of draws with her other hand as she doubled over in pain. "Hermione!"

"I don't know what it is." She gasped as he helped her to sit.

"We need to get you to the hospital wing." He frowned. "Is it just your stomach area?"

"Madam Pomfrey didn't know what it was last time I asked her." She sighed. "I've been having pains...since before the school year started...I spoke to her about it a couple of weeks ago and she couldn't find anything unusual."

"Where is the pain? Is it always in the same place?" he asked her.

"Always the same although they started weaker, it's like period pains only...urgh!" she groaned wrapping both arms around her abdomen tightly.

"Your potion, did it not help with that issue?" he asked.

"It did to start with." Hermione nodded, in far too much pain to be embarrassed. "Both my other test subjects reported lessened pains and lighter bleeding and they still reported as much last week."

"Anything else changed recently?" he asked. "No other new potions, muggle medication? No changes in diet?"

"Nothing except that potion." She winced. Her eyes widened in horror as she felt a rush of warmth between her legs. She panicked, she wasn't due on. "I need to see Madam Pomfrey again." She grabbed the draws tighter to stand but Severus stopped her. He took her hands and helped her carefully to her feet.

"Can you walk?" he asked, summoning a cloak and wrapping it around her for modesty, before pulling on a pair of trousers and fastening them.

"I think so." She replied biting her lip to keep from crying as she clutched the draws for balance.

"Not good enough." He swept her off her feet in one fast movement and strode out of the bedroom to the living room fireplace.

"No! You can't carry me!" she protested. "I think I'm bleeding."

"Of for heaven's sake woman, you seriously think I'm going to get all squeamish over a bit of blood right now?!" he snapped. He barked his destination and stepped into the fireplace.

"Severus what can I- oh dear!" Poppy gasped, seeing the barely covered pair hurrying into the room. "Hermione dear, what seems to be the problem?"

"Pains worse." She replied.

"This way." The mediwitch said, leading them to a bed on the far right side of the hospital wing. Severus placed her on the cot and no sooner had he let her go than the mediwitch brushed him out of the way and sealed the curtains around the bed. He growled at being shut out but he supposed that Poppy wasn't exactly aware of their relationship...hell they hadn't actually got around to discussing their relationship either. He began to pace on the other side of the curtain, he had to do something.

"I'm bleeding." Hermione said worriedly.

"I can see that dear, hold still." The older witch told her. She began casting diagnostic charms over her.

"Severus?" she asked, glancing around.

"I trust that you two have more than a professional relationship then?" Poppy asked. Hermione just bit her lip and nodded. It was fairly obvious from the fact that he came through wearing only trousers and herself only a cloak that they were involved. "Alright, he can come back in in a moment. The worst of the bleeding seems to be slowing now. Let's get you cleaned up a little and then we'll get you some potions."

A few charms later and Hermione was cleaned of blood. Poppy came back with a few potions and Severus followed baring clothes and now looking as least decently dressed. The mediwitch waved her wand and the pyjamas in Severus' arms vanished and reappeared on her body, with another wave the cloak vanished from her.

"Pain potion and a mild dose of blood replenisher," Poppy said, handing Hermione two vials. She downed them quickly to avoid the bitter taste of the pain potion. The blood replenisher didn't taste overly bad but it was salty. "Your blood loss seems surprisingly minimal but I don't want to take any chances so you'll be staying here for at least tonight."

"Christmas morning..." Hermione mumbled miserably. "I've sorry Poppy, Severus...I know this isn't exactly the Christmas morning anyone wanted."

"Hush now," Poppy shushed her, fluffing the pillows a bit. "I just want to go over some questions with you and I would like to run some further tests...it's up to you whether you would like Severus to leave the room or not, you won't need to remove your clothes but the questions may be personal."

"He can stay, I think we've crossed pretty much any embarrassing personal conversation we're going to by now." Hermione laughed weakly despite herself. Severus couldn't help but allow his mouth to twitch at the thought of her embarrassment and horror at the potion's ingredient on her final potion. He doubted that anything pertaining to Hermione's health, even in such a private region could be much worse for her.

He took in the sight of her, slightly paler than normal with her hair still ruffled from their earlier love making...she was still beautiful. Or at least he thought so. She thankfully looked to be in one piece and Poppy didn't appear to be panicking, these were good signs. He couldn't believe how worried he was, was he doomed to spend the rest of his life feeling like he'd been kicked in the stomach over the girl?

"Alright, so the standard questions first..." Poppy said, "when was your last period?"

"Two weeks ago." Hermione replied without hesitation.

"And your periods have been normal?" the mediwitch asked.

"I think so, nothing so unusual that springs to mind." Hermione nodded, she chewed her lip nervously.

"And are you currently taking any medicinal potions?"

"Only a contraceptive potion, my own one..."

"Alright...we'll come back to that in a minute then. Are you sexually active currently?" she asked. Hermione had to give the older witch credit she didn't so much as blink or look between her and Severus as she asked the question although she had to know the answer.

"Yes." Hermione said quietly.

"And that is all normal? You've never experienced pains or bleeding afterwards before?" she asked. Hermione looked a bit awkward and felt the heat creep into her cheeks.

"I um...there's only been the once...tonight." Hermione replied.

"Before tonight you were a virgin?" Poppy asked to clarify, looking at Hermione somewhat shocked.

"Yes...is that why this..."

"No, this is definitely not just the normal lose of a young woman's virginity dear." Poppy replied reassuringly. "Believe me there should never be this much pain or bleeding afterwards so don't go feared that in future will you?"

"Oh...no, of course." Hermione nodded shyly.

"The pains you were suffering before, have they been gradually getting worse or have they only returned today?"

"No, they've been gradually getting worse, but there was never any bleeding until now." Hermione explained.

"And you were a pure adult..." she frowned. "I'll need to run a few tests to be sure but...I do have theory."

"What's wrong with me?" Hermione asked quickly.

"If I'm correct, absolutely nothing." The mediwitch replied. "Your external scars are gone and I can't sense a glamour charm. I also noticed that Severus' scars have disappeared and I know for a fact that he does not make a habit of using glamour charms..."

"You think the magic did this." Severus spoke up from his seat to one side. Hermione glanced towards him, she wanted to reach out to him but wasn't sure he would appreciate the gesture in the company of other.

"It is only a theory but...a few years back you will remember that Hermione suffered a rather nasty hex or two when she and the other students decided to take on the ministry. There was some extensive internal damage that couldn't all be fixed." The mediwitch explained.

"You think it healed inside as well as out?" he asked.

"You mean I can get pregnant now?" Hermione suddenly asked, trying to sit up, Severus reached his arm out to stop her before Poppy could protest and she led back down.

"It is possible but let's not jump the gun, I will need to test you to be sure." The mediwitch cautioned her. The mediwitch glanced between the couple and Hermione nodded for her to continue to explain to Severus. "The internal damage left some question as to whether Hermione would ever be able to conceive and although there was still a chance that she could conceive the internal scarring made it unlikely that she could carry a pregnancy to term should she wish to. In my initial tests a moment ago...her internal organs appeared normal. I would like to run further tests to be sure but my theory is that you have both indeed been healed inside and out."

A short while later Poppy left them in privacy, to get a few hours sleep before the castle started to wake for Christmas breakfast. Severus sat with his elbows on his knees and his chin resting on his hands.

"What are you thinking?" Hermione asked him, when the silence grew too unnerving to stand any longer.

"Does this change things for you?" he asked, meeting her eyes.

"What? Not, of course not...does it for you?" she asked looking startled. Severus shook his head but still looked at her seriously.

He saw the hope on her face when Poppy had expressed her beliefs that Hermione should be completely healed and have just as much chance as anyone else at having children naturally. The hope and excitement...Hermione wanted a family. He wasn't sure that he did. It wasn't that he didn't want children or a family; more that he didn't think he would be any good at it. His children would hate him as he hated his father. Not to mention that he did like his life the way it was, change discomforted him.

"You chose to gamble your future on me when you were under the impression that you would be unlikely to have them either way. You now know different." He told her.

"You don't want children." Hermione nodded. She couldn't say she wasn't disappointed and it most likely showed on her face.

"I didn't say that." He replied. "But if it is a deal breaker for you then it may be a problem."

"Severus, I-..." she looked up at him and reached her hand out to his, taking it from under his chin and tugging it into her lap. "I love the idea of having children one day...most witches do. I can't lie and tell you that I'm not disappointed that you don't want children...but I'd still rather live my life with you and no children then live it without you too. I don't want someone else...I know I'm still young but...magic doesn't lie does it? The magic was there tonight. For me it's you or no one."

"I never said that I absolutely don't want children Hermione." He told her, relaxing his posture a bit after her reassurances. "I just...I've never really thought about it and in case it has escaped your notice I'm not overly fond of the children I have to teach every day. I will be an awful father and I don't really want to put a child through that."

Hermione couldn't help it. She laughed. Severus scowled at her, how dare the little chit laugh at him?!

"Oh Severus, it's always different when it's your own children! I never thought I'd heard you say you didn't want to do something because you were worried you'd be bad at it!" she laughed. "We have plenty of time later for us to discuss children anyway. Right now I'd rather worry about us."

"Quite." He agreed, leaning forward and pressing his lips to her forehead. "I have orders to let you get some sleep before morning so I should leave you."

"I'd rather you didn't." She pouted., catching hold of his shirt and pulling his lips down to meet hers. She didn't want to let him go, not when she'd only just gotten hold of him.

"But since you are not in a life or death situation, I am not allowed to stay. So, I will wish you pleasant dreams and I will be back to help bust you out at breakfast." He told her, kissing her again before standing to leave.

"Severus?" she enquired softly as he reached the curtain. "I'm sorry our first night together was ruined...but I still don't regret a thing."

"Nothing is ruined." He replied shaking his head. "Nothing could ruin that memory for me Hermione, nothing...I have never had a Christmas gift that can compare to this one."

"I love you." She whispered, as he disappeared the other side of the curtain. She didn't know whether he had heard her or not because he didn't pause or turn back. She didn't mind, she considered herself blessed to see even just the small signs of his feelings shining through. She knew he loved her, he had to or the magic wouldn't have worked the way it did. She smiled to herself as she settled into the covers more comfortably. Severus Snape loved her back.

Author's Notes: OK, so they are finally manoeuvring into "couple" status. More to come, we're not finished yet


End file.
